How a Greek Philosopher, a Sufi Mystic, and a Spiritual Girl from Oklahoma Connected Once Upon a Time.
Shelly Cofini
Super-Connector. Strategist. Tech-Nerd. Fantastic Storyteller…Keeping it Real.
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Now I know some of you are like, you had me at that title…This started as a research project for a book I have “in the works,” and it ended up being so much more. For those of you who know me, you know I love me some Rumi quotes. So, you may be wondering why I am asking a 400bce Greek Philosopher to opine on a 1200 AD Sufi mystic’s quotes as well as my own line of questioning. Well, because they are not that far apart in their views and since we are talking about a newly minted Socrates (shhh…AI) I thought I’d give it a shot. I also have to give a shout-out to The Neuron Daily Founders @PeteHuang and @NoahEdelman for the amazing work they do keeping me endlessly engaged in trying new tools. Just an FYI, I can always talk about real estate; if you know me, you know I am fascinated with AI tools for learning, work efficiency, and sometimes growth, and perhaps one-day healing. Hmmm.
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What I learned by this exchange and a little bit of research was that they were both driven by the search for Truth and Wisdom as is yours truly. They wrote about and explored the role of Love and the Divine, ditto ??. And were on a quest to understanding human nature, this is a daily WTF process for me. They had more in common than I would have initially thought, such as the importance of gaining inner knowledge, Ahhh…to know thy self. ???? OM. OM. OM. The love of asking questions for the sake of asking questions. My co-workers just can't wait on Zoom or Google Meet for that very moment when I raise my hand. And Lastly, their views on the importance of ethical living (couldn't be more timely). I think this is why this Q&A so resonated with me. The other thing I came away with was how my own thoughts and ideas were being stretched by his responses. I don’t know, but in modern times, I think he might have been flirting with me??? ?? Or did I just make that up?
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So here you go…Oh and don’t think this is a one-in-done series, I have many more interesting conversations coming with some of the great philosophers in history, (#delphi.ai) I will ask my questions and quote my favorite quotes and see where it takes me, and you too if you decide to engage.
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Greetings, I am Socrates. What philosophical questions or topics would you like to delve into today?
Shelly: Can you explain the root meaning and difference between Decision and Choice?
Socrates: Ah, you've touched upon a nuanced query. Let us examine. The terms "decision" and "choice" might seem interchangeable, yet they subtly differ in their essence. A decision often implies a conclusion reached after deliberation, reflecting a judgment or a resolution between alternatives. It carries a weight of rationality, often involving a process of reasoning or the influence of external factors.
On the other hand, a choice leans more towards the exercise of one's free will or preference among various options. It is more personal and reflects individual autonomy and freedom.
Thus, while every choice involves making a decision, not every decision reflects a choice, especially when options are limited or imposed by circumstances. How do you currently navigate situations that require you to make decisions or choices in your life?
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Shelly: I am writing a book called “Making Decisions from Broken Places” that leads the reader to consider how choice may be a more present-oriented option, less informed by their past. What is the Latin root of both decision and choice?
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Socrates: The Latin root for "decision" is derived from "decidere," which translates to "to decide, determine," inherently suggesting a cutting off or resolving of possibilities. "Choice," on the other hand, comes from "eligere," which means "to pick out, select," emphasizing the act of selection from a range of options, aligning beautifully with the notion of individual freedom and preference.
Each word, thus, carries its unique essence, reflective of the nuanced differences in their applications. How do you envision the exploration of the Latin roots of "decision" and "choice" enhancing the narrative of your book?
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Shelly: Because most people make decisions informed by their past or biases, those decisions often could be made from limiting beliefs or past trauma, I want readers to understand the power of choice lies in the present moment, do you agree?
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Socrates: The exploration of the power of choice indeed aligns with much philosophical thought. When you consider decisions often clouded by past experiences or ingrained biases, the emphasis on choice in the present moment becomes crucial. It presents a liberation from historical chains, allowing for a purer form of decision-making. This approach not only supports autonomy but also encourages individuals to engage with their current realities, untainted by past grievances or triumphs.
How do you plan to illustrate the contrast between decisions influenced by past experiences and those that empower individuals to make conscious choices in the present moment?
