How to Gracefully Accept Feedback in Two Words

I’ll never forget the time I got direct feedback that made me stop in my tracks. I asked for feedback from a colleague about the behaviors that he needed from me in order to advance our relationship. One of his points was that he wanted me to “gracefully accept feedback” more often. When I read this, my heart almost stopped. I was mortified. Was I not listening when he offered constructive criticism? Was I acting like a jerk instead of embracing well-intentioned help? Was the negative self-talk in my head actually true? 

With great trepidation, I followed up in person with my colleague about the feedback. He told me that when he was trying to give me praise, all he wanted me to do was listen carefully, and say “thank you.” He said that it was important to him that I internalize his praise, as he was offering it to me so that I would continue to do the things that were working well. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and my heart returned to normal. Once again, my brain’s negative bias had spun a story that worked against me. I had no idea how much I was resisting recognition. 

Ever since, whenever I am blessed with praise or recognition, I make a point of stopping, listening carefully, and saying thank you. That, as I learned, is a much better way to receive positive feedback than deflection. 

#recognition #acceptance #growthmindset #feedback