How to Handle Jerks in Business
Andrea Walker
Enterprise Solutions Delivery | Digital Transformation | Marketing Technology +Solutions Engineering
This year, I was taught something even more valuable as a business woman…how to deal with assholes.
Whether you’re in a corporate job, or an entrepreneur, you have come across these types throughout your career. It could have been a snide remark about an opinion you brought up during a work meeting, an inappropriate comment about the skirt you’re wearing, or those frequent invitations to take you out for a drink to discuss “business.” Whatever the case may be, when we put ourselves out there as women in business, we’re bound to run into these people. The question is how do we respond? Do we take our mother’s advice and bite our tongue or do we kick them in the balls instead (figuratively of course).
When I was at a recent networking event, I was introduced to one of the partners of an investment firm that was out of state. After he begrudgingly shook my hand, we exchanged pleasantries for about two minutes when I asked nicely, “So tell me a little bit more about your firm.” This guy then pulled out his smartphone and while looking down at his phone said very nonchalantly, “Oh you can just Google us to find out.”
Now, I guess I could have just walked away and brushed off his comment. But, to be honest I wanted to teach this guy a lesson. In a soft, calm voice I replied, “Well I guess your company isn’t really that interesting if you don’t want to tell me about it.” Now, that got his attention!
And, after looking him right in the eyes, I turned and walked away to talk to another person.
After years of owning and working in a business, this wasn’t the only time I had to deal with attitudes of that sort. It has hurt my ego before and it made me question my self-worth as a businesswoman. But, it also forced me to grow my confidence and not let those situations deter me from building my brand nor from relationship building. When I walk into a networking situation, I take an opportunity to get to know every person I talk to. I give my opinion honestly when asked and not timid to talk about my accomplishments. I’m courteous, thoughtful, but I’m not meek either.
I’m certainly not recommending you verbally chew out every person that gets on your nerves, but also know when to stand up for yourself. And don’t take it personally. You will literally grow crazy trying to over-think someone’s behavior toward you and why they acted the way they did. My Google guy could have probably thought I was wasting his time and wanted to talk to someone else. And you know what, that’s his choice. I’m sure someday he’ll learn his lesson and may lose his firm a big investment payday.
My encounter with Google guy reaffirmed why it’s difficult for women to be in business. But, we can’t nor should we let those situations define our overall success.
Creative Direction. Apparel Design. Branding. Identity. 20+ years experience in building brands.
10 年Why not just brush it off and move on knowing u won't do biz w him? When ur in a position to shut down a deal or express a well placed opinion to a superior of his, then you'll have his ass. Otherwise ur response could have come off as spiteful and emotional casting a neg light on u rather than him.
I've been fortunate to only encounter two actual jerks in my work--what I would call true jerks (as opposed to simple rudeness)--in my long professional career. The first time was simply a passing encounter and had no long-term implications for me. I was on a job interview as a law student in the 80s and realized the interview wasn't serious or it was a test that, at the end, I passed but then passed on. The other was much more significant and, for while, took a lot out of me because I could not easily escape it. I think I had to experience that second scenario, just to learn some lessons before I could move on to the next phase of my life.
Finance & Administration Director
10 年"Not my circus. Not my monkeys."...try not to say it out loud though. Crazy people can be so easily offended.
? Your Next Solicitor || FDRP || Creative Legal Mind.?
10 年Do not forget that men are also victims when it comes to stupid office politics. Women can be just as ridiculous and ruthless when it comes down to it.