How to Handle a Difficult Conversation with Your Toxic Manager

We all face challenging conversations with our managers. The more there is animosity, the more they cannot do without each other. This article is not intended to encourage rudeness or harshness towards your manager. However, if you feel that your manager is a toxic person who consistently belittles and demeans you for personal reasons, this article is for you. Similarly, if you are a manager and unsure why your team is against you, this article may be helpful.

Before discussing strategies, let's first examine why you have a challenging relationship with your manager. Many new employees fail to understand professional protocols and ethics, which can cause disruptions in the workplace. Additionally, some young employees may feel that they know their job well, but others who have not walked in their shoes may not understand the challenges they face. However, it's important to note that your toxic manager may have also experienced similar or even more toxic challenges. This can make the manager hesitant to create bonds with the team, and the team may avoid talking to the manager due to a lack of communication.

I have always emphasized creating open channels to improve internal communication in the workplace.

Remember that you and your team are working towards a common mission. Your toxicity or rudeness towards your colleagues can hinder their loyalty and ownership of the brand. You don't need to be a dictator to be a boss. You can be a friend and a leader with the best internal communication strategies.

It can be challenging to deal with a toxic manager who consistently belittles you in front of others. However, there are ways to handle this situation with confidence and assertiveness.

For employees:

A) If you are an employee and your manager is toxic, demeans you in public, and singles you out, the best course of action is to take your manager aside and express your concerns. Always set boundaries with your manager and tell them how you feel in public. Let your manager know what your boundaries are and what is considered toxic for you. If your manager understands and responds positively, sort the issue on the spot. However, if your manager continues to behave inappropriately, follow the proper mechanisms to report. Always remain polite, professional, and assertive.

B) Sometimes a manager can become toxic when an employee disrespectfully treats them. If you don't see your boss as a leader and constantly criticize their strategy or show reluctance to take them seriously, managers need to address this behavior. They should communicate to their employees that they are the managers and are open to discussing strategies with the team to learn their opinions, and together they can come up with a mutual decision.

C) If you're an employee and you find yourself dealing with difficult conversations by staying silent, it's important to learn to say "No".

No one at the workplace should be allowed to use you or your services for their interest. If you experience this happening, it's important to say "No" and report the situation.

D) If reporting is not providing you with a sense of security, both mentally and emotionally, always remember that there are plenty of opportunities waiting for you. Don't tolerate toxicity for the sake of your mental health - always search for other options. Once you have an opportunity, consider switching your job if your boss doesn't value you and your emotions.

For Managers:

A) If you're a manager and your team is not communicating with you, and they lack interest and enthusiasm when working together on a project, it probably means that there is a communication gap between you and your team. In this case, you need to come up with new strategies to emphasize that you are all one team.

B) If any of your employees are complaining against you if they don't seem to enjoy the bond they share with you, or if they are too quiet, then it could be a sign that they are not happy with your management style. If you notice that your team is not showing results or they are not communicating with you effectively, or if they only talk about projects and nothing else, or if they seem too afraid or reluctant to talk to you, these are all red flags that something may be wrong. If your employees are complaining to others, it's high time to be their friend and openly ask about their challenges and issues.

C) If you are a manager who is consistently rude and aggressive towards your team, and you believe that the best way to maintain their respect is to treat them as your subordinates, it will likely have the opposite effect. This behavior will likely make them want to leave their job.

D) Similarly, if you are too friendly and soft, and you rely solely on your team without having a clear ideology or interest, it can be considered a red flag. Employees tend to follow a passionate boss, who has leadership qualities and can guide the team toward learning something new. If your team is not learning anything from you and there is a lack of communication within the team, it is a red flag, and you need to work on improving internal communication to make your team stronger and more effective.

The main point of the message is that toxic behavior can come from both employees and managers. Instead of quitting, it's better to communicate and work together to solve the problem.

Improving communication within the workplace is key to creating a healthier environment. Let's explore this idea further.

Strategies:

A) Encourage daily or weekly meetings in the office: It's not necessary to involve all departments. Each department can have its meeting to discuss its challenges, needs, and strategies. It's important to be clear in what you say, make meeting minutes, and conclude the meeting once you're done with feedback. Feedback is very important to improve team performance.

B) Providing training sessions for the staff: can help them understand your expectations and how you plan to lead the team. During these sessions, employees can learn new skills and discover untapped talents. Additionally, offering opportunities for employees to participate in these sessions can benefit both the individual and the office as a whole.

C) If your office does not have any policies or mechanisms: in place to protect the rights of employees, it is important to create them as soon as possible. To do this, you should discuss it with your team and ask for their opinions. Once a final decision has been made, you should print or email the policies and mechanisms to each employee.

D) If your employees feel micromanaged and would like more freedom, it's not a good idea to keep an eye on them all the time. Instead, you can create a system where employees submit digital reports to their team leaders on a daily or weekly basis. At the end of each month, the team can create a report together to identify any flaws. This will help your team work more efficiently and allow your employees to feel more valued and independent.

E) Lastly, when working together as a team, it is essential for every individual, be it an employee or a manager, to have transparency in each other's tasks. It is the right of an employee to know the role of every team member, whether they are a boss, manager, or any team member.

Difficult conversations are unavoidable. Avoiding them is not a solution. A manager's work is impossible without a team, and a team cannot function without a manager. However, problems arise when employees are not allowed to communicate with their boss directly. A lack of internal communication mechanisms can cause this issue.