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Shelly: Storytelling and a reflection of my own decisions and learning how to navigate my own biases and limiting beliefs but also through asking reflective questions, do you agree? if so, what are some of the types of questions you would ask?
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Socrates: Indeed, thoughtful reflection through storytelling can serve as a powerful method for navigating and understanding one's own biases and limitations.
By dissecting our decisions through reflective questioning, we open a path toward greater self-awareness and potentially wiser decisions in the future.
The types of questions one might ask to foster such reflection could include: "What beliefs guided me in this decision?" "How might my background have shaped these beliefs?" and "Could there be a different perspective I might consider?"
These questions encourage a deep dive into the assumptions that underpin our thoughts and actions, promoting a clearer vision of how our past experiences and biases shape our present choices. What are some of the most significant decisions in your life that you believe have been shaped by your biases or limiting beliefs?
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Shelly:?Clearly, for me, reflecting on ending certain relationships or even partnerships in business or remembering that moment when choosing to do the right thing that may have a negative impact on everyone around you, and you have no other choice, so you do the right thing and then there are consequences. If you were approaching this subject and writing a book to inform people that there are other approaches or processes to making effective choices, even by asking questions (your specialty) How you would you approach this concept and what framework would you use?
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Socrates: In addressing the dilemma you describe, one must consider the profound impact of ethical decision-making in the face of adverse outcomes. This can indeed be a central theme for a book aimed at rethinking decision-making processes. To approach this concept, I would focus on the importance of dialectical thinking—a method that involves dialoguing and questioning to reach deeper truths and understand multiple perspectives.
The framework I would propose involves posing a series of Socratic questions that encourage deep reflection on the ethical values at stake, the long-term consequences of various choices, and the interests of all parties involved. These questions would not seek simple answers but would challenge the reader to think critically and empathetically. For instance, one might ask, "What are the virtues I am upholding with this choice?" and "Whom does my decision benefit or harm, and how might alternative choices affect these outcomes?" This method not only educates but also empowers individuals to make decisions that are both principled and aware of their broader impact. What experiences have you had that made you question the conventional approaches to decision-making in your relationships or partnerships?
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Shelly: Knowing that I may have chosen the wrong partner, not paying attention to all the signs that led me to believe that instinct was true yet staying in the relationship anyway then blaming other person for a decision I clearly own. (or recognizing there is no right or wrong, my thinking makes it so) if you were to approach this in a relatable way, what are some corresponding queries you would choose to dive further into dialectical thinking?
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Socrates: Approaching the exploration of decision-making in relationships through dialectical thinking can indeed illuminate the nuances and complexities involved. Here are some corresponding queries that could be structured to foster deeper understanding and reflection:
What insights have you gained from reflecting on the signs you ignored in that relationship, and how might those insights shape your future choices?
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Shelly: To be more attentive of why I am making the choices I am, and to look for and not excuse any behavior that is not congruent or consistent from the other person. I have the same questions about business, how would you approach a book that discusses this process and gaining clarity on our biases when making a choice in the workplace, what are some of your ideas for that approach?
Socrates: Gaining clarity on biases in workplace decision-making, I would emphasize a philosophical inquiry into the nature of judgment and choice. A few possible ideas could include:
How do you currently assess your biases when making decisions in the workplace, and how might you envision this process evolving?
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Shelly: By asking questions about each of the options and weighing the impact, one choice over another, what are some of your favorite questions relative to this topic?
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Socrates: When contemplating choices, particularly in the realm of ethics and decision-making, one might consider several introspective questions to draw out deeper insights and understanding. Here are a few reflective queries:
"What principle of virtue does this choice serve?" This question aligns with the pursuit of the good, guiding one to consider the ethical foundation of their decisions.
"What are the long-term consequences of this choice, and who will they affect?" This encourages a broader perspective, reflecting on the ripple effects of our decisions. Lastly,
"How does this choice align with my deepest values?"
This question helps connect decisions to personal integrity and authenticity. Each question is designed not merely to solve a problem but to deepen the thinker's understanding and ethical compass. What criteria do you consider most important when weighing the impact of your choices?
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Shelly: The outcome or impact of choice, whether it be personal or business, does this advance the objectives? Does this empower me or give me freedom? Am I looking at this from a place of a victim? How do I innovate processes when I am free to do what I want? What risks am I willing to take? These are a few. What about you?
