How to Handle Conflict As a Leader

As a leader, there will inevitably be times when conflict will happen. Sometimes it might be between you and others, sometimes you might need to help resolve, (or handle the impact of), conflict that’s happening between other people. All the fun and games ??

So lets look at what conflict is, how it comes about and how you can approach resolving it

Can you get rid of conflict entirely?

Conflict happens when there is disagreement, a clash or a struggle. Which might sound unpleasant, ?and probably accounts for why so many people say they don’t like it and will try to avoid it. Being more specific though, it’s normally the emotions that people assume will come as a result of conflict that they are trying to avoid

That might seem like a subtle difference but it’s important. Because the secret is not to try and banish conflict entirely but to find ways that bring out the positives it can bring. Which generally means finding a way for people to be able to disagree without provoking those emotions. I’ll admit that might be easier said than done…

Think of it this way, if there’s no conflict it doesn’t mean people agree. It means there is either apathy (they don’t care enough to disagree) or artificial harmony (they’re pretending to agree)

Being able to disagree in a productive way opens up opportunities for learning, collaboration and innovation. And probably some more buzz words I haven’t included. Put simply it can help teams get more stuff done (and / or get it done better)

What causes it?

There’s a framework I like which attributes the causes of conflict (within teams but also more generally) to one of four main causes

Task conflict happens when there’s a disagreement over goals or objectives and is pretty common between different teams or within cross functional teams. There’s a mismatch in agreeing what the task actually is or what’s most important

Imagine a retail business needs to buy a new till system. IT might want one that integrates seamlessly with other systems that are already in place, Finance want to pay as little as possible and the Retail team want it to be easy to use and train people on. It’s unlikely one system will come out top on all of the measures so there is likely to be discussion about different options

Process conflict happens when the goal or objective is clear but there are differing views about how to go about it. This is incredibly common within teams because people have differing skills, experiences, ideas and preferences. If you are asking team members to work together on a project it’s unlikely they will all have the same ideas about the best approach

Status conflict occurs when there’s confusion or a disagreement over who is in charge of calling the shots. This happens between different teams, within cross functional teams and within individual teams too. Sometimes it’s more obvious than others. And it often results in problems being escalated upwards

Relationship conflict is the name given to common or garden personality clashes. It’s where the focus of the disagreement is the person rather than the problem. This can happen if you ask people who don’t get on to work together. It can also be a result of people who did get on having another type of conflict which then spills over into relationship conflict

It might sound clear cut describing them this way, but conflict has a way of spanning across more than one of these types, especially if it’s left unchecked.

I still remember the time I was sat in a meeting where a discussion covered all four types of conflict in the space of 10 minutes or so between two people who normally got on well. There was a process disagreement about which courier to use for deliveries. Then a discussion about the goal (was cost saving or customer service most important?). Then status conflict because the head of logistics thought it was their decision as budget holder. But the head of operations thought their view should be considered given they were the one on the receiving end of customer complaints. And since both were pretty headstrong the relationship conflict came into play when neither backed down

Resolving it

Understanding it is all well and good, but how do you know what is constructive and what is destructive conflict? When should you let things play out and when should you step in? And if you really want to get ahead of the game, how can you encourage the good stuff whilst avoiding the bad?

• Remember that some conflict is necessary and discuss that with your team. Broadly speaking, task and process conflict can be helpful and necessary for a team to perform well. Status and relationship conflict are more likely to be a distraction from the job in hand
• Create clarity. I’ve said it before and this won’t be the last time you’ll hear me talk about the importance of clarity. In conflict terms, it’s particularly helpful to avoid status conflict; if you make clear who calls the shots on which aspects of the things your team needs to get done then it is clear from the outset who is making the decisions and who is inputting to them
• Agree together how you’re going to behave when disagreements happen. Acknowledging that people won’t always have the same view and planning for it to be handled constructively avoids the element of surprise
• If you are either involved in or notice a level of conflict that’s not useful, choose the right time to handle it. One of the emotions often involved when there’s conflict is frustration or anger that comes about when people feel threatened or attacked. While that’s in play, logic and rational thought are out of the window so giving a breather before discussing what’s happened allows for the emotion to subside
• In an ideal world, if you do need to step in then encourage people to find their own solutions rather than telling them how you want them to behave. Seek to understand what went on rather than judge it, however tempting that may be. This is especially important if you haven’t actually witnessed a clash but have heard about it. Otherwise, the feeling of being judged will just prompt the defensive response I mentioned in the previous point which will make it harder to get anything resolved

If conflict is becoming a distraction for you or your team, feel free to book a virtual cuppa and find out how I can help. From 1:1 coaching to team workshops, I love helping teams embrace the good stuff that conflict can bring while ditching the downsides