How Hungry?

In addition to my private practice, I also work for a non profit as a case manager. As part of my job, I do outreach for the homeless. Maybe I have been doing this work too long. Or maybe on a personal level I desire a deeper connection. Whatever the reason, I find my work here lately is opening my eyes to the hungry. Let me explain.

The other day I encountered a homeless man. I struck up a conversation with him, and was able to give him a few necessities. Since it was turning colder, I provided him with the usual blanket, sweat pants, jacket and gloves. As we talked, he began to tell me his story. He told me how he ended up in my city and what his experience has been. Soft spoken, this man was kind as could be. He said that just the other day, a family who was on vacation, actually spent some time with him. He was sleeping in a park, and he befriended a little boy wanting to play ball. He said they played ball all afternoon. When the parents told the little boy it was time to go, the boy said he didn't want to. They ended up getting the homeless man dinner. When they were leaving, they gave him a card in which the little boy wrote a note saying he loved him. The card also had a 20.00 bill in it.

As this homeless man told me his story, tears were running down his cheeks. I spent about a half an hour with him. When I told him I had to leave, I gave him a hug, and he said "thank you for listening to me." As I was walking back to my car, I thought how hungry does a grown man have to be, to thank someone for listen to him? I'm not talking about food. I am talking about human connection. As he mentioned in his story to me about the family that got him dinner and the 20.00. He said what meant the most, was that they talked and listened to him. Again I thought, how hungry? 

I see this all too often in my practice. A woman {or man} comes into my office and talks about their infidelity. When I dig a little deeper into their transgression, the source many times is that their spouse stopped listening to them. The result, they grow a connection to someone that does, and eventually that intimacy gets expressed in a physical manner. 

"Spoken word is nourishment."

We are becoming a world without listening. We rarely talk, we text. We abbreviate these text conversations. We eventually grow into the one word reply. No wonder this man was so grateful to the little boy. No wonder why the little boy wanted to be with him. There was a connection. They talked, but more importantly they listened. Spoken word is nourishment. And without it we go hungry. How hungry? Only time will tell.