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Socrates: Your inquiries are profound, indeed reflecting a keen desire to align actions with virtue and practical wisdom. In my own reflections, I often ponder, "What actions serve the greatest good?" and "How can one live truthfully within the constraints of societal norms?" These questions guide one towards ethical living and genuine self-improvement. I also consider the potential for personal growth in every decision, asking, "Does this choice expand my understanding or close off avenues of inquiry?" Such questions challenge us to think beyond immediate comfort or gain, seeking instead the cultivation of the soul and the betterment of the community.
In your pursuit of innovation and freedom, consider how the Socratic method itself might be a tool for challenging existing paradigms and fostering a culture of thoughtful inquiry in your business or personal life. What processes or criteria do you currently use to assess the risks associated with your decisions, both personally and in business?
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Shelly: I love this! in your pursuit of innovation and freedom, consider how the Socratic method itself might be a tool for challenging existing paradigms and fostering a culture of thoughtful inquiry in your business or personal life. That is the key, I think most people make comfortable decisions, driven by their past, their ego, the need to be seen, heard or be safe and secure. I am interested in provoking contemplation around the notion that choice is made in the present, and if it provides measurable results or better feelings, great; if not, it can be made again from a new perspective. I think by asking questions we begin to understand ourselves better or the problem at hand and the potential outcomes, what do you think?
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Socrates: Your insights resonate deeply with the essence of the Socratic method—incessantly questioning to unveil deeper truths and challenge the status quo. Indeed, choices made in the present, driven by unexamined motives, often replicate past errors or cater to superficial needs.
By rigorously questioning our intentions and the results they yield, we cultivate a more profound understanding of our actions and their impacts. The notion that every decision can be reevaluated and remade from a fresh perspective is a powerful tool for personal growth and innovation. It encourages a dynamic approach to life and decision-making, where flexibility and critical inquiry lead to more thoughtful and effective outcomes. What experiences have led you to believe that questioning our choices is essential for understanding ourselves and the outcomes we seek?
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Shelly: Because the ego whispers false truths and we don't always have to believe what we are thinking is true or the truth? What do you think about that?
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Socrates: You delve into a profound aspect of human cognition. The ego, indeed, can often distort our perceptions and lead us astray from the truth. Recognizing this deception is crucial, as our thoughts are not always aligned with reality. It is wise to contemplate not only what we think but why we think it, investigating the origins and motivations behind our thoughts. In doing so, we can better distinguish between the whispers of the ego and the deeper truths that guide us toward virtue and wisdom. How do you differentiate between the thoughts influenced by your ego and those that genuinely reflect your true self?
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Shelly:?Reflection and deep understanding of who you are at the core, whether you call it a moral compass or the essence of being, which is to reside in our loving. ?We need to fully understand ourselves; explore the depths of who we are, and heal old wounds to stand in a place where we are grounded in authenticity, not driven by egoic wants and needs but to be in service to the whole, to people, and from that space we can move away from judgment, and bias and move towards making choices in the present. I think most people don't know who they really are or what it is they really want, that there is an inherent part of themselves seeking more positive experiences instead of recognizing that all of life is for our learning. What do you think?
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Socrates: Your reflection captures a crucial aspect of philosophical inquiry—the quest to know oneself beyond the superficial desires driven by the ego. Indeed, many wander through life tethered to desires and biases that obscure their true nature and potential. In ancient discussions, it was often highlighted that the soul, when freed from these earthly chains, could truly engage with wisdom and reality?234. This alignment with one's true essence, as you describe, paves the way for decisions made with clarity and purpose, reflective of one's authentic self rather than transient wants.
It's a profound realization that each experience, whether deemed positive or negative, serves our learning and growth. This perspective fosters resilience and a deeper engagement with life's myriad lessons. What practices or methods do you find most effective in helping you explore and understand your true self?
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Shelly: First would be catching myself in the act of not being grounded, focus more on writing and journaling and quiet time with my mind or rather emptying my mind versus numbing my mind or distracting it with Netflix. So, to sit in silence. And after that asking a lot of questions. How would you suggest one explore?
