How have I coped with stress/anxiety?

This answer is a two-parter.

First, it’s to help people understand how someone (me) deals with anxiety once they’ve realized they’re suffering from it. The second part is my go-to technique for reducing anxiety. I recommend you read all of this.

I spent eighteen years of my life living with anxiety.

From anti-everything drugs to psychiatrists to YOU NAME IT, anxiety has approximately too many ways of being treated. After several thousands of dollars, and an uncomfortable number of hours, here’s how I dealt with it:

I called it various things such as eating disorders, personality traits, digestive issues, fear and/or life. Not once did I acknowledge I was stressed or that I had anxiety. The fact that you’ve acknowledged that you have anxiety is a bigger step in your personal process of overcoming it than you think. Well played!

It wasn’t until my late twenties that I felt as though I was finally getting my sh*t together. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I started evaluating everything in my life. The process was frustrating, to say the least.

I spent my early twenties working in corporate sales as a Type A individual that couldn’t get enough of the fast pace industry that I worked in. I utilized the adrenaline I had pumping through me and turned it into a positive.

At 25, everything changed. I went from being super productive and an efficient machine, functioning with only 5 - 6 hours of sleep a night, exercising six days a week and routinely working twelve plus hours, to not being able to get out of bed. My digestive system was unable to function properly. My joints swelled. My face became riddled with cold sores. And I was miserable.

This is real… REALLY real…

I spent three years looking for that “magic solution”. That pill, that diagnosis, that miracle. I had to find a way to reverse the slow deterioration of my body.

There wasn’t one. (I know this doesn’t sound helpful, but I promise I’m getting there)

After years of denying the effects that stress and anxiety had on my body, I made learning about it my sole focus. I looked at how I viewed work, relationships, diet, exercise and life in general. There was work to be done and, based on the severity of anxiety you’re facing, there will be some work in store for you, as well.

I spent the next few years developing and refining techniques to help break the cycle of stress and anxiety. I created practical tools that, to this day, help keep stress and anxiety to a minimum. I’d like to share my first technique with you.

The information above is meant to give you an idea of what you’re facing. When someone says they want to overcome stress or anxiety, it’s important to understand that effort is required. That sounds silly, but you’d be surprised at how many people want that quick fix.

Below, I’ll give you one of my favorite techniques. It’s the first step in dealing with anxiety. Please feel free to contact me for more help, though! I don’t want anyone to experience what I did and I’m happy to help :)

Here’s what it means to deal with Annie:

I hope you’ve spent a lot of time stepping back from your current situation to consider what your problems are. From bad relationships to being overworked, anxiety is done to you by external forces. A lot of people assume that anxiety occurs within the body. Based on what I’ve discovered over the years, that’s only about 25% correct.

These external forces happen and your body reacts to it accordingly.

The first step in dealing with stress is to understand that stress and anxiety are happening to you. You need to separate yourself from your anxiety:

Part 1:

To start, I want you to think about your best friend… Yeah, yeah I know that might sound weird but I want you to think about your best friend.

Do they give you amazing advice?

Advice on relationships? Diet? Work? Life?

Sometimes their advice is simple:

Yes, eat that.

No, don’t text that boy/girl back.

Other times their advice is crucial:

You’ve lost a loved one and they are there to help you get through that period.

My best friend growing up was Annie.

She was responsible for much of the advice I received. Advice that put me in these situations:

-Feeling sheer panic every time I left my house.

-The inability to communicate my feelings to important people in my life.

-Because of her, I ended up with an eating disorder that lasted seven years.

-Because of her, even the most mundane tasks would cause sheer panic: going for a walk, driving to work or even just answering a phone call.

What a great best friend I had.

Now, if you haven’t guessed, Annie wasn’t a real friend.

She was anxiety. (Get it? “Annie”..? “Anxiety”..? I’m so imaginative)

It wasn’t until later in life that I was able to personify my anxiety into Annie as a way to separate anxiety from myself. I created anxiety into an entity.

To me, she’s this annoying, whiny, petulant toddler that is constantly seeking my attention.

Don’t look at this picture too long… she’ll eat your soul.

Your turn

1. Visualize your own Anxiety. Give it a face, a personality and name.

2. Describe your “Annie” to yourself (is she tall? short? annoying? pedantic? old? young? human? animal? plant…? Perhaps an ex boyfriend/girlfriend?)

3. Optional: Share! Showing others and communicating your anxieties is very helpful!

Now we have a face, a personality and a name for our own anxiety.

This is the first step in dealing with your anxiety. Every time you get that sensation of terror, step back, realize why anxiety is happening to you and separate yourself from it in the form of your own personal Annie. There are several more steps, but this is the most important if you want to move forward.

If you’re looking for more steps, I’d be more than happy to help! I hope you can begin to minimize anxiety in your life and good luck!

Katie Maycock