How to Handle a Complainer
Richard Grehalva Leadership Coach, Sales Training TEDx
A recognized authority on personal development, executive leadership coaching, ,B2B sales training, sales coaching using proprietary methodologies with a tactical framework to create the positive change people want.
The constant negativity that a chronic complainer exudes can be an energy sucking of the worst kind, especially for emotionally sensitive people. Being around someone this negative can often make one physically and mentally tired, and emotionally worn out.
And they especially love it when their complaining and negativity get you cranky, because you know the saying: Misery loves company. Staying positive amidst a complainer can try even the most happy person.
If you find yourself having to be around a chronic complainer, such as a co-worker or mother-in-law, here are a few tips to help you endure:
1.??? Try to Understand Where They’re Coming From - It may surprise you to learn that most people who are chronic complainers don’t view themselves as being overtly negative. They do, however, see themselves as always being the one to struggle, always being the one to get the short end of the stick.
Because of this point of view, they tend to have a negative outlook on the world and life in general. This attitude comes out in nearly every aspect of their life, whether it be professional or personal.
2.??? Don’t Attempt to Challenge Their Negativity - If you try to tell a chronic complainer that things aren’t as bad as they think, or suggest that they might be over-reacting, they’ll say you're wrong and come up with an additional dozen reasons why their life is horrible. They truly believe that their life is awful and that there is nothing good to celebrate.
That’s a deep mindset problem that likely needs professional attention. Most chronically negative people simply want to have their experiences validated. If you can provide that validation and empathy, you’ll find that it’s easier to redirect their attention to something that’s not one of their many problems.
3.??? Avoid Offering Advice - Even if your advice would solve their problem, that’s not really what they want. If you “take away” their reality of the hardships they’ve gone through by offering a solution, they’ll only come up with reasons why they can’t take your advice.
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This can be incredibly frustrating to those that care about a complainer, so it’s best to learn that your advice won’t be valued, and should be kept to yourself.
In the long run, it’s best for your own mental and emotional health to try to eliminate chronically negative people from your life altogether. But if you can’t, just remember to not allow yourself to soak up that negativity.
Be the leader people want to follow.
Richard Grehalva
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1 个月Great read, Richard Grehalva Leadership Coach, Sales Training TEDx... Addressing a complainer requires empathy and active listening. By understanding their concerns, you can redirect the conversation towards solutions and positive action. It's about turning negativity into an opportunity for improvement and team growth. Open communication and setting clear expectations can make all the difference. Have a safe, positive, and productive day! Chris Clevenger #ConflictResolution #ActiveListening #PositiveChange #TeamGrowth