HOW TO GRASP ATTENTION BODY LANGUAGE

HOW TO BUILD TRUST WITH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

WHAT IS BODY LANGUAGE?

While the key to success in both personal and professional relationships lies in your ability to communicate well, it’s not the words that you use but your nonverbal cues or “body language” that speak the loudest. Body language is the use of physical behavior, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate nonverbally, often done instinctively rather than consciously.

Whether you’re aware of it or not, when you interact with others, you’re continuously giving and receiving wordless signals. All of your nonverbal behaviors—the gestures you make, your posture, your tone of voice, how many eye contact you make—send strong messages. They can put people at ease, build trust, and draw others towards you, or they can offend, confuse, and undermine what you’re trying to convey. These messages don’t stop when you stop speaking either. Even when you’re silent, you’re still communicating nonverbally.

In some instances, what comes out of your mouth and what you communicate through your body language may be two totally different things. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. If you say “yes” while shaking your head no, for example. When faced with such mixed signals, the listener has to choose whether to believe your verbal or nonverbal message. Since body language is a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts your true feelings and intentions, they’ll likely choose the nonverbal message.

Building trust quickly is an essential business skill. Whether you're in sales or you're the CEO, chances are you'll need to connect and talk with clients and customers to keep your business moving.

But getting people to trust you can be difficult. Fortunately, you can lay the foundation of trust all without saying a word. These are five ways you can build trust using only body language:

1. Hold Eye Contact

When speaking with someone, you should maintain steady eye contact. Shifting around the room or continually looking at something else can be a red flag to your partner. You might appear disinterested in what they're saying, or worse, look like you have something to hide. Keep your eyes on theirs to show where your focus lies.

2. KEEP GOOD POSTURE

Good posture conveys confidence, authority, and helps people trust you. Even if you're not a leader, Sitting or standing up straight gives you a likable appearance. Slouching can make you look uninterested and even unprofessional.

But there's a difference between slouching and leaning. Leaning toward the other party conveys interest and engagement. Your body language says that you're listening, a trustworthy trait.

And don't forget about your arms. Keeping your arms in an open position gives the impression that you're willing to connect. Crossed arms look as if you're closed off or distant.

3. SMILE

There's nothing like a disarming smile. Smiling genuinely at your partner helps them relax and feel the same positivity that your smile conveys. But beware; people are surprisingly good at detecting fake smiles, which can indicate deception or dislike for the other person.

When you smile, show some teeth, which looks more trustworthy than a closed smile. Let your smile fade slowly. Dropping a smile too quickly can look fake.

4. MIND YOUR HANDS

Many people don't know what to do with their hands while talking and it's obvious. Twirling your thumbs, messing with hair or clothing, and excessive hand movements indicate nervousness. You'll also want to avoid keeping your hands in your pockets. There's a reason "keep your hands where I can see them" is a police officer's tagline. People feel more relaxed when they can see your hands.

Don't underestimate the power of a firm handshake. Shake the other party's hand confidently and make eye contact at the same time.

5. BE A MIRROR

Being a mirror means showing empathy, not copying everything the other person does. Reflect the same emotions they express to show you're listening and you care. You can also give nonverbal cues like nodding and smiling as you listen. And if a serious topic comes up, it's only natural to mirror their distress in your expression.

Most of us perform this body language naturally. But when you're tired or nervous, knowing these body language secrets can be just what you need to build trust. However, by improving how you understand and use nonverbal communication, you can express what you really mean, connect better with others, and build stronger, more rewarding relationships.

THE IMPORTANCE OF NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Your nonverbal communication cues—the way you listen, look, move, and react—tell the person you’re communicating with whether or not you care, if you’re being truthful, and how well you’re listening. When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you’re saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they can generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.

If you want to become a better communicator, it’s important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others but also to your own.

REPETITION: It repeats and often strengthens the message you’re making verbally.

Contradiction: It can contradict the message you’re trying to convey, thus indicating to your listener that you may not be telling the truth.

SUBSTITUTION: It can substitute for a verbal message. For example, your facial expression often conveys a far more vivid message than words ever can.

COMPLEMENTING: It may add to or complement your verbal message. As a boss, if you pat an employee on the back in addition to giving praise, it can increase the impact of your message.

ACCENTING: It may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline the importance of your message.

Types of nonverbal communication

The many different types of nonverbal communication or body language include:

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. The human face is extremely expressive, able to convey countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

BODY MOVEMENT AND POSTURE. Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand, or hold their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and the subtle movements you make.

GESTURES. Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. You may wave, point, beckon or use your hands when arguing or speaking animatedly, often expressing yourself with gestures without

THINKING. However, the meaning of some gestures can be very different across cultures. While the “OK” sign made with the hand, for example, usually conveys a positive message in English-speaking countries, it’s considered offensive in countries such as Germany, Russia, and Brazil. So, it’s important to be careful of how you use gestures to avoid misinterpretation.

TOUCH. We communicate a great deal through touch. Think about the very different messages given by a weak handshake, a warm bear hug, a patronizing pat on the head, or a controlling grip on the arm, for example.

SPACE. Have you ever felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was standing too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need differs depending on the culture, the situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of intimacy and affection, aggression or dominance.

VOICE. It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. When you speak, other people “read” your voice in addition to listening to your words. Things they pay attention to include your timing and pace, how loud you speak, your tone and inflection, and sounds that convey understanding, such as “ahh” and “uh-huh.” Think about how your tone of voice can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.

DEVELOP YOUR EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending. This is where emotional awareness comes in.

