How has motherhood improved my career?

Motherhood takes a toll on your career, no matter how you spin it. There are so many hurdles to jump through - road to parenthood and then pregnancy leave, maternity leave, compensations and bonuses while on said leave, health insurance and schedules once you come back, daycares, nannies and family members, and all the sick leaves that never seem to end, everything comes into play and nothing is off the table. It has been talked and written, more times than I could count, about all the negative impacts a motherhood can have on a woman's career. And they are absolutely extensive. But, there is also another side of the coin, one that isn't so frequently talked about. How much motherhood helps, improves and grows your career. So, let's get straight to it!

A sense of purpose - not at home, but at work!

As a mom obsessed with their precious little first born, whom I occasionally refer to as my heir, I can not stress enough that having a child doesn't give you purpose in life. What has, however, happened to me, is that it has shifted how I see my job. If I am going to be leaving my child in someone else's care, even when he literally begs me not to, then whatever I am doing has to be meaningful. The role and the company itself absolutely needs to have a significant positive impact on the world (Hi, Deel ). What I do in said role has to be important to me, to make me grow, to challenge me, it has to be enjoyable and fulfilling. I have to adore my job, which I do. And last, but not least, it has to bring enough financial stability to my family, that I don't have to worry about our income. I am very picky about what I do now, and with whom, in a way that I never was before.

Efficiency, multitasking, proactivity... No time gets to be wasted.

The only thing that motherhood has taken from my career is time. I never had enough time for all of my ambitions and interests to begin with, but now time is the most precious thing I have. This is why working hours or even number of days have no meaning for me. I measure in output. I strive for maximum efficiency, better organization, learnings that will help me excel in my role, skills that will make time irrelevant when it comes to how I measure my impact at work. I don't have the luxury of dragging a project out. Because we have playdates and walks and adventures to have. I used to work obscene amount of hours. It is funny to me now how I thought that is to be admired. My entire perspective has shifted and now I achieve more with less. Funny how that happens... :)

Patience. Mountain-high and ocean-deep. Patience.

My son has decided he no longer wants to leave daycare. The same day care he refuses to go every morning and then sings about on the road there. He has decided that after I pick him up he is going to take his sweet time and explores his surroundings. And play games. And grab a few toys from the hallway. Our trips home takes about 45 minutes, rather than 9, and they look a bit like this...

The amount of patience it takes me not to push him, not to force him, or do something more drastic, while I, always in a rush, am forced to slow down and smell the roses... That patience and calmness transfers almost directly into work. We are the same people personally and professionally, for better or worse. And he is making me better by pushing my buttons, he is making me more patient by testing the limits every day. My employers and clients should send him a thank you note, because no amount of work, or a course or a book, can teach me in a lifetime what he does in one day.

All work and no play... Jack is a dull boy, indeed.

If you reached out to any of my lifelong friends and asked them to describe me, saying I am fun probably wouldn't be in their description. I was a nerd. Still am. Everything by the book, and a book always close by. I have fun by color coding my calendar. It's fun, I SWEAR! But kids... Oh, man, everything is fun to them. I have rolled on the ground in the middle of the street, kicked a ball embarrassingly bad, danced in supermarkets and drawn animals in purple glitter. Because it makes him laugh. And somehow, along the way, I brought that same sense of fun to work. He brought out a more playful, juvenile, not-so-serious side of me out and, although that came as a shock to me, it made me better at my job. Who knew having fun can be so much fun? Obviously, I was oblivious.

Empathy can't be learned, but it can be experienced.

I saved this last reason for the end, because it makes me all teary-eyed. I always considered myself an emotionally-driven, empathetic human, colleague, friend. But I was also pretty judgmental. I felt like I had it all and dismissed those who weren't performing or achieving at the level I deemed right. It had an impact on my work relationships, as well as personal ones. He humbled me, rapidly, and made me open up and connect on a depper, more embarrassing level. It made me come from my high horse, so to speak. For someone working in a people team, it made a lot of difference. Where I saw excuses or weakness of character I now see someone I can help, who needs and deserves more. Not only help as an individual but help by influencing policies, and laws, and system, by changing minds and perspectives. There was a foundation there before I became a mom, but it's elevated so much now. What has been a hobby, became a purpose.

This is how parents, mothers and fathers, tend to hide their parenthood journeys. Like my son's attempt it's a pretty weak one. You can't and shouldn't hide who you are. But parents are afraid. And out of fear that the impact on their careers are going to be detrimental, they stay almost silent. Fear is that they won't get hired or promoted, they won't be taken into consideration, they will be left out. Everytime when you call in sick because yet another seasonal flu is rummaging around the house, there is that nagging in the back of your head - will I be judged because of this? If we don't want our clients and employers to do so, we have to stop doing it ourselves. We have to embrace our new roles, and set a solid foundations of all the positives. All the pluses, all the magnificent ways parenthoods makes us way better in our jobs. Because there is far more than this five I have listed here. So, tell me... What are yours?