How to have performance conversations without upsetting anyone

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This is one of the main reasons people avoid performance conversations. They are so worried that they will upset the person, that the person will cry, that they will stop working altogether, that they will hate them - that they decide it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

And then they come to a coaching session with me, desperate to do something about the situation and when I ask them how long the situation has been going on, they say:

“Oh, for the last year or so…”

What?!?!?!

Even if in your situation, it’s only been a few weeks, I strongly urge you to keep on reading.

In my experience, there is some flawed thinking going on here…

1. You are not in control of someone else’s feelings.

If they get upset, you cannot control that. All you can do is influence how they will feel with how you communicate

1. Managing performance is not “telling anyone off”.?

This is something that you need to do as a manager or leader in order to HELP the other person develop and grow

1. Ignoring it won’t make it go away

In fact it will only make it worse!! When you do eventually say something (or get someone else to!) the person is more than likely going to be confused and even hurt, as you didn’t let them know about it and helped them move through the issue or change something in a timely way.

So, take your position as a manager or leader seriously (which I know you do or you wouldn’t be reading this!) and do the following:

1. Give feedback in a timely fashion

Performance management is not something you do once or twice a year in a review. It’s something you do day in and day out.? Catch people doing things well and let them know and if you spot something that isn’t good or appropriate, let them know as soon as possible also. It will make so much more sense to them as you will come with clear examples that have just happened.

1. Give clear examples and reasons

“When you do this, it creates…” and so on.? Keep it impersonal, make it about behaviour and ensure you are super clear.? Let the person know what the outcome is that you are looking for and then work with them to help them figure out how to get there and what needs to change.

1. Review in an agreed timescale

Make sure that you agree when you will come back to it to check how things are going. If more support is needed, give it and if the issue has been resolved, or challenge overcome, say it.

As a leader or manager YOU have a responsibility for helping your team evolve and individuals grow. Managing performance is the bedrock of this.

Go be the best leader they’ve had.

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??About Sonia Gavira??

Sonia Gavira MBA, PCC?is a leadership and executive coach, consultant and Certified Practitioner in Brain and Behaviour Change and Master Practitioner in NLP. Coming from a strong commercial background in marketing to Marketing Director level. Sonia has spent more than 20 years working with Executives, Directors and Managers in organisations helping them lead themselves, their teams and their organisations successfully.

Today Sonia’s interest lies in helping leaders embrace a new style of leadership that allows people to be themselves and embrace compassion, care and kindness as well as strength, power and decisiveness - polarities that too often drive leaders one way or the other. This has lead her to be involved in a number of programmes helping women ask for and progress to senior roles within organisations, and do so in a way that balances all aspects of their life.Sonia is also an expert in motivation, enabling individuals, teams and organisations to tap into what will drive them to peak performance.

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