How to Have the *Best* First Year Ever

My five year-old, Grayson, recently began kindergarten. He held wide-ranging emotions as he considered what exactly it would mean to be a kindergartener and where this new adventure would lead. As a parent you do what you can to prepare your child for such transitions and my wife and I found ourselves wondering if he was truly ready – intellectually, physically, emotionally. Our job was to show nothing but absolute confidence in his ability to successfully navigate this new environment. Internally, I couldn’t help but wonder if his inability to correctly use gender pronouns, habit for surreptitiously picking his nose, or tendency to melt down at the prospect of no dessert would somehow doom him to educational and social failure. As he began his first day, Grayson made his way into his new classroom brimming with excitement. Did I sit in my car afterwards, watch old videos of him as a toddler, and cry? Yes. Yes I did.

Grayson’s first day of school closely coincided with the anniversary of my first year at my current organization. I’ve had a wonderfully-fulfilling first year and I couldn’t help but wonder if some of the lessons I have learned could apply to Grayson as he attempts to have a great kindergarten year. If you are an ascending leader, taking a role with a new organization or entering into leadership for the first time, you may be able to benefit from my experience as well. So, here are three tips to having a great first year.

Lesson 1: Purposefully Connect

As Grayson and I sat on the bench outside of his class on his first day of school, I could see that his nerves and fears were beginning to get to him. I asked him “are you feeling anxious?” He said, “Dad, I’m nervous.” I then asked him what he was most excited about and he replied “P.E. and music.” (His excitement for P.E. will likely diminish as he learns he inherited very little in the way of athletic ability from his parents.) I then asked him what made him the most nervous, to which he responded “friends.” It was a great opportunity for me to put my arm around him and remind him of the other times he’s had to make new friends, at a new pre-school or when we moved to Colorado and met new people at church and elsewhere. The reminder gave him impetus to engage with these new friends with confidence. Now as he walks into the schoolyard he’s greeted with a chorus of hellos from classmates excited to see him. (A few too many of those hellos, with accompanying hugs and batted eyes, come from some of the girls in his class. We’ve already had a conversation about how girlfriends don’t come into the picture until at least high school – and preferably well into college.)

As you move into your new role, you will be bombarded with the urgency of the work that has been awaiting your arrival. You’ll be understandably excited about this new opportunity and the temptation will be to immediately dive into the work. There may very well be projects that have awaited your start date, critical objectives that need your leadership and attention. All of this is worthwhile and must remain on your radar as you calibrate to your new surroundings and align yourself with the goals of the organization. However, one of the most important things you can do as you move into a new leadership role is spend time connecting with the members of the organization on an individual level.

As I moved into my current role I gave myself a couple of months to focus an outsized portion of my calendar to connecting with individuals. I focused my efforts on my team, those who I was now responsible for leading, as well as my stakeholders, individuals who depended upon or determined the value of the work my team produced. As I engaged with the team I spent a significant amount of time simply striving to understand who they are as individuals. I asked about their career history, their interests outside of work, their ambitions and perspectives about the organization and our work. I gave them the opportunity to ask questions of me, as well as what they’d need from me going forward to be successful. Speaking with my key stakeholders provided a different opportunity to learn. I asked about their teams and responsibilities, the challenges they faced and how they create value for the organization. I asked about the historical work of my team and where we needed to get better. I asked them what success in my role would look like for them, and in what ways I could better support their work. In meeting with both my team and my stakeholders, I did far more listening than talking. When asked about my vision for the future of the team I gave some general thoughts with the acknowledgement that I was still in a data-gathering mode.

Establishing key lines of communication, both internal and external to my team, has proven to be invaluable. From my team I gained a better understanding of our historical context, as well as where they’d like to see us go. From my stakeholders I learned about their needs and expectations, as well as a deeper knowledge of the organization itself. Perhaps most important, however, I established good and fulfilling relationships throughout the organization. Work is a lot more fun when you know and enjoy the people you work with. Taking time to build solid relationships at the outset made the transition into a new role and new organization far easier than if I’d attempted to do so as a lone wolf. Make authentic relationship-building a priority as you move into a new role.

