How To Handle Bullying by Your Boss?

While Coaching People across the globe, I sensed the heavy burden of bullying they are carried with and frequently I found that people have given enormous power to?ruthless words of bullying to shake their whole Self Esteem and those painful moments transferred into traumatic events which have impacted in past, harming present and undoubtedly can cause negative consequences in future. I decided to rate this topic a high value to write about it so that people across different geographical settings can set themselves apart from bullying and to empower them to cope up with the right strategies.

Unfortunately, Under the long legacy of Command and Control in Corporate sectors, the essence of that philosophy is to drive the human through fear and Money and when comes the intimidation part, many managers are quite adept in it, how to make someone fearful, anxious and doubtful by their heartless words of bullying. I often noted while working in corporate sector that they do?bullying through 3 common ways?

1) Intimidation: Like "if you wouldn't do this you know I shall fire you from you, if you wouldn't follow my words, you will face the disciplinary actions soon?"

2) De- meaning: To make and realize someone's that their work is worthless, like by passing comments " how foolish your project look like, how could you even think to work like this way "

3) Blaming: To accuse someone either in public or in private like "it is you who is pushing me back as a team leader, it is your fault to be a failure consistently "

Like me, I know you will also agree that bullying is common, and we often encounter unluckily bosses who are habitual of bullying. What if You or I need to work under him, how can you handle him effectively??Before answering, lets discuss first the common approaches people use against bullies and to see are they effective or not??

1) Aggression?

It is not easy to hold the reaction against heart wrenching words who continuously put a flame on?Ego's of persons who faces the bullies regularly and when victim gives response to bully with aggression , things get more panic and bullies get more energy to combat because conflict is their source of drive to get dominance and show power and things move into conflict and accusations rather than solving towards better outcome .So to Conclude this strategy is not helpful indeed to apply against Bullies .Fight should only be Applicable and helpful when?

1) You have no other way to resolve the issue?

2) When you know that in that fight you have higher chances to win?

3) When You need to take a stand for high Value things?

You can sort out on 3 dimensions like whether you should take a decision or not.

2) Passiveness:?

The Second strategy people use is being timid, cowardly and letting the bullies keep on harming and facing them with a heavy heart. This gives more opportunity to Bullies to have a catharsis of negative feelings over you and continuously keep on hurting you.

This strategy will make you feel worthless and will not be a good decision to be passive in response to bullying.

So, what is the right strategy to handle those so-called power Monsters? I know you are curious to know and i am not going to make you wait anymore. Let's explore this crucial dimension

1) Focus on Their Underlying Interest & Align your behaviors?

When he tries to give you response in aggressive tone and body language, look for what actually he seeks?in response. Like if he?bursts on your lower sales and productivity and while shouting, he says, how dare you miss your coverage to your loyal customers this month, so what is learning here? What does he value? Customer Coverage, so while interacting with him every time, put that coverage first and overly communicate what measures you have taken to get access to the right customers and how their words have set the direction.?It will give them the feeling that you value their words and follow his advice.

2) Focus On Asking rather than Self Justifications.

When a bully shouts, your?egoistic defensive response can let you?to preserve from his harm and you can start instinctively self-justifications which will make the situation worse by initiation of?win - lose or lose - win arguments and bullies cannot see themselves at loss. It will trigger their response. So, you need to start asking in response like " oh Dear, I appreciate your intent is positive, I could have done what you just advised me to do, let me know how do you want me to move forward? What possible strategies at high priority do you feel I should act on? Asking an approach in a future oriented way, will put him in a central position and he can feel?authority and also discussion will move forward towards outcomes of tasks rather than what has happened in the past.

3) Set Clear Expectations?

Bullies, though they have human traits but some negative coping mechanisms, will not be in aggressive states all the time. When you find them in a good mood, you can leverage that opportunity to set the expectations about what they want like you can ask, how do you feel about my progress? What parameters am I following? What would you like me to do to perform this task? How will you be evaluating my progress? What can I do consciously or unconsciously which can be the cause of your aggression??Responses will be very powerful, you will understand what his strategies, expectations and will help you to set your future actions accordingly.

4) Share Your Feelings Privately?

When you feel bad about his actions, you don't need to share in a heated debate publicly but when you feel the moment has gone and the boss is in a good mood on some other days, you can capitalize the moment to share in a way?Like " what he said ........... How You Feel ....... What's the impact on your performance ........ and what do you suggest doing ............ ??

Victims of bullies suppress their feelings that can lead to physical and mental health problems, and they also evacuate at soft corners like their own subordinates, family members, courteous friends etc. Learn how to share feelings with the right person??

I am pretty sure; my thoughts have added power for you, and you will apply to design your better tomorrow.

In case of more detail discussion and empowerment, I am very open and accessible, and you can contact me .