How to Be Good in a (Digital) Room

By Randy Walton?

Think about how many Zoom or Teams meetings you’ve been in just this week. If you’re anything like me, you're probably overwhelmed by all these digital communiques—wondering if there’s an award for the person who can attend the most teleconferences in a day, or perhaps for crafting the perfect emoji response via Slack conveying, "I'm amused, and yes, I'm still paying attention.”

Yes, we’re living in an era where digital platforms are now the primary venues for professional and personal communication. Therefore, mastering the fine art of digital interaction is more vital than ever. Unfortunately, these platforms—though helpful in many ways—often filter out so much of the rich nuances of face-to-face exchanges. These include body language and tone, underscoring the importance of how we convey and interpret messages in our brave new world.

In the last few years I come to recognize our dwindling communication skills as a societal and professional challenge—and that was before COVID-19 sent us home to work digitally. This is a big reason I penned my new book: Hidden In Plain Sight: Communications Secrets You are Just Not Seeing—now available on Amazon.

Central to the book’s thesis is the principle that clarity and emotional resonance largely rest with the sender—for instance, the person initiating a text exchange. This perspective invites us to up our online game to overcome the inherent limitations of digital mediums. Get this right and you will build vibrant, authentic connections; flub it and you risk confusing your recipient at the very least. Flub it some more and you may blow up a big business deal—all because you forgot to include an emoji to demonstrate your intended tone.

In this spirit, allow me to introduce the twin pillars of digital communication: informational content and emotional context. Once we understand their utility, we’ll explore helpful strategies to deal with common digital communication pitfalls so you can set yourself up for success.

Informational Content: The “What” of Communication

The informational aspect of our messages refers to the raw data or facts we wish to convey. In a digital setting, where words on a screen are often our main way of exchanging info, choosing carefully is paramount. The clarity of our message, its conciseness, even its relevance to the conversation at hand are all critical factors determining how well our message will be understood. However, the informational content is only half the communication battle; it sets the stage but lacks the nuance of face-to-face interaction.

It doesn’t cover how the message will be received. That leads us to…

?

Emotional Context: The “How” of Communication

Equally important is the emotional context of a message—the tone, the implied feelings, even the subtext accompanying our words. This component is often where digital communication falters. The absence of vocal tones, facial expressions, and body language can gum up the works, harming our ability to convey the message we wish to impart.

Moreover, achieving our desired emotional impact requires us to be intentional about how our message might be perceived. Knowing that it’s up to us as the sender to get this right, it’s key to infuse our message’s content with the right emotional cues to bridge the gap left by digital mediums. Emoticons, punctuation, and thoughtful word choices are invaluable tools to convey warmth, empathy, or urgency, mirroring the emotional nuances of all those in-person conversations we take for granted.

To reiterate, the twin pillars’ concept emphasizes the responsibility of the sender in digital communication. While we cannot control a receiver's environment nor their state of mind when they get our message, we can do our best to meticulously craft what we send to ensure it’s both clear and conveys the intended emotional effect.

How might we do this?

By anticipating how our words might be interpreted and by taking ownership of the emotional tone we wish to convey. Just think: A simple text to reschedule a meeting with a prospect can come off cold if you don’t take the time to craft the message with the listener’s possible reaction in mind. And what if that unintended reaction damages your rapport—killing the deal? This alone shows the importance of getting digital communication right.

To help you further in this regard, below are practical strategies on how to be better in a digital room, ensuring that each of your online interactions comes off as intended, no matter the medium—or its limitations.

?

1. Be Clear and Concise

Keep messages to the point, with a clear subject line for emails. Avoid technical language and complex sentences that might confuse or annoy the recipient. No one likes long emails. There’s a reason why TLDR is a thing!

2. Infuse Empathy into Your Interactions

Prioritize the other person by considering how your message will be received. Tailor your language to reflect you understand the personality of those you know. For those you’ve just met, do your best to think like they might.

3. Use Emoticons Savvily

A smiley face emoji can often do just the trick, softening what might be otherwise perceived as a harsh command, especially to a team subordinate.

5. Use the "Pause Before Sending" Rule

Take advantage of the time digital communication affords by reviewing messages—and then reviewing again before sending. (Unlike IRL, asynchronous communication enables you to respond more thoughtfully and deliberately.)

Common Pitfalls in Digital Communication

Even with the best intentions, digital communication can sometimes miss the mark, especially due to common pitfalls that disrupt clarity and connection.. Here are some of the biggest challenges and how to avoid them.

?

1. Misinterpreting Tone

Lack of vocal cues can lead to misread messages. Make clarity and warmth your North Star, using emoticons when helpful to express your intended sentiment.

2. Overreliance on Digital Communication

Recognize when digital tools fall short for nuanced conversations. Complement texts and emails with calls or video chats, especially for complex and/or emotional charged interactions.

5. Failure to Personalize

Ever received a generic form letter you’re pretty sure an AI wrote? How’d it make you feel about the person who sent it? Always personalize your messages in the age of so much automation.

****

The above strategies and insights can help you build and sustain stronger relationships in both personal and professional spheres. More, practicing clear, empathetic, and responsive digital communication is bound to result in interactions that are more effective and more meaningful.

Although mastering digital communication is an ongoing process, with the right mindset and tools, it is undoubtedly within your grasp. Want to learn to learn how to be better in a digital room? Check out my new book or contact me.