How To Be a Good listener

Being a good listener is great quality as being a good speaker. Suppose you are telling someone something with great interest or want to share your joys and sorrows, but that person is not listening attentively, not showing any interest! How would you feel??Would you ever want to say something to him again??It won't be. So, it's very important to be a good listener. With this quality, people's trust can be gained, you can go very close to it.?We know what the world is like in the eyes of others.

Let's see how to be a good listener:

1)?Listen more, say less

When someone speaks, give them a chance to say more.?Say less to yourself.?Keep an eye on the speaker’s eye and listen to him, it will make him realize that it is important to you.?Repeatedly moving your eyes or doing other work indicates your busyness and unwillingness to listen to it.

So, when the other side is talking, just listen.?Let's briefly state your point later.

2)?Take enough time to judge the speaker

Even if a speaker's words create a negative attitude towards him, do not judge him immediately.?Keep listening patiently.?You can't have an idea about him until you know the whole story, because there may be a different twist in the story later!

Again, do not try to solve a problem as soon as you talk about it.?First, listen to the whole problem well, put yourself in his position and think.?Then think about which way will be good for him.?Moreover, when the speech is over, the speaker will explain with his expression that he now wants to hear the solution or advice from you.?So, wait till that moment.

3)?Don't say anything compared to yourself

When someone tells you about his suffering, never say anything compared to yourself.?However, your pain is more than his pain.?Because whoever has trouble is like a mountain to him.?At that time, it is not possible to explain the amount of pain to him, so it should not be.

When listening, use the words 'we' rather than 'I' & 'my'.?These words ('I' & 'my') express your self-centeredness and discourage the speaker from speaking about himself.

4) Express empathy

Respond to the speaker's words when he speaks.?Nod your head and agree, so that he understands that you are listening to him. Use empathic words/prepositions when necessary.?But yes, not by stopping him but in the gap between his words.?And your response should not be a lie, or it will hurt him.

5)?Try to remember what was said

That's an important aspect of being a good listener.?Try to remember roughly what the speaker says.?Otherwise, later you will sit down with irrelevant questions that will embarrass him.

Suppose the speaker is telling you about his problems with his close friend, Rohan, and you have not seen Rohan before.?So you should at least remember his name so that you can move your brain forward with the speaker's flow of events. Maybe you do not have a strong memory, in which case you can ask once, but you shouldn't ask repeatedly, it will make him realize that you are not listening to him well.

?6)?Find out later

It should not be that you only listen to the person during the conversation and do not think about it later.?If you really want to show that you're giving importance, you can ssask the next time you meet him again or by message or phone call.?What is the news about the incident now, etc.?

Of course, there is a difference between seeking and disturbing.?Suppose he says he is having trouble with his job. In this case, if you repeatedly ask him about this, he will be embarrassed and annoyed. Even the question will arise in his mind whether you are praying that he does not have a job!?So, searching depends a lot on the subject as well.

7) What not to do

To be a good listener, it is important to know some things that cannot be done.

1. Do not interrupt the speaker in the middle of a sentence while he is speaking.

2. Ask politely if you have something to know or say anything without interrogating or arguing.

3. Don't try to change the subject, even if it's a little uncomfortable.

4.??As soon as you start talking about a problem, don't say "Everything will be fine" or "Hey, there's nothing to end."?These things don't ease his problems or discomfort.?So, listen to his whole problem instead of paying attention.?To be a good listener, attention is important.

8) Assure your loyalty?

If the speaker tells you something private and confidential, you will make it clear that you are a faithful person who can keep your mouth shut.?Say that he can trust you, no matter what is said, that word will be in you and him, and that you follow through on what you say.?Even then, if he doesn't want to trust you completely, he won't want to open up completely.?You'll understand it from here.?In that case, don't force him to open up or trust you, as it will further make you suspicious.

And yes, when you say that the word will be hidden, let it be true, that is, you should say it from the heart.?Unless there are circumstances that prevent you from keeping yourself from it.?If you can't be truly faithful, you'll never be a good listener.

9) Encourage the speaker by repeating his words

Encourage the speaker by repeating his words occasionally.?For example, you can say in context, "Oh that means you didn't go there."?I wouldn't have gone."

Revise the summary. It is useful to understand what the speaker said by revising it in your own words. This reassures the speaker that you really heard what he said and that you got what he meant. If you are not sure whether you heard or understood correctly, use phrases like 'I may have heard wrong...' or 'I could be wrong...' with repetition. A good listener encourages the speaker to speak.

10)?Ask meaningful and logical questions

Asking meaningful and logical questions that prove to be listening attentively.?If you have listened well to the speaker or events, then you can ask strong, beautiful, and logical questions.?On the other hand, if you ask unwanted, unreasonable questions, the speaker will understand that you have not listened well or understood him.?As an audience, asking relevant and logical questions is indicative of your interest.

11)?In the case of giving advice

There must be impartiality in advising.?No one can be favored, not even the speaker.?Otherwise, you will doubt whether you have any interest in it.?Do not give priority to your own experience, because there is no such thing as the same thing that will happen to what happened to you.?So just mention your experience and describe in detail what it will be like to go which way.?Then tell him what you think is best for him.?Only then will it be easier for him to make a decision.

As a mentor, an audience's job is to help the speaker make the right decisions, not to make decisions on his behalf.

12) Observe the speaker's gesture?

This is one of the prerequisites of being a good listener. The speaker often hides quite a bit of the word between the gestures. By listening to his words as well as observing his gestures, one can easily understand his words more deeply.