How hatred can be healed

If your head is full of hatred then you are concentrating too much on how to hate. Our human brain is approximately 1.5 kg and our thoughts speeds up to milliseconds, so in reality our brain (your head) is like a super computer. Now if your head is performing just one task (hatred) then it's a waste having a super computer up there. Your life is on monotone (sour tone, if I may). And in anyways, hate is an emotion that only a heart can feel and your brain is being directed to let you act on it.

What makes you feel hatred?! Because of certain things, people, circumstances et al. I too, have those things and I can't control it but I can always choose to think better, react better and feel better! It's easier to preach than to practice! For our mind is like a sponge, absorbing everything and the easiest to feel is hatred and the hardest is compassion. Personally, its hard, very hard to keep that Zen mode on!! But I really don't want to feel and live in monotone.

So everyday I try, some days I fail and some days I do better. But I never forget what triggers me into that mode of hatred, it helps to know the source, to deal with it, to let go. Forgive but never forget and live. Honestly, forgiveness is a life long lesson! Certain things you just have to learn for your own good. My guess would be that you have an amount of free floating anger that manifests as hatred. If the hatred has been relatively short term, less than a month, it will probably dissipate soon. Focus on activities that don't involve people too much. Make yourself get involved even if you don't feel like. Focus your attention away from the things that anger you.

Exercise, deep breathing, and immersing yourself in situations that are interesting, especially if they produce laughter will help to get you physically relaxed. If your hatred/anger has been going on for a long time, things should be addressed more comprehensively. First find someone you can talk to. It might be an intelligent and sympathetic friend, a counselor, minister, and so on. In my youth I went through some horrific times. I got through it in part by realizing that bad as they were, some had it significantly worse. A beggar in a third world country, detainee in prison etc. I told myself I could rise above the people and situations that were making me miserable.

I would decide where to focus my attention. I would decide how I would react to situations. Remaining calm, immobile, and showing no fear can be very effective and impressive. Don't let nasty people control you emotions. They will eventually self destruct on their own. And maybe some of what they are doing is not intentional only misguided. They may even have some good qualities that you can focus. Also remember there are lots of different items in the people store. Some of them are high quality items. Find and spend your time with them.

And so, I doubt we will ever find a cure for hatred. It's a part of multitude of feelings humans are capable of. We can only subdue it. So here's to you and me, hope we both find what we are looking for. The only person that is hurt by your hatred is you. The other person would not be effected at all by it. We can only experience our own reality. I will never known what anyone else thinks or feels. You will never know that either. The only thing I know is my own experience. Same as everyone else. My feelings towards others only effect me.

Here is a simple equation of how to actually effect outcomes in your life. Event + reaction = outcome. Events are thing outside of your control. Reactions are how you feel, think and react to the event. And the outcome is the the result of that. For example. Someone calls you an idiot. Does this effect you negatively or positively? What is the outcome in other words? It depends on your reaction. Or you may think, he/she must be having a bad day, let's change the way I'm interacting with him/her, ease off a bit, and see if I can help in some way. Cheers!

All these reactions would have drastically different outcomes. Now think about how often you have the power to control your reactions?

There are so many thing you can do to get better at controlling your reactions. Meditation, yoga, excercise, psychologists, self help books, motivational speakers, finding a guru, hanging out with positive friends. But most importantly, you must first recognize that you actually have 100% control over the outcomes in your life.

Are you going to spend one extra second wasting it on hating someone? What outcome will that get you? Do you really want that outcome? Or what is a better outcome? Why stick with the hate? Is it pride? Is it ego? Do you wish to hurt the other person? Will those things help you or the other person? Or will it just damage both of you? Do you want to both sink in the ship, while each blaming the other for not bailing the water? Or do you say, fuck it, I'm going to start bailing whether you do or not. I'll save the both of us and when we get to land I'm not going to hang out with you anymore.

Don't carry around hate or blame. The only person you are hurting is yourself. Don't waste anytime being a victim. Start building a positive life and desired outcomes. You can have everything you ever wanted in life, if you just help enough people get what they want.

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