How to handle any desire to quit

On October 26, 1967, the right wing of Navy Commander John McCain’s fighter plane was torn off by a surface to air missile during a bombing raid on a recently rebuilt power plant in Hanoi. Witnesses said that his parachute opened so late that had he landed on anything but water, he would have been killed. He was taken to the notorious Hao Lo prison camp dubbed by US troops as ‘the Hanoi Hilton’ where he spent five years as a prisoner of war –?two years?of them in solitary confinement.

I think you would agree that this is a life experience any of us can understand without having been through it – the sheer mental turmoil of it – but you can definitely understand wanting to quit. We’ve all been there.

What can you learn about not quitting from someone who (likely) had it?much?worse than you?- and went on to run for president of his country?

McCain’s experiences were brutal. His right leg, left shoulder, and right arm were badly broken when his plane was shot down and not repaired properly so he was almost always in constant pain. He was tortured, often beaten and experienced frequent stomach problems; his life was saved by two fellow prisoners who nursed him back to survival. When he left the camp in 1973, he was a badly limping 100-pound skeleton.

How did he dig so deep and not quit??And what can you replicate when you are next in a tough situation?

McCain’s biographer and thirty-year confidant, Mark Salter, details this in?The Luckiest Man: Life with John McCain.

a)????Adopt the McCain mind-set: “You weren’t beaten until you quit.”

After beatings by prison guards, biographer Mark Salter described how McCain would bounce back right away by banging on anything in reach and yelling out epithets to his captors. He encouraged others loudly after they were beaten too. His fighting spirit was an inspiration to all.?Now it’s your turn.

b)???Get more human support

McCain said of being in solitary: “Without someone encouraging me, right away I started doubting myself.” Despite being punished when caught talking to the prisoner in the cell next to him, Air Force major Bob Craner, he would wrap a shirt around the enamel cup each prisoner was provided and speak through the wall. He described his neighbor as “my dearest friend…the closest friend I ever had.” And throughout this time they never saw each other. Having this support “saved me from going nuts,” says McCain!

Who’s cheering you on??You need people who will support you?unconditionally?(and sometimes we don’t get that at home). Seek them out.

c)????Visualize what you want and keep your mind positively occupied?

“He spent most hours reenacting stories from favorite books and films,” wrote Salter. McCain admitted: “I’d get so wrapped up in them some days that I’d get pissed off if something interrupted me.”

You want to keep your mind focused as quickly and as often as possible on positive thoughts that keep steering you back in a better direction. You face your challenges by taking proactive actions that are your best effort at a solution. Everyone needs to keep their head in an empowered place. I am no different. Each of us needs this more often than we realize.

The advanced level is to spend time picturing what you want. Darren, a recent client of mine in Washington DC, said he got through his tough early days as a new financial advisor responsible for bringing in business by “visualizing the success I’m going to have in five years. That only happens if I do the right thing now.”

d)???Get more divine support

McCain’s religious beliefs were a key factor in his ability to survive the ordeal and, according to Salter, were “never more potent than during his years in Hanoi. He spoke of religious experiences like they were epiphanies.” Later out of solitary, he was appointed chaplain for ‘the big room’ which housed 25 other prisoners and “recalled weeping as they all sang ‘Silent Night’ to end a Christmas service in 1972.”

Even if you feel like quitting, remember you don’t have to do this alone. Join the company of many great achievers and leaders who, throughout human history, have leaned on God (with the faith of their choice or no religion at all).

e)???Stay true to your values

The prison camp leadership were always looking to invent positive publicity to shame the US troops who had been bombing them and attempt to present themselves to the global media in a positive light.

McCain’s father was a high-ranking military official who at one point during the war was the Navy’s CINCPAC – commander in chief in the Pacific. Having read this in the US newspapers, the camp commandant offered McCain early release several times ahead of other POWs who had been in the camp longer. In return, McCain had only to say favorable things about his captors. Despite missing his wife and young child terribly, every time McCain was asked to do this, he would refuse to be released because there were other US POWs who had been imprisoned longer than him and because he would not compromise his values by telling the world media that his captors were humane and kind when they mostly abusive and brutal.

Why did you decide to do what you’re doing now in the first place? If it still aligns with what you value most in life, stay the course and keep on keeping on. Dawn will break.

The ingredients when tempted to quit: a resilient mindset, fighting spirit, human contact, stick to what you value most, keep your mind constructively occupied and lean on God. All of these can be critical factors to enduring whatever life throws at you.

To perseverance!

Matt

Copyright Matt Anderson, 2022