How to be Happier and More Purposeful

A version of this article was first published on Forbes in January 2020 How to be Happier and More Purposeful

I’ve spent the last 16 years working with CEOs and entrepreneurs to help them get clear on their purpose, get great people around them, execute their decisions and enjoy their life in the process.?

The fact that you are reading this indicates that you are purposeful.?The challenge for leaders is how this effectiveness leads to an enhanced quality of life.

How to be happier and more purposeful in 2022 and beyond

Author and Harvard professor David Maister says "success is enjoying your life. If you don’t enjoy what you do, the company of the people you do it with, and the impact you are making in the world… it cannot be considered success.”

A happy life is not the absence of pain. In achieving anything of significance: pain is guaranteed, but misery is optional.?Anyone who has climbed Everest has been through a lot of pain.?All significant achievements of meaning require the willing acceptance of the pain necessary to make the journey, to do the work, to learn the skills.?

Here are seven mindsets that connect a purposeful life to a happy life

1. Think about what you can achieve in 10 years, not in a week.?We so underestimate what we can achieve in a decade, and we so overestimate what we can achieve in a day or a week. Shift your focus to what you can achieve over the next decade. Where can your health, your?relationships, your financial wellbeing, your skill mastery be in a decade??It is far more inspiring to see a decade of achievement than a weeks worth of tasks.
2. Think in?terms of who you will become (character), not what you will have (possessions.)?I have been running leadership retreats for many years now. As we come to the end of any year, one of the questions that I ask leaders to reflect and share?during the retreat is?“what three words represent who you will become in 2022?”?It guides me towards thinking about how I will be, rather than what I will accomplish. My three words for 2022 are Focus, Connection and Clarity.?What three words would you choose?

1. Think in terms of process goals, not results goals.?I spent over a decade leading sales organisations… and we are taught not to let sales people share results, but activity.?A results goal could be to grow my business by 20%.?A process goal is to make two more calls per day. A results goal is to lose 10 kilograms.?A process goal is to leave two bites unfinished on every plate.
2. Think about changes in your environment, not your willpower.?If you want to eat less chocolate, don’t have it in your home. If you want to do more exercise, put your sports gear on as soon as you wake up.?If want to use?Facebook less,?delete the app.?High performers don’t have greater willpower, they remove the distractions from their life.
3. Don’t negotiate with?your excuses.?As soon as you decide to take any action, your mind will come up with reasons why not to do it. Don’t engage in this discussion. Your excuses have access to all of your intelligence and they will win.?
4. Fix the little things, and?the big things can take care of themselves.?Over the last 3 years I’ve had a habit of noting down each afternoon my "love/hate" list. I note everything that has added to my?enjoyment of life on the left, and everthing (and everyone) who has detracted from my life on the right.?It is often small things that detract.?I have acted to remove anything that consistently appears in my?“hate” list from my environment.?
5. Think why, who, how… not what, when, how….?In every Vistage CEO decision coaching process, the first question we ask is?“why is this important to you?”?And we will stay with this question until we truly understand why… before we move to who can help and how to execute.?Start with why.?Do what is important, not what is?convenient.

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I hope this article gave you some practical ideas for how to take charge of your life.

Thanks for reading,

Conor

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