How to handle rejection like Maisie Williams (Arya Stark of GoT)

Who doesn't know Arya Stark from 'Game of Thrones'? She was one of the most-loved characters on the series. Recently, I read this article about Maisie Williams (the actress who plays Arya ) -

In this interview, she candidly shared her struggle to find meaningful lead roles since 'Game of Thrones' wound up. It was like being back to square one. In most cases, she was viewed as privileged because she had acted in a historic TV show - it was assumed that she will be getting a lot of offers post the show.

Maisie overcame this by accepting rejection as part of the job and trying harder - she did not sit around complaining or acting privileged. She continued with auditions and has recently landed a role in a movie.

What can we learn from this -

1. We should welcome rejection.

Tell yourself - "It is not personal." Getting rejected for a job or a project just means we are not right for this particular opportunity. Or we need to reskill or upskill ourselves to rise to the level required for it. If it is a personal rejection, it breaks our heart a lot more but we often hear that heartbreaks have caused people to mature, flourish and strive to do better and achieve more. It has often made people more creative.

2. It is easier to go up than come down.

Many of us are wowed by fast success stories - especially of millionaires in their 20's. We rarely read about those who failed and lost their fortunes. Rejection in our early years can be great to build grit and determination. It is easier to go up than come down from a moneyed and comfortable lifestyle. Count your blessings if you have been rejected for your dream colleges/jobs/roles. Use the lessons learnt to develop a thicker skin and a never give up attitude. Who knows? Your failures may be turning you towards a direction that is better for you.

3. Your struggle will teach you more.

By this, I do not mean the struggle of poverty and malnutrition or living in an abusive environment. Most of us should be infinitely grateful that we have not had to struggle for our basic needs. That itself should stop us from self-pity.

The other struggles that we face may seem difficult and insurmountable at times but they are fueled by social expectations, peer pressure, Instagram comparisons and a false promise made by everyone these days - that each one of us is special and unique and will have it all, only if we think positive thoughts. We will not achieve everything we want and we will struggle for some of the things we do achieve. This struggle will teach us to value what we have and work harder.

No one said it truer than Tyler Durden in 'The Fight Club'.

If I look back at the rejections and failures I faced, they would be this -

1. Did not get through journalism school and had to study English Lit instead.
2. Tried out being a freelance soft skills trainer. Failed to pay my bills with the income.
3. Was rejected for 8 TEDx talks before I got invited to one.
4. My YouTube channel, AskAnnie - it did not take off even after putting out 4 years of content.

And yet, when I read about the Maisie Williams' of the world, it makes me want to try again and court rejection. For that is the only way to grow.

As Mark Manson says in his amazing book - 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck' -

"Who you are is defined by what you are willing to struggle for."

As another epic thinker, Sigmund Freud says,

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

So make these years of struggle into beautiful memories. Accept pain and loss and rejection and heartbreak, only to become stronger and wiser and successful on your own terms.