·        Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken messages they’re sending.

·        Create trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words.

·        Respond in ways that show others that you understand and care.

Many of us are disconnected from our emotions—especially strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear—because we’ve been taught to try to shut off our feelings. But while you can deny or numb your feelings, you can’t eliminate them. They’re still there and they’re still affecting your behavior. By developing your emotional awareness and connecting with even the unpleasant emotions, though, you’ll gain greater control over how you think and act.

HOW TO READ BODY LANGUAGE

Once you’ve developed your abilities to manage stress and recognize emotions, you’ll start to become better at reading the nonverbal signals sent by others. It’s also important to:

PAY ATTENTION TO INCONSISTENCIES. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. Is the person saying one thing, but their body language conveying something else? For example, are they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?

LOOK AT NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION SIGNALS as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Taken together, are their nonverbal cues consistent—or inconsistent—with what their words are saying?

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Don’t dismiss your gut feelings. If you get the sense that someone isn’t being honest or that something isn’t adding up, you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues.

EVALUATING NONVERBAL SIGNALS

FACIAL EXPRESSION – What is their face showing? Is it masklike and unexpressive, or emotionally present and filled with interest?

TONE OF VOICE – Does the person’s voice project warmth, confidence, and interest, or is it strained and blocked?

POSTURE AND GESTURE – Is their body relaxed or stiff and immobile? Are their shoulders tense and raised, or relaxed?

TOUCH – Is there any physical contact? Is it appropriate to the situation? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?

INTENSITY – Does the person seem flat, cool, and disinterested, or over-the-top and melodramatic?

Timing and place – Is there an easy flow of information back and forth? Do nonverbal responses come too quickly or too slowly?

SOUNDS – Do you hear sounds that indicate interest, caring or concern from the person?

WHAT OUR EYES MEAN IN COMMUNICATION

The old saying that “eyes are a reflection of your inner self” holds true in most cases. There are a lot of meanings to eye contact. It can be a glaring look when a person is defiant or angry. A stare when we see something unusual about the person (staring obtrusively is rude!). A glazed-over look when we are hopelessly in love with the person. It can also be a direct look when we are talking and trying to make a point.

In all instances, we use our eyes as a level of communication with the other person. We also avoid a direct look from another person if we have something to hide. The police use it as a means to detect if the person is telling the truth or not. So unless you are a very accomplished liar in most cases you will feel uneasy when you lie! Also sometimes a person feels uncomfortable looking another person in the eye due to shyness. This trait is also present with other signs of shyness such as a slight stammer and sometimes blush. Otherwise, it could just be that the person has a short attention span for anything you have to say.

EYE CONTACT IN EVENTS

Our eyes also reflect our sincerity, integrity, and comfort when communicating with another person. This is why having good eye contact while conversing is the indication that the communication has gone on well. How is eye contact related to events? Well, events are a form and means of communication, be it to send out a message, to educate or even to introduce. A good event management company will realize that eye contact during communication and speech is important. Take for instance a presentation event where you have a speaker and an audience.

One of the main items of importance during event planning will be the camera and projection screen. Another item of importance is the cameraman. One point to note is that you can obtain a good event management app to manage your checklist for all these items. Notice how during the presentation the cameraman will focus on the face of the speaker. On cue when the speaker makes a point, the cameraman will focus on the speaker’s eyes. This is to establish a contact between speaker and audience through the big screen so that the audience can feel a connection between the speaker and his or her audience. When you notice this in any presentation that you go to, make sure to take note of the event solution company and the cameraman! They have their act well-rehearsed!

EYES AND THE BODY LANGUAGE

Eye contact is a form of body language which is important during communication. How we present ourselves and communicate with others aside from talking is by our body language. Our body language speaks more than words which then logically accounts for a bigger percentage of our communication skills. Therefore our eyes speak volumes about us and how we communicate.

SOME POINTS TO REMEMBER WHILE COMMUNICATING AND WHY EYE CONTACT IS IMPORTANT ARE:

·        Surprise! Eye contact is a sign that you happen to be a good listener! Now what has the eye got to do with listening? When you keep eye contact with the person you are talking to it indicates that you are focused and paying attention. It means that you are actually listening to what the person has to say. That is where the saying “Don’t just listen with your ears” comes from. So “listen” more than talk, everyone loves a good listener especially the opposite gender!

·        Your eyes are a way of building a connection with the other person. This could mean you like that person. You feel comfortable talking and communicating with the person or you just are plain falling in love with the person! Either way, the eyes say it all.

·        Avoiding eye contact could also mean that you do not want the person you are speaking with to know too much. It could be that you may not like the person. You do not want the person to know you like them or you do not feel comfortable with that person. These are the negative impacts of avoiding eye contact. Sometimes the other person might read it wrongly and therefore produce a negative feeling towards you as well.

·        A big part of eye contact is building trust. A person with whom you are talking to will be more likely to trust and respect you as eye contact indicates an openness in communication. It also tells the other person “Hey, I am confident and self-assured, you can trust me”. So if you hope to land that big contract or project, be trustworthy!

Practicing good eye contact is a skill for effective and vital communication and is most underrated and under-utilized. Keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to indicates interest and saying to the person “You are important and I am listening”. It is one of the “unseen” tools used in any event communication. An event management solution provided by Evenness will enable you to generate a survey and report based on your recent event. One of the questions you can post is how effective was your presentation. Did the presenter keep eye contact with the audience? Results of your survey will be useful in hosting future presentation events.