How to help an anxious child under 7 feel calm in time for Christmas

The world can be a scary place even for adults, so it's no surprise that sometimes certain events, circumstances or incidents can lead to a young child feeling anxious too. Most of the time when a child is anxious, they can be soothed, reassured and comforted until the feelings of anxiety go away. But sometimes a child can start to feel anxious on a regular basis. This might be because someone is bullying them at school or they have a teacher that talks to them in a certain way. It could be because of tension and uncertainty in the family home. Whatever the reason is, using the bedtime story technique can help release all those fears and worries and help the child to manage stress and deal with setbacks in a more resilient way.

The technique is a simple one and taps into something we naturally do with children - telling stories. But this is a specific story with a particular intention delivered at a specific time.

For best results, this story technique should be used in the 10-15 minute window immediately AFTER your child has fallen asleep.?

In this hugely under-utilised, but precious period of time, the subconscious mind of the child is still listening while the more questioning, logical part of the mind is getting that all-important rest.?

The subconscious mind often responds well to repetition, so for optimal results repeat the same story (minor variations are fine) in the same time period for 14 consecutive nights in the lead-up to Christmas.

You may notice changes in your child's behaviour, attitude and confidence in just a few short days, but like a prescription from the doctors, it's best to complete the 14-day programme.

Now we have our specific time and our programme length, let's dive into the nuts and bolts...

The story will require a little imagination, but there are a few key elements:

• A character
• A plot
• The overcoming of a challenge with resources
• Key phrases

The Story

Use a theme and character that aligns with something they already like and enjoy. For example, if your child really likes Spiderman, then it would serve you well to create a similar all-action character.

The plot must see the character come up against a challenge, difficulty or setback of some kind.

When the character faces this challenge, the character initially struggles.

But in the face of this struggle, the character is able to tap into their own resources and inner capabilities to navigate through the struggle and come out the other side in style.

To help this transformation, it's often helpful for the main character of the story to meet a wise guide, a mentor or a friendly face who can share advice and tips - wisdom -?to help our protagonist overcome their challenges. If magic is part of your child's life, meeting a wizard to cast a spell is a great thing too.

Using a guide or mentor also creates the opportunity to insert key phrases into the story as the guide is sharing them directly with the main character. For example, let's say a young girl is struggling with going to school because one of the other girls in the class is being mean to her, which is causing anxiety on the way to school.?

Our character will go through their adventure and encounter someone who speaks to them in a nasty or angry way. When the character comes to speak to the guide, you can quote the guide directly...

Then the guide said to the Princess "You can feel calm and relaxed on the way to school"

And after a few more sentences...

"You can smile and breathe through mean words and stay calm and comfortable"

Embedding these positive phrases and suggestions ingrains them in the story which allows them to fit in seamlessly and create new associations in the subconscious mind.

As the story moves toward its conclusion, our hero - with the help of the wise guide - overcomes their challenges and achieves the desired end state. Oftentimes this will be feelings such as:

• Calm
• Relaxed
• Confident
• Comfortable
• Resilient

When our story of trouble to triumph - complete with embedded positive phrases - is delivered during the special window of time just after bed for 14 consecutive days, their young mind will be able to piggyback on that story, tap into their own inner resources to feel calmer and more confident in time for Christmas.

#mentalhealth #storytelling #thetraumaexpert #psychology?