How to be honest with (and about) yourself

I'm writing this having just come off stage at?Leeds Playhouse after delivering a keynote to 450 everyday heroes in post-16 education. It's?my?final keynote of eight in the last two weeks including one in Amsterdam, two virtual and the rest in the north of England.

Usually, my team don't?book?more than one in person keynote a week?but with?events?rescheduled?from lockdown and?me taking the entire?summer holidays off from speaking, it's been a busy June!

I LOVE what I do and the best part is?connecting?with people after they have heard me speak. Whenever someone mentions the word 'inspirational' I thank them and then ask what?I've?inspired them to do. (I used to ask what's your main takeaway?until?one guy started to?panic?and blurted out, "I guess it's got to be Indian.")

Over the last two weeks I've had?amazing?conversations. It's humbling to have people share their?thoughts and?reframe their negative 'Should Stories' right there in front of me.

My keynotes are always created bespoke in line with what the organiser?wants?their audience to?say, do, think?and?feel?after the event but they are all built around a central theme - Being human first and professional second. Or as I like to call it, The Human?Revolution! ?

Professional vulnerability and personal authenticity are powerful currencies in life and business.?

Before I set off on my tour,?I exercised my professional vulnerability by taking part in a stand-up comedy writing course run by?Lynne Parker?of?Funny Women. In the world of stand up, there is literally nowhere to hide!

One activity was complimenting someone else's work and then ‘bragging’ about yourself.?

Most of the women found it hard to tell the truth about themselves. Some mentioned that they felt uncomfortable and even when they said something they felt the need to play it down or justify it.?

I hit the ground running?with “I’m a phenomenal human female…” as I’m a firm believer in the fact that it's not bragging if it's true!

At the end of my turn, my partner?asked me. "Do you practice that?”

I don't but I am intentional about standing on the truth about who I am. I’m a reformed self-doubting believer of my inner critic. Not only did that generally suck it was a life based on lies!

Here’s how I made the switch to owning my own story…

1. Identify the THOUGHTS and FEELINGS?

Your life to this moment is full of Should Stories. These are formed from parenting, education, gender, race, class and a myriad of other determiners. As a working-class kid from an under-resourced council estate, my theme tune of ‘People like me don't do things like that’ formed when I found myself in foster care and attending a middle-class and affluent school. I failed to update my story and carried that thought/feeling well into adulthood.

2. Watch your WORDS and ACTIONS

You’re leaking! What you think and feel is demonstrated by what you say and do. Even if you’ve long forgotten the original trigger, you act your Year 7 lie of ‘I’m crap at maths’ by avoiding anything with numbers like the plague! Listen to yourself, or better still ask someone who knows you to tell you the negative things you’ve said about yourself this week. They will have a list!

3. Create your HABIT and DESTINY

The great news about habits is that they can be broken. Your past does not have to be a script for your future. Choose the elements of your character that you are ready to unsubscribe from and hit the button! Use the phrase:

‘Up until now I <insert negative statement>.?

From now on <insert mindset shift>’

I wish I could tell you that it's easy. I’ve done (and continue to do) the work required to show up as my full-fat self at work and in life. What I can promise you is that kicking your Should Stories to the kerb is 100% worth it!?

Feeling 10% BRAVER, ready to be a FEAR FIGHTER and own your new RESILIENCE NINJA status as a POSITIVE DISRUPTOR? Great. Here’s a 10% off voucher (valid for one week only!) for your very own T-Shirt of Truth. Choose your truth and the discount will be applied automatically at the checkout.

Simple!

https://store.jazampawfarr.com/discount/The-Truth-About-Me