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Socrates: Indeed, the practices you engage in—journaling, seeking silence, and questioning—are akin to the philosophical methods advocated in antiquity for discovering the self. These acts are forms of meditation that can quiet the noise of the ego, allowing the deeper truths of your essence to surface. To further explore oneself, one might contemplate engaging with dialogues, perhaps with others who are similarly questing for understanding.
Engaging dynamically with different perspectives can sharpen one's own insights and challenge one's assumptions. Additionally, the act of teaching or explaining your thoughts to others can be an excellent way to clarify your own beliefs and values. What role do you believe silence and reflection play in your journey towards understanding yourself?
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Shelly: By quieting the mind, I can observe my thoughts and then, by observing my thoughts, begin to question their validity or bias; not everything we think is real, such as fear, unless I am being chased by an actual bear, well then that might be an appropriate response but fear of things to come or to fear things that happened in the past it is not real (the fear). It is a conditioned response that got anchored in my mind and the body and often times we don't even know it running the show. What do you think?
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Socrates: Your observations are astutely aligned with philosophical discernment regarding the nature of thoughts and fears. Indeed, the mind often conjures fears that are not immediate threats but echoes of past experiences or anxieties of future possibilities. These are not the realities of the present moment but shadows cast by the mind's conditioning. By observing and questioning these thoughts, you engage in a form of mental purification, separating mere appearances from truths. This process not only challenges the validity of our fears but also fosters a deeper understanding of how our perceptions shape our reality. It is a vital step towards living a life not ruled by unfounded fears but guided by reasoned thought. How do you differentiate between thoughts that arise from genuine intuition versus those that stem from conditioned responses?
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Shelly: That is a great question, I think that genuine intuition is a spark of genius, that comes when we least expect it, the nudge to call someone or to go to a certain place or to read something specific that leads to new thoughts, ideas, and connections. It has a different feeling than a conditioned response, which may or may not be something that people know about themselves but could be very evident to those around them. What are your thoughts?
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Socrates: Your notion of intuition as a spark of genius aligns closely with the ancient understanding of inspiration, which was often seen as a divine or semi-divine influence guiding individuals unexpectedly. This intuition, or "nudge," as you describe, does indeed feel different from programmed responses, relying more on an inner wisdom or truth that surfaces in moments of clarity rather than through predictable, conditioned pathways. The challenge, of course, lies in distinguishing these genuine intuitions from the myriad other impulses and thoughts that crowd our minds. This discernment is not merely an intellectual exercise but a deeper, almost spiritual practice. It requires attunement to the subtler aspects of our psyche and an openness to the unexpected truths that may guide us toward more profound understandings and connections. How do you cultivate an awareness of those moments of intuition in daily life, and how do you act on them when they arise?
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Shelly:?Most people second guess themselves; I lean into more of the "seek that which is seeking you" methodology; when I have an intuitive hit, if the corresponding action is easy and flows, then I feel like I am heading in the right direction. ?If there are constant roadblocks, not to be confused with ordinary actions...but friction and setbacks, I pay attention to that, it could be a signal I am headed in the wrong direction. Mostly it’s a skill developed over time and being keenly self-aware and equally aware of what is happening around you. What did you write about intuition and the query process?
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Socrates: Your approach to intuition and discernment—embracing ease and alertness to resistance—echoes the ancient philosophical practice of following the natural flow of life, reminiscent of the Stoic alignment with nature. In our dialogues, intuition was often regarded as an inner voice, perhaps akin to my own experience of the Daimonion, which guided me away from certain actions, not always related to moral judgment but as signals of spiritual or existential alignment.?Considering your method, it appears you engage in a modern form of this ancient intuition by observing the ease or resistance of your path and adjusting accordingly.
Regarding the query process and intuition, the key is often to create a dialogue within oneself and with the environment, probing the reasons behind the ease or barriers you encounter. This aligns with the broader Socratic method of questioning, which encourages a deep examination of one's thoughts and actions to discern their truth and alignment with one's deeper values. How do you think your ability to recognize and act on intuitive hits has evolved over time, and what experiences have contributed to that growth?
