How Human Design Helped Me Let Go of FOPO and Transform My Coaching

Have you ever felt trapped by the need to prove yourself—whether at work, on the court, or even in your own family? This started early in childhood for me as the people-pleasing oldest daughter of five kids, and then again it was me at 18 when I started coaching volleyball as a collegiate athlete. I wanted so badly to be liked by my players, impress the parents, and prove myself to my club directors. I thought if everyone approved of me, I’d finally feel valued and like I belonged.

That pressure stayed with me for years. I constantly second-guessed my decisions, overthought my strategies, and worried about whether I was “enough.” Some of this came from my childhood experiences, and some from my undefined ego center in Human Design—a part of me that always felt like I had to prove my worth.

It wasn’t until I discovered Human Design that everything changed. Understanding my unique blueprint helped me let go of the Fear of Other People’s Opinions (FOPO), a concept developed by sports psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais, and step into my role as a coach and leader with confidence.

How Fear of Opinions Held Me Back as a Young Coach

In those early years of coaching, FOPO was a constant weight on my shoulders. I wanted to be the coach who made everyone happy. But staying true to myself, while also trying to please everyone often led to self-doubt and burnout.

Looking back, I realize how much energy I wasted worrying about things I couldn’t control—what others thought about my decisions, whether I was doing enough, or how I compared to other coaches. FOPO not only held me back, but it also kept me from showing up fully for my athletes.

The Human Design Insights That Changed Everything

When I discovered Human Design, it felt like a light bulb switched on. Everything about myself—my struggles, my strengths, and my purpose—suddenly made sense. Here’s what I learned:

• I’m a Projector Energy Type - As a Projector, my gift is to guide others, not to overdo or try to match the energy of Generators and Manifesting Generators. This gave me permission to focus on what I do best: offering insights, creating strategy, helping my athletes unlock their potential, and learning to honor my need for rest.

• My 2/4 Profile - The “2” in my profile represents my natural gifts, while the “4” reminds me that I thrive on building relationships and connecting with others. This explained why networking and learning from my environment always felt natural to me. Embracing these traits helped me stop trying to “earn” my place and start celebrating the value I bring as both a coach and a mentor.
• My Splenic Authority - With a Splenic Authority, my instincts are my superpower. Before Human Design, I overthought every decision, always trying to make the “perfect” choice. Now, I trust my intuition, knowing it’s guiding me toward what’s aligned—even if others don’t always understand it. Random serving sub idea during a match, do it! Feel the need to take a time out, take it. These are just a couple examples of decisions that I strive to stay in the moment for as a coach.
• My Defined Throat Center - One of the most empowering aspects of my chart is my defined throat center, which is tied to communication and leadership. It confirmed something I’d felt but often doubted: I have a natural ability to inspire and lead through my words.

Together, these insights painted a clear picture of someone who is perfectly equipped to guide, coach, and lead—not just on the volleyball court but in every area of life. And that doesn’t even take into consideration my Incarnation Cross, the Right Angle Cross of the Unexpected 2, which signifies that I am here to take on a leadership role rather unexpectedly. That’s the energy I carry, and at some point, I will inevitably find myself in the spotlight. Understanding this has helped me prepare for the responsibility that comes with it, embracing opportunities to lead and guide others while staying grounded in my unique strengths and purpose. This realization has given me the confidence to step into leadership roles with trust and alignment, knowing I’m designed for these moments.

Why I Created Alchemy for Athletes and Coaches

The alchemy I’ve achieved through Human Design has been nothing short of life-changing. It’s not only helped me let go of FOPO and trust myself but also prepared me to embrace the leadership roles I’m naturally designed to step into—often unexpectedly. Understanding that I carry the energy to guide and lead, even when the spotlight finds me unplanned, has given me the confidence to show up authentically for my athletes, my business, and my family. It’s this alignment with my Design that has empowered me to create meaningful connections and inspire others to do the same.

But I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Too many athletes, parents, and coaches feel trapped by the need to please others or meet impossible expectations, much like I once did. The journey to embracing my Human Design and stepping into alignment has been so transformative that I felt called to share these tools and insights with others. That’s why I created Alchemy for Athletes and Coaches—to help others break free from these limiting cycles, embrace their unique energy, and confidently step into their own power. Whether you’re an athlete striving for authentic performance, a coach navigating the complexities of leadership, or a parent seeking to support your child’s growth, AAC offers the guidance and resources to unlock your potential and create meaningful, aligned connections.

At Alchemy for Athletes and Coaches, we use Human Design to help:

• Coaches build self-awareness, develop authentic leadership styles, and foster deeper connections with their athletes.
• Athletes discover their strengths, communication styles, trust their instincts, and perform with confidence.
• Parents support their children in ways that align with their unique energy and potential.

By embracing your Human Design, you can release the weight of FOPO and create a life and career that feel aligned, purposeful, and fulfilling.

How You Can Start Your Journey

If you’re ready to let go of FOPO and step into alignment, I’d love to help guide you! Visit BeBetter.Life to learn more about Alchemy for Athletes and Coaches and explore resources to guide you on this journey.

And as we head into the holidays—a season when FOPO often hits hardest—remember this: Your worth isn’t determined by what others think. It’s defined by how aligned you are with your unique gifts and purpose. Check out the latest BeBetter.Life blog on the topic: HERE.

Let’s Connect!

Have you experienced FOPO in your career, family, or personal life? Let’s start a conversation—share your story in the comments, or message me directly. And if you’re curious about your own Human Design, let’s connect on a free Discovery Call - HERE.

Together, we can create a world where coaches, athletes, and parents thrive—not by living for others’ opinions, but by living true to themselves.