Lesson 2: What Worked Then Might Not Work Now

Grayson’s previous educational experiences, at pre-schools in Oklahoma and Colorado, allowed for a decent amount of schedule flexibility. Anyone who has attempted to get a pre-schooler ready in the morning understands that it is roughly akin to nailing Jell-O to a wall – a futile pursuit bound to leave you frustrated and usually with a mess to clean up later. The average five year-old is in no particular hurry to do anything that he or she isn’t keenly motivated to do, and in the past taking a lackadaisical approach to getting ready and out the door in the morning didn’t bring any significant consequences.

His new school, however, had a far more stringent approach to tardiness. When it was explained to Grayson that he would be required to go to the principals’ office to get a tardy slip if he came in late, he became very motivated to avoid such a scenario. What he lacked, of course, was any process or system for how to successfully get out the door on time. His mom came in to provide a structure that he could follow: next day’s clothes lined up the night before, breakfast that he could make himself already on the table, and deadlines for when he needed to be getting dressed and in the car have all helped to ensure that he can be successful given these new expectations. Now, there are still occasional bouts of recalcitrance. But by and large, Grayson has learned to change his morning habits given his new expectations.

As you move into a new role or new organization, you will naturally be inclined to look to what you’ve always done as a path forward for what you will do next. Your approaches and methodologies, models and processes, have led you to your current success so why would you not continue to put them into practice in your new environment? Indeed, you may rightly believe that you would not have been given this new opportunity were it not for the ways and means you have traditionally employed to get things done.  What we oftentimes fail to appreciate is the role of organizational context and its contribution to our successful approaches of the past. It is no accident that many a college coach has failed miserably as he has attempted to translate his methods and processes to the professional ranks. The context is far different even though the game is the same. Finding yourself unwilling to modify or let go of your tried-and-true methods (because they’ve worked so well in the past!) can oftentimes be a recipe for disaster.

What can be carried over from your previous experiences to your new opportunity are the principles by which you do your work. As I moved into my new role I explored the possibility of bringing in off-the-shelf content providers that I’d successfully implemented in the past. I quickly determined that, even though the content was good, the organization did not have a strong appetite for such an approach. Instead, there is a much stronger tradition of building internally. What I learned is that I could maintain my principles and theories of talent management and place them into the context of my new organization. Being willing to let go of prior process, while simultaneously applying the underlying principles that have fared you so well, will set you up for success as you transition into your new role.

Lesson 3: Know and Set Standards

Grayson has homework every night. We are fortunate in that he is the type that really thrives on positive feedback – gaining an “Outstanding!” stamp on his homework has quickly become his very reason for being. When watching him work on his homework one evening, a penmanship worksheet focused on I think the letter “p,” Grayson erased one attempt and made the comment that “this one isn’t good enough for Miss B.” He had quickly determined what the standards were and was committed to meeting those standards. Of course when he got the worksheet back, it bore an “Outstanding!” at the top of the page.

The very first meeting with my new team I spent time setting standards. Not standards for them but standards and expectations for me. I used a template provided by the very wise Ron Carucci and Eric Hansen in their book “Rising to Power” of key categories of expectation that employees might have. For example, while I couldn’t reasonably set the expectation that I would be available 24/7/365, I could set an expectation that I would be as responsive as possible given the demands of my role and desire to balance work and life. I promised to make it clear how to reach me, how to get time with me, and how to get my input. I also set expectations around owning my mistakes, treating individuals equitably, and transparency in my decision-making. Setting clear standards of my own performance with my team gave them a better understanding of what to reasonably expect, and not expect, from me as a leader.

As a leader in a new role you may feel the natural pull to set very clear expectations of behavior for your new team. There is, without question, a time and a place to set such expectations. Clear expectations, goals, and objectives are key elements of a successful leader-team member relationship. You’ll do much to ensure a smooth transition, however, if you also communicate clear expectations of yourself to your team.

Grayson now likes to say two things to me as I walk out the door. First is “Dad, this is going to be the best day ever.” Second is “Dad, you have a great day, too.” You can string together a years’ worth of great days, making it the best year ever, as you follow these tips in transitioning to your new role. Now just remember to brush your hair on picture day, and be sure to lay out your clothes for tomorrow before you go to bed.