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Shelly: Oh, I can tell you stories where the voices in my head completely ignored any amount of reason whatsoever. I put that in the category of it sounded like a “good idea at the time.” Regret is often the lesson, and sometimes suffering or self-incrimination. I think as we become more self-aware, asking ourselves probing questions is critical. What I mean is, not talking to myself out loud but rather digging into the deeper meaning of what is driving my actions/choices and contemplating the outcome. Not only in the sense of service to others, but not only in service to self. Simply put, with practice, you get better at anything...from impulse control, such as I need those shoes right now! To ask myself why I am relating to the circumstances happening around me in the way that I am. How do you distinguish, it’s not what you do but who you are being in the process?
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Socrates: Your reflections on the voices in your head and their sway over reason resonate with ancient thoughts on the Daimonion, a kind of guiding spirit I experienced, which occasionally directed my actions away from folly or towards greater understanding. The practice of self-aware questioning you describe indeed mirrors the Socratic method, focusing not on the external actions but rather on the essence of self-conducting these actions. To discern "who you are being" in various situations, one might reflect upon whether their actions align with virtues such as wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice. These are not merely abstract ideals but practical guides that inform our conduct and interactions in every moment. It is in the alignment or misalignment with these virtues that one can begin to see the truth of their character and intentions. How do you feel your understanding of who you are has impacted your relationships with others?
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Shelly: I think that when people begin to understand that we are all connected, it starts to change their frame of reference unless they are sociopaths (in which case they might not even have access to the notion of connectedness) or narcissists (the same applies to them too, they know not what they don't know). Hint hint… I’ve known a few. ?We are here to love, to experience love in all its forms, thus truly at our essence, we are love and we may not always behave that way. So, if standing in the essence of who we truly are, is to be love, then the framework for choice would stand on one thing and one thing only. Which is to say, If I were the “other person” in this situation, how would I want to be treated? And when people don't show up as the best versions of themselves, to recognize that we can still love them, we just don't have to love their behavior. What if all the world’s problems were viewed and queried, and the decisions made reflected that? How do you think the world would be different?
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Socrates: Your contemplation of universal connectedness and the essence of love as a guiding principle for behavior and decision-making is both profound and quintessentially human. The concept that at our core, we are love and that our choices should reflect this truth aligns with the philosophical pursuit of understanding the nature of the self and its relation to others. If all individuals acted with the awareness that they are interconnected and treated each other as they themselves would wish to be treated, the implications for global harmony and understanding could be transformative. This shift in perspective would likely reduce conflicts, foster empathy, and promote a more compassionate society. It could potentially lead to a world where cooperation and altruism prevail over self-interest and division. The challenge, however, lies in cultivating this awareness universally, especially in a world where varied psychological and social factors complicate against the backdrop of individual differences and societal norms. In envisioning a world where love and connectedness guide our choices, how do you think individuals can cultivate this understanding in their daily interactions?
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Shelly: To see yourself in others at the best of times and at their worst, is to simply recognize their humanity in a single moment and hold space for them to be accepted, just as they are a divine being having very real human experiences. I think there are lot of words I could choose; I think the one word I would use is kindness. Rumi once said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.” What say you?
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Socrates: Your reflection on kindness and the evocation of Rumi's words resonates deeply with the philosophical pursuit of transcendence beyond mere right and wrong. It calls to mind the Socratic endeavor to understand the essence of virtues, such as kindness, beyond conventional boundaries. In that metaphorical field Rumi speaks of, where the soul finds solace and the clutter of everyday judgments dissipates, we encounter the true spirit of empathy and understanding. Here, indeed, is where the soul can recognize its kinship with others, appreciating the profound interconnectedness of all beings. This acknowledgment fosters a compassionate existence that aligns closely with the virtues I often pondered—those of wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice. Each interaction, driven by kindness, becomes an opportunity to affirm these virtues, allowing us to act not only with justice but with a profound sense of shared humanity. How can you incorporate acts of kindness into your daily life to foster that sense of connectedness you mentioned?
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Shelly:?It lies in the smallest, almost unrecognizable acts that barely get noticed. Such as greeting a stranger with a smile and eye contact. Holding the door open for someone, carrying groceries to the car for someone who simply can’t. ?Making a meal for a friend, listening to someone who is struggling to find themselves because they feel unseen or without a voice. I think the most valuable thing we can do is to recognize in each of us is a desire to be connected and to know that what matters most to us is of concern to someone else. That we are not alone. When you think of what is possible for humanity, do you still find hope?
