How to Help an Angry Client
Linda Kroll
Founder @ Compassionate Communication Academy | Compassionate Mediation?, Compassionate Communication and Conflict Resolution, Relationship Healing, Continuing Education Credits - Training for Professionals
If you are a therapist or coach or work with individuals or couples in conflict...
What do you do when someone in your office just wants to vent, just wants to be angry, just wants to spew?
And especially if they're in there with their partner and they don't let their partner get a word in, they just want to vent.
What do you do?
Take a deep breath with me here.
It's often triggering to us as practitioners to have someone in front of you that does not want to listen to reason, does not want to listen at all.
They just want to vent.
Here are three things you can do.
(1) Work with the Angry Person
If you have a different space or up you're on zoom, send their partner to a different room and work with the person who is so full of rage.
You can help them understand that underneath their rage, anger, venting, the list of things that are fueling their anger - there are are many, many things that they're hurt about.
You witnessed their pain with compassion. You use words like, "I see how hurt you are." You allow them time to share and to calm down a little bit before you put them back in the room with their partner.
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(2) Work with their Partner
Another thing you could do is go to the partner and make sure that they are resilient enough to understand that this is an angry part of their partner that needs to be witnessed and understood.
You help this person see that underneath the anger is a very hurt part that needs to be seen and acknowledged.
(3) Put them back together
Have them take a breath and see if the angry person can speak for their hurt instead of from their anger.
They can bring more higher SELF energy into the discussion. They won't have to be so angry and then their partner can listen without judgment, defensiveness, or debate.
There can be more understanding and compassion. Their partner can begin to truly understand the pain, show some empathy, and begin to make amends for any pain that they have caused.
It may work the first time but you may have to practice it more than once.
Please join me at my certification information call coming soon, and I look forward to staying connected.