How To Help A Child With OCD In 5 Steps
Julie Derrick
Childhood OCD : I help parents and schools figure out ways to support a child with OCD and anxiety??The Mind Monsters Books ???? The Parenting OCD in Teens and Tweens Handbook
"Your daughter has severe OCD".
Just 5 words, but coming from a health professional, they were enough to make my heart sink.
How could such a popular, funny, and kind child, develop such a debilitating illness?
Without me even noticing...
And one that I could have inadvertently passed on to her, due to my own OCD traits.
This has to be one of the bitterest pills that I have ever had to swallow, and one of the toughest battles that I have ever had to face as a parent.
But it's surprising what strength you can inwardly have when it comes to supporting a child with an illness
And what wonderful things it can lead to when you come out the other side...including jumping way out of your comfort zone to publish two children's books, (that I had no plans to publish), and OCD workshops.
All in the name of raising awareness of child OCD
So, what steps can you take as a parent, guardian, or teacher, to tackle child OCD?
The first step is to confirm whether a child actually has OCD.
Some clues to look out for include:
Looking out for a pattern within a child's behaviour. Is there a set pattern for when and how they are doing something?
For example: Tapping a specific number of times, wiping things down in a certain way, or seeming pre-occupied in their thoughts, at a specific time e.g., before or during school time, or after being out.
If you are concerned that a child does indeed have OCD, you need to then seek professional help
Sadly, getting therapy for your child can take a long time.
So, what can you do in the meantime to help your child?
The next step is to start communicating with them.
How and when you communicate with a child with OCD, is crucial.
You will need to decide on a time and a place when they are most likely to be more relaxed.
And to then gently 'probe' into their anxiety issues.
Ask "what" they fear, rather than "why"they fear it, as using 'why" can put a child on the defensive, whereas asking 'what', invites them to open up more.
Using a self-talk approach can be powerful: questions such as:
"What do you think, deep down..."
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Avoid referring to OCD as 'their' OCD, as OCD is separate from them.
Also, avoid using the word 'can't' do something relating to OCD. Replace it with 'won't' instead, as they can do it, it's more a case of avoiding doing it.
3. Separate OCD from your child
As touched on in the previous step, it is really important to separate OCD from your child.
Naming OCD can be an effective way of doing this.
I named OCD, Hank.
Other suggestions could be:
Getting your child to create their own name or character for OCD, will help to get them engaged with tackling OCD, and will also start separating OCD, from them.
When the child then asks for reassurance, it becomes a bit easier to refuse, by saying that you're not prepared to have a conversation with 'Hank'.
4. Start using Exposure Therapy
Once you have:
The next step of the process is to start using ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy, which in a nutshell is exposing a child to their biggest fears, without carrying out subsequent compulsions.
The way that we approached this was to:
5. Distract and Reward
Using distraction and rewards within therapy can help to get a child on board with exposure therapy. Mutually decide on a 'reward' to celebrate any tasks successfully achieved and write and draw the reward, next to the item on the list.
Being exposed to OCD issues can be very stressful for a child, that's why using distraction, during therapy, can make the process a bit more doable.
Distractions could include:
More tips and advice on supporting a child with OCD can be found on my blog: