How to Handle Hatred

The following is adapted from Thank You, Cancer.

Following a cancer diagnosis and the removal of a brain tumor the size of an egg, I swore to do everything I could to beat cancer for good. Along with chemo and radiation therapy, I started following the keto diet after I discovered that cancer uses keto as fuel.

Before long, I was looking and feeling great. I was even beginning to see success in my online nutrition business. Unfortunately, not everyone responded positively. As I strove to grow my business, I met people who were truly interested in what I had to share. I also received torrents of abuse from people who didn’t believe I was for real, doubted the value of keto, and even thought I was using my cancer diagnosis as a cheap way to seek attention.

For a while, I really took the hate to heart. I would lie in bed reading comments until midnight, fall asleep, then wake up to do it all over again. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and check my phone to see if anyone else had commented. I was constantly reading, responding, and taking every little comment way too seriously.

I had to find a way to stay motivated, otherwise, I would have allowed all the hate to define my self-perception and derail my dreams. I wasn’t going to allow that to happen. Thankfully, I learned some great strategies to handle hatred that I never would have developed if it hadn’t been for the people who doubted and attacked me—and made me stronger than I ever thought possible.

Hate Is an Expression of Frustration

One night, I made an Instagram post about my story and the dinner I was making, then sat down to listen to an episode of Andy Frisella’s podcast, The MFCEO Project, while I ate. Andy talked about how people who are the most hateful are usually the ones who need the most help. They aren’t where they want to be in their lives, so they try to take other people down with them.

That got me thinking about how I responded to the hate I received and how isolated I’d become. I lived alone. I spent most of my time building my business on social media. Then, on weekends, I either kept working or visited my family. In other words, it had been just me and my social media feed for far too long.

I used to refresh the page and watch as comments came in, meaning I saw almost every single hateful message. I heard from people who blamed me for being so ambitious, telling me that my desire to create financial freedom and have a positive impact in the world had caused the cancer. Some told me I was making my diagnosis up just to make money. I even heard from people who told me they hoped I died of cancer.

I tried to apply the lessons Andy Frisella talked about in his podcast, but it was hard. People kept coming at me, saying horrible, personal things, and the temptation to give them something back was almost overwhelming.

Letting Go of Negativity

That night after I finished dinner, I checked in on the post I’d made. The very first comment said, “You’re such a scam artist. Stop posting this bullshit.”

Then another one came in behind it: “You’re right, bro. This is ridiculous.”

Then another one: “Right? He’s just making money off of cancer. This’ll come back around to get him.”

As I scrolled, my heart started to race. I could see myself getting ready for brain surgery, getting another blood draw, running another test. Sweat beaded up on my forehead and I could feel my chest tighten up.

All of that panic and anger boiled over into a response I typed up furiously. These dudes were about to see exactly how I felt about their doubts.

Before hitting send, I looked back at what I’d typed. I thought about Andy’s episode that I’d just finished not an hour before. I thought about How to Win Friends and Influence People sitting on my nightstand. This wasn’t killing with kindness. This wasn’t empathy for the people spewing hate. This wasn’t taking the high road. This wasn’t what I was taught to do.

So I took a deep breath, deleted everything, and thought about why these people might want to drag me down to where they were.

I typed up a simple response:

Hey, man. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to express your thoughts. I’m not here to fight back, though. I’m just here to learn from you guys in any way that I can. Thank you!

I took another deep breath and put my phone away for the night.

The next morning, I woke up to a message. It was from one of the people who had been so negative the night before. They said, “I want to apologize for me and my friends. I’ve actually looked up to you for some time now. If you’re cool with it, I could use some help from you.”

Receiving that message was like a huge weight pulled off my back. Not every hater comes around like this. In fact, I usually just delete those comments as soon as they come in now, so that the rest of my followers can get the help they need.

But that one shift gave me the perspective I needed. It was a reminder that I had something worthwhile to offer. People needed what I was sharing. And most of all, I needed to let go of the negativity in order to stay healthy.

Don’t Fixate on the Hate

As I grew in confidence, I started to shift my focus. Instead of allowing hateful people to bring me down, I started to pay attention to the clients who were seeing results, which brought more people in who were curious rather than angry.

Those people enrolled, saw results, and shared their testimonials and before and after photos, then, even more, visited my page to see what we were doing. The snowball effect had begun, and I felt better about deleting hateful comments as they came up rather than dwelling on them. I had found confidence in myself, and now I was regaining confidence in what I was doing.

Every time I let the angry comments create a negative reaction, I handed my confidence over. For all of the effort I put into eating healthy, I had let the doubts and anger take over. Maybe I was afraid the haters were right. By getting defensive, I was giving them far too much control over my life.

Don’t allow hateful people to dominate your mindset. Focus on the good that you’re doing, and you’ll soon see more positivity in your life. It’s okay not to have all the right answers. Stay open-minded and view challenges as an opportunity to grow if you need to, even if growth looks like hitting delete or letting go of the need for someone else’s approval.

Focus on what you can do, what you’re driven to do, and what you will do, and you’ll step into real confidence that can’t be shaken by people who want to bring you down.

For more advice on handling hatred, you can find Thank You, Cancer on Amazon.

Logan Sneed is a brain cancer survivor and entrepreneur whose online business generated a six-figure income before his 21st birthday. A stage-4 cancer diagnosis didn’t derail Logan’s desire to reinvent himself every day and pursue the dreams he wasn’t ready to give up. Today, Logan is an inspirational public speaker, social media influencer, ketogenic diet expert, and a best-self coach with a passion for personal transformation. To learn more or connect with Logan, visit LoganSneed.com.