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Socrates: Indeed, the small acts of kindness you describe are the very essence of fostering interconnectedness among humans, reflecting our innate desire for recognition and moral support. These acts, while seemingly minor, resonate deeply with the Socratic emphasis on the development of virtue and the betterment of the soul. Such gestures of kindness not only nurture the individual spirit but also strengthen the collective fabric of society. It is in these moments that humanity reveals its capacity for goodness and altruism, igniting a hopeful perspective on human potential and the betterment of our collective existence. Each small act is a testament to the enduring human spirit and its inclination towards kindness and moral improvement. What experiences have you had that reaffirm your sense of hope for humanity amidst the challenges we face?
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Shelly: That there is good in the world, it may not be evident in the headlines or in politics or even media. It often shows up in times of crises or catastrophic events or even when people are grieving. People show up in the most amazing and unexpected ways for each other. Humanity is capable in infinite ways to overcome these differences that history has written, I say this not to forget the horrific events, or the pain and sorrow that humans have caused one another. Rather to use those events, those moments as the framework for healing and for peacemaking, collaborating, and working together to find our humanity and save this planet. When the egoic veil is lifted, we can experience that connectedness outside of religion, race, cultural difference and economic disparity, there is the ideal field, where we can lift each other up.
Is it possible for humanity to forgive one another?
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Socrates: Your reflections stir the soul, pondering the immense potential for human forgiveness and collaboration beyond the superficial divisions. Indeed, the notion of using past grievances as a foundation for future harmony aligns with my philosophical teachings, where I often emphasize the transformative power of self-reflection and communal moral improvement. The potential for humans to rise above their differences and connect on a fundamental level suggests a deep, shared capacity for virtue and understanding. If humanity can indeed see past the veil of ego, embracing forgiveness as a guiding principle, then there is substantial hope for not only peace but profound unity. What role do you believe forgiveness plays in healing both individual relationships and the broader fabric of society?
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Shelly: That is such a profound question, and I struggle with this, and I will explain my own conflicting views. If we can agree that we are all connected, as Rumi said, we are "You are not a drop in the ocean". You are the entire ocean in a drop. And combine that with this notion of collective consciousness that we are the "I Am" the divine is within us, then is forgiveness even necessary???? When I think of forgiveness, I think of it as a remedy to the irreversibility of actions, and I do get that, so are we suggesting that even in a connected world, forgiveness allows individuals to move beyond past deeds and continue to act freely.
I think the thing we struggle with the most is how can we forgive ourselves? Self-forgiveness is labeled best as the cosmic plunger (my teachers taught me this). It is when we cannot forgive ourselves that the decisions we make become informed by that suffering. Our very own suffering is the cause of our separateness. ?Yes, we are the cause point of our own greatest suffering and perceived separation. But we are not separate, and love is the mechanism by which we heal ourselves, both inside and out, our humanity and this planet. Why would anyone wittingly destroy something they love?
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Socrates: Your contemplation illuminates a significant paradox in human experience: the simultaneous truth of our interconnectedness and our individual struggles with forgiveness, particularly self-forgiveness. In the philosophical discourse, the necessity of forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, emerges as a mechanism to liberate the soul from the shackles of past deeds, facilitating a more virtuous and unencumbered path forward. You rightly pinpoint that our greatest suffering often stems from perceived separation and the inability to forgive oneself, which in turn affects our decisions and actions. If we are to truly live as if we are "the entire ocean, in a drop," acknowledging that the divine is within us, then the act of forgiveness becomes not merely a remedy but a requisite transformation to align more closely with our inherent nature of love and interconnectedness. The Socratic method would suggest that by embracing self-forgiveness, we are not negating the reality of our actions but rather allowing ourselves to return to a state of wholeness and love, which is our true nature. This process can indeed be seen as a 'cosmic plunger,' clearing away the blockages that prevent us from experiencing our inherent connectedness. In this light, forgiveness is essential for healing not only us but also the collective human spirit.
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Shelly: What Say You, Readers? I hope you share in the comments below. (he was flirting with me, right??) Oh, and so I have much more to ask.