HOW TO HAVE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS IN THE WORKPLACE

Welcome

I welcome you to the Maiden edition of MAVERICK MUSINGS. This platform will engage every subscriber on issues germane to the stated focus of this newsletter. The world is changing so fast. Ideas, theories, processes in daily function that used to be held sacrosanct are evolving at a dizzying pace. In the words of Andy Grove, former CEO of Intel Corporation, it appears that "only the paranoid survive"! This is however balanced by the wisdom of A.L. Williams, Founder and CEO of Primerica Financial Services when he said "All you can do is all you can do" And I add, "as long as you are sure that that is all you can do"!

This newsletter will address issues, challenge paradigms, propound novel ideas, promote learning and provoke robust discussions on issues raised. Enjoy our debut article.

• HOW TO HAVE DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS IN THE WORKPLACE - 1 'Tope Popoola

We usually don't feel comfortable about them but no matter how much we try to avoid them, if you are a Team Lead, Manager, employer, employee or even parent, you will be involved in difficult conversations either as the initiator of such conversations or as the subject of discourse. As an employer or HRM, do you recall when you had to explain to someone why their services would no longer be required or why they lost a promotion, or even something as simple as a verbal warning? These are aspects of the HR function that no average HR person is comfortable doing and I daresay this is the dimension of the HR function that has literally demonized HR Managers. Yet from time to time, these conversations are necessary.

What makes the conversations difficult? First, as much as practicable, many of us would rather avoid conflict than confront it. Badly handled, such conversations could cause sparks to fly on both sides, resulting in the exchange of unpleasant words that could cause emotional upsets. Second, we don't like to be misunderstood. People hear as they are, not necessarily as is said. Consequently, Managers sometimes find themselves in the bind of knowing what to say but not knowing how to say it in such a way that the intended message is understood and received with no hard feelings by the person they need to have a conversation with. Third, the Manager is literally having to walk on eggshells because he wants to come out of the conversation as being likeable, smelling like a rose and unwilling to ruffle feathers. In actual fact, his primary consideration is that he would not want to leave the conversation with a bruised ego arising from possible negative reactions and insults if the tone of the conversation goes negative.

Difficult conversations become necessary when a particular employee or member of a team appears to be consistently deviating from the corporate vison, especially when such deviance is beginning to affect morale in the team/organization. Even when the affected person is a top performer, going rogue undermines cohesion and the team's collective outcomes. Whenever performance falls consistently below KPIs, it is the signal for such conversation. Furthermore, conversations, even difficult ones could arise from racial, cultural or diversity issues. An underperforming team member or employee who is of a different skin colour from his superior may play the race card when confronted with his shortcomings. When issues as sensitive as race, tribe, culture begin to arise and play dominant roles in the processes of corporate function, Managers must step in and nip them in the bud before they fester. The purpose of such intervention is to redirect everyone's focus to the overarching collective outcomes/goals and the inherent strength in diversity as the team moves to accomplish those outcomes. One other area that necessitates conversations no matter how tough, is when a team member is seen to be constantly in the sand-paper mode in his relationship with other members of the team. In a team, ego is subordinated to purpose. But some people have a short fuse and fly off the handle with minimum provocation or when things don't go their way. Temperament issues must be addressed before they become toxic to the establishment. Conflicts are part of the everyday reality of corporate processes and functions. They can only be managed, not avoided. One of the most effective ways a Manager can deal with conflict is to be willing to have conversations around them even when such conversations are far from being comfortable.

How can we conduct difficult conversations? How do we disagree without being disagreeable? Next week, I will be sharing TEN things the Manager must equip himself with before andd while engaging in unavoidable but uncomfortable conversations in the workplace. Till then...

Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!