How To Hold Up Your End Of The Bargain

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This is The Midlife Male Newsletter where each Sunday I share a few things that are on my mind, a new episode of the podcast and three Midlife Male Approved things I’m into; like great books, recovery tech, training gear, other experts that had a big impact on my life and more.

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Alright...Here we go

Are You Holding Up Your End Of The Bargain?

Guys, let’s get real direct this week.?Your wives want you to be better. They want you to be healthier, happier, live longer, stronger and wealthier and show up better for yourself and for your family.

And guess what your wives are doing??They're out there exercising.?They're looking better. They're acting better. They're eating better and living their best lives.?I'm seeing it every day in my own house and in every gym and studio I go to.??

You’re providing the lifestyle and they're living it man.?They're running their race.?

And you know what? They want the guy that they married back. They want the real you back.??

It’s not the money or the yellow Porsche or the shit you can afford.?It’s not seeing you in your oversized button down shirt; the kind where you roll up the sleeves and it has a different pattern underneath it. Throw those fucking things out. It's not going to fix it. It's not going to be enough.?

They don't want to have to lift up your gut to find your dick underneath when having sex. That’s not doing it for them.?Remember, there’s two of you in this bed together.?They’ve got to wake up next to you and go to sleep in the same bed as you every night.?

So trust me on this one.?They want you to be better.?Happier, healthier, fitter, stronger and more fun...Which results in more (and better) sex.?

Because it’s a win for everyone.??

And you know how I know this??I know this because they're the ones that are reaching out to me.?(AND THIS WAS NOT MY INTENDED AUDIENCE!)?

It’s your wives and your partners who are calling me to say?"Can you help my husband??

He's not happy.?

He's not the same guy.?

I want him to be happier.?

He's overworked.?

He's stressed out.?

He's not in the shape that he used to be in.?

He’s stopped caring about the way he looks and dresses.?

He's doing well at work and providing and thinks that, that's all that we want/expect from him but it's not.?

What we really want is that we want him back.?

We want him around.?We want him to be present.?

We do not want to see him out of shape or unhealthy.?

I’ll give you an example.?I’m sure you’ve all seen these vacation pics on Facebook or IG. Here's the beautiful family. Okay, the kids look great. The wife looks really great. And then there's the guy.??

Comparatively speaking, the guy’s not holding up his end of the bargain.?And this is not about being a male fitness model or having a six pack. The guy just doesn't look like he's prioritized himself.?

He may be doing an ok job elsewhere and for everyone else but what about the man in the mirror? What about the man in the picture??When do you start caring about him??Putting him first??

And that's not selfish.?

What's selfish is leaving your family early.?

What's selfish is being unhealthy.?

What’s selfish is not having the energy to coach your kids teams and go out and play with them, climb that mountain, swim in the ocean and be too tired for any of that.?

Or because you're choosing to sit over on that lounge chair and have that drink with the fruity umbrella or you're simply too hungover from the night before.?

This is not about giving up any of that stuff either.?You actually don't have too.?There's a couple of things called moderation and prioritization that can really do wonders for a living a successful lifestyle.??

Balance is bullshit.?We can take that off the table right now, but it IS about putting things in perspective and achieving total life wellness.?

What it's NOT about is over indexing in one or two areas of your life and letting everything else fall apart.?

It's about turning those F’s into A's; Family, Fitness, Finance, Food, Fashion & Fun.?

And maybe you don’t need to be a straight A student. That's fine.?

But knowing what is important and what your priorities are is crucial to achieving success.??

Maybe a B is fine in fitness, that's cool.?

Maybe you’ve got finances covered comfortably.?

It’s really about what your life portfolio looks like.?

If you took inventory and looked at your personal pie chart,?how would you feel about it???

And when you look at it, are you going??"Okay? Yeah, I can live with that. That's what I want."

Or are you looking at it and going?"Oh, shit, I'm 90 over here and I'm 10 for all these other things".?

Or, you come to realize that when you look at it in the aggregate you’re an overall C student.?And what does "C" mean??It?means average.?

Are you okay with being average? With being mediocre? If you are okay with it then hey, that’s on you.??

I'm not.?

I don't think you should be either.?

I believe we each have the opportunity to create our own definition of a high performance lifestyle.?

We get to (not have to) create our own mantra, mission statement and measure of success.?

And it takes help to figure all of that out and what that means for each and every one of us.?

But I can tell you this much; your wives and your partners want you to be better.?

They want you to make that investment.?

They want you to show up.?

They want that return on investment.?

They've invested in you.?

You investing in YOU is YOU reinvesting in them.?

So what happens when you start listening to your wives and to that voice inside your head and start putting yourself first and when you start prioritizing health and fitness, and giving a shit about how you look naked, how you dress, how you present yourself and how you show up everyday???

Everything gets better.?

You're happier, you're healthier, you're getting laid more, you're having more fun, you're earning more money, people look at you differently,?you perform differently and you act differently.?

That's what happens.?

And I know it works.?

I speak from experience and straight from the heart.?

Because if it’s happening for me, then it can happen for YOU.??

In Health -?

G

Brian Mazza is a father, husband, and entrepreneur with a background in hospitality and fashion.?

He’s also a former D1 soccer player and a fitness icon who has appeared on the cover of Men’s Health magazine and collaborated with numerous high-profile fashion brands.?

In 2020, Brian founded High-Performance Lifestyle Training, a fitness company dedicated to maximizing human potential through health, wellness, and community.?

Link to the full episode?HERE.

Three Things I'm into

ESQUIRE?- Just read this article in ESQUIRE,?It's well?written?and solid perspective. I’d be interested in how this is being perceived and landing with midlife males? I’m also curious as to how this would go over with women if a man wrote a piece about his 50 year old wife.?It's called?"My Aging Husband -?A lament and an ode to the 50-something man in my house".??I have a man in my house, and he’s been aging for a long time now—I want to say 50-odd years. In my understanding, this aging process was supposed to refine all of his flavors, making him more robust yet more patient, more tenacious yet more caring. And while I have observed a notable uptick in tenderness and affection, I was under the impression, based on the novels I’ve read and the movies I’ve seen, that he’d become increasingly independent and bold and courageous over time. This has not been my experience with the man in my house.

Cameo?-??Hear me out on this one.?I didn't think much of Cameo when I first heard about it but now I think it's a really fun way to share messages and do something unique for a friend, loved one and/or special occasion.?We just had one done for a friends wedding and it turned out great and they loved it.??Cameo is where you connect with your favorite stars access thousands of celebrities and request a personalized video message for any occasion.

The Future; Nathaniel Rateliff?-?Got good feedback on recommending music as too many of us midlife males are stuck on the stuff we grew up with (not that there's anything wrong with that) and just like with life, we're looking a little somethin' fresh, current and interesting. Nathaniel Rateliff is spectacular.?Check out his new album, along with his prior work.??

The brands and partners I truly believe in are on my?https://midlifemale.com/special-offers/?page If & when you're gonna buy, this is where I spend my money and have seen results.?I talk and write about the same stuff constantly because it works and because they all fit the three principles above.?I encourage you to support them as well.