HOW TO BE A GOOD HOMIE TO MāORI

"The biggest risk to Māori is a well meaning and well intentioned Non Māori..... I will let that sit with you for a bit."

Aotearoa is facing some interesting and exciting times in the political and social diaspora.? The current political climate has raised a lot of? interesting kōrero over the last couple of months. I’ve been watching and reflecting on the various social media posts, by individuals, organisations and movements and have experienced lots of different emotions. Sadness, celebration, anxiety and anger. I’m sure there is a psychology paper somewhere that will have a model that represents the emotional highway that people will travel on when seeing the big shifts in the political agenda.??

The insight that has overwhelmingly struck me, are the levels of non-Māori reaction to the current policy changes that impact directly on Māori. Not the ones waving a Hobson’s Pledge flag, but the response of those that support Māori aspirations for Tino Rangatiratanga.?

Those of you that know me, know that I have been brought up in a very Māori environment. I grew up with my weekends full of Marae working bees, taiaha wānanga, kapahaka noho and hangi preparation.? In Nelson I would probably be known as the annoying Papua New Guinean boy that hangs out with Māori. I have been blessed by 35yrs sitting underneath their korowai of care and I have been profoundly impacted. It has shaped who I am today.?

Through trial and error, being told off and asked to sit down and be quiet, I have learned some rules to be a good homie to my Māori colleagues and staff. They are not all the rules, but the ones that work for me; keep me pono (genuine) and tika (correct).? I wanted to share them with those that want to stand beside their Maori colleagues, friends and whānau. I have separated them into two categories, two things I do (how I behave) and two things I understand (how I approach).?

RULE #1: I NEVER TELL MāORI HOW TO BE A MāORI.

The only criteria for being Māori is whakapapa. Bloodlines and genealogy, nothing else.? Remember those first two sentences. I know that some of you reading this would have been on a Te tiriti ō Waitangi course, perhaps even lucky enough to attend the Treaty wall walk with Dr Simone Bull.? You might have spent some time on a Marae, stood on stage, swung a poi or attended a Te Reo Māori course or two.?

The diversity of Māori is as diverse as their genealogy.? Some Māori are gifted orators and steeped in their language, some have been brought up by their grandparents, some have not.? Some swing poi, some swing shovels and gavels. However they choose to be, however they chose to bring their excellence to this world and share themselves, is Māori. Refer to the first two sentences.?

The weight of expectation on Māori to choose a side, Red or Blue, too much or too little, Treaty or Te Tiriti and other worthless binary decisions is less than helpful.? To be a good homie, don't add to that expectation.? Māori are diverse and adaptable, they can think at a national level and to a individual level.? However they choose to be Māori is theirs to self determine, there is no need to tell them how you think, each is on their own journey.?

The only criteria for being Māori is whakapapa. Bloodlines and genealogy, nothing else.

RULE #2: I ALWAYS INTERRELATE, NEVER OVERTAKE

Nō hea koe? That’s usually the question that pops up in your first meeting with Māori.? It comes in disguises like, ‘who are you’ or ‘tell me about your bones”.? The premise is the same, tell me more about yourself. It's sometimes misunderstood as intrusive and a bit strange, why don't you just want to know my name??

Connection for Māori is paramount.? The information that you provide about your ancestors, how you got here and what landmarks connect you to your whenua.? Do you talk about your mum and dad? Do you speak about your 13th uncle removed.? It’s a way to connect, not the only way, but a way to weave in the human fabric of the hui, workshop, school sports team or business strategy session. If you have been lucky enough to be apart of that, you will notice people connect to interrelate.?

• “Oh i have Scottish heritage as well”
• ”yes, I am from Palmerston North too”
• “I have heaps of cats”
• “I was in the army as well”
• “I also have teenage kids”

I have been at hui where people who have worked together for years and have learned new things about their colleagues.? It’s a deeper connection, where you share the most important aspects of yourself.? It’s healthy.?

The initial premise of our founding document, whichever one you choose to believe, is how two peoples would interrelate with each other. Not overtake each other.? Well that’s the original reason. If we genuinely put trust in that premise the fear of overtaking is void.? The magic of connection and interrelationships, agnostic of background, ethnicity and social status is focussed on how we journeyed to this moment. Hold true to your blood line, ancestry, history and stories.? It’s encouraged in Te Ao Māori, its helped to make me proud of my own country, Māori remind me of that every time I meet with new Māori whānau, Nō hea koe Ivan??

RULE #3: I UNDERSTAND BY MāORI FOR MāORI.

Many of you will have the opportunity to lead or be responsible for business, social and government policy and initiatives that either influences or directly impacts Māori. Whether it be your staff, your constituents, your colleagues or your homies on the school parents group.? I have been given that opportunity.? That may be due to a number of factors.? Experience, hierarchy or simply no Māori in the whare, regardless, you should approach your role as temporary.? What would it take to send the elevator down, to build the capability for Māori to take control of their own destiny? How much more impactful would it be to facilitate the participation and power of Māori to either succeed or learn from the experience. In my experience, its longer and harder; but that’s why its pono and tika.?

I often hear the phrase, “we should co design with Māori?”? I think people forget that co design is a mindset, and its only 25% of the process. Co discover, co define, co design and co decide.?

I know my leadership and position is temporary, but I can make my impact, permanent.?

RULE #4: I UNDERSTAND MāORI GRIEF

When I was 24 yrs old I was invited to the South Island Māori probation officer hui on the Westcoast, a cool little place called Blackball. At the start of that hui I got up and proceeded to go through my mihi, speaking in Te Reo Māori and ended off with a waiata.? I was showing off, apologies I was 24. As I spoke I watched a beautifully graceful Māori women begin to weep, as the room continued through the process she began to sob. I learned later that she was part of a cohort of Māori children that were displaced from their whānau in the north and placed into a whānau in the south.? For whatever reason, whether it was pono or tika, I learned that day that the grief of Māori, for the loss of their language and culture is a deep scar.?

I learned that day that the grief of Māori, for the loss of their language and culture is a deep scar.?

My understanding of Te Reo me ona tikanga Māori was a privilege, afforded to me by happenstance.? It was a gift that was taken away for so many. Māori continue to grieve and often that sadness is portrayed as anger and protest, but the grief remains.??

As a leader I have come to understand and recognise that grief.? It helps me to understand how it plays out in intimate settings like HR conversations and public settings like protests at parliament. I dont own that grief, neither do I apologise for it, but understand it and in my approach, I cater for that grief.? Whether its a mihi or a HR discussion, I respond through action and care.??

As I said, these aren’t all the rules, but they have helped me to be a good homie to my Māori colleagues.? They are agnostic of political leaning and certainly not designed by theory, I have been told off and made mistakes, its part of the process.? If you are pono and tika, the kaupapa will never change.? Be a good homie.?

I started off writing this piece identifying the biggest risk to Māori.? I want to end with encouragement.? The greatest weapon to Māori is a non Māori that doesn’t tell them what to do, shares the stage, empowers and understands their grief. Be a good ancestor whānau, our kids are about to do amazing things.?