How To Be a Good Colleague and Coworker

Has anyone ever brought you coffee or helped you finish a project? This likely made your time in the workplace better and influenced the type of colleague you wanted to be. So what does it mean to be a good coworker? It begins with never being afraid to offer help and always giving credit where credit is due.?

By Helen Harris

What does it mean to be “good” at anything we are or anything we try to be?

Take, for instance, a good friend or a good parent or grandparent who raises confident, caring children who will one day give back to society.

?Or the good college student who goes on to have success in their career because of good networking habits and study skills. ?

And now, in particular, focus on the thriving professional who forms meaningful relationships with coworkers and fosters a culture in which other colleagues feel welcome. This would be many people’s definition of a good coworker — and one we would all like to have.?

But what does it take for someone to get there??

To have a solid basis for success in any of our relationships, it starts with the simple elements of communication, being open to feedback and finding an environment where we want to be in the first place. This means finding a workplace with a culture that has values parallel to your own, as you are likely to have to build friendships — or at least working friendships — while on company time.?

How Personal Should You Get With Your Coworkers??

“We spend most of our time in the workplace; honestly, we spend more time at work than we do with our own families,” said Deirdre E. Orr, senior HR leader, talent development expert, speaker and corporate trainer. “Working closely with the same people day to day, you get the opportunity to learn a lot of things about them. You learn about their hobbies, about their families and sometimes some of their pain points in work and in life.”

And although Orr states that work friendships are healthy and fine, she does encourage you to filter how much personal information you divulge to others in the office.

Dana Leavy-Detrick adds that having a colleague in the office can be beneficial in terms of sharing knowledge, working through challenges, and helping each other create a plan for professional development and advancement. However,? your obligation remains to your job and the organization.

“Putting friendships first can cause tensions in situations like vying for promotions , projects, or if there’s a restructuring in which one of you is managing the other, it could be difficult to keep one another accountable when there’s a hierarchy involved.”?

Adding to the above points, Fast Company cites research from a study by the University of Exeter. The study found that those who conceal too many personal characteristics may have lower self-esteem, less job satisfaction or reduced commitment at work. However, the source — like Orr and Leavy-Detrick — advises against spilling your life story.?

“But while it’s true that people need to be themselves at work, it’s also wise to consider how much you share and with whom,” reported Fast Company. “People don’t have to know everything about you, in order for you to feel known — you can feel respected and appreciated even if those around you don’t know your deepest secrets.”?

Ways You Can Assist Your Colleagues

Maybe you’ve noticed the new girl sighing one too many times as she rubs her brow. Maybe you see ways a well-established colleague could improve and know it’s affecting overall performance.??

Maybe, in general, you have tips to help your team that will make everyone’s lives easier.?

You want to help — but don’t want to be presumptuous.

“There are times our colleagues need us to show up for them that don't require the kind of power we attribute to high-level leaders,” said Tara Jaye Frank , author of “The Waymakers,” equity strategist and c-suite advisor.?

Frank suggests some tips for a range of situations:??

• When there is a new team member who might need some help.?

“Maybe you had to learn the ropes the hard way,” said Frank. “But they don't have to if you choose to help them be successful. You can pull the curtain back for new colleagues and show them the Wizard.”??

Examples of you “queuing” a coworker into their new workplace could include letting them know things such as the manager hating phone calls out of the blue or that the "optional” Friday meeting isn’t really optional.?

• When there is "noise" in the ether about a coworker.?

Frank states that if you hear about (or notice) a colleague's performance in ways that are threatening to their ongoing growth or longevity at the company, it is never wrong for you to step in and offer help.?

“Good colleagues don't stand against the wall biting their fingernails, watching and waiting for the chips to fall. Pull them aside and give them the intel. Be careful not to share useless gossip, but specific input on actions that relate to job effectiveness is fair game,” said Frank.?

• When there is a major transformation afoot: Be kind to everyone.?

“The threat of a job change or loss means different things to different people,” said Frank. “To you, it might mean severance while you travel to that island resort you've been eyeing. But to another, it could represent something much more trying.”?

• When someone needs credit for their work.??

Frank gives the following example:?

If there is someone who never seems to get credit for their work (or someone else takes credit instead), don’t be afraid to offer that individual praise.?

“You'll send signals to people in the room that when you see (or hear) someone being erased, you should say something,” said Frank.?

Finally, Orr suggests any combination of these additional resources to assist your colleague:?

• Arranging or suggesting regular check-ins with their team lead
• Helping them find a professional mentor
• Suggesting a few professional development trainings/courses
• Developing a plan to improve?

Basic Workplace Etiquette?

Aside from helping your colleagues in times of need, there are some basic guidelines we all wish our coworkers would follow to maintain a happy, healthy workplace.?

While some of these are as basic as washing our hands, maintaining personal space and not playing loud music, there are many facets of workplace etiquette — especially as much of today’s workforce is virtual.?

But to start with some basic tips, Orr notes the following for physical offices:?

• Be mindful not to overdo it when you wear perfumes/colognes.
• In small work areas, refrain from popping popcorn or microwaving fish.
• When listening to music, remember to utilize headphones.
• Respect others’ workspaces.
• Dress within your company dress code.
• Be punctual.
• Stay home if you are sick.

“Many offices these days use open floor plans or co-working space,” said Leavy-Detrick. “So be mindful of the needs of others around you. This includes keeping the level of your music or phone conversations to a respectful volume, being aware of any potential irritants that you bring into the office (fragrances, food, animals), and also food allergies that could pose a hazard to your coworkers.”??

And to move on to a grayer area, Orr provides the following tips for the virtual work environment:?

• Communicate often and effectively.
• Work in a quiet/private area.
• Show up to virtual meetings on time and professionally.
• Be visible and available.
• Dress professionally.?
• Set boundaries at home to help aid with productivity.
• Be sure to practice mindfulness activities to help with burnout, stress and isolation.

And if you are ever unsure of where a certain behavior falls on the “appropriateness” meter in the workplace and how your coworkers might feel about something, Leavy-Detrick also suggests a confidential poll so that everyone can safely voice their opinions.

So why does maintaining good office etiquette and keeping an eye out for our coworkers and having their “backs” matter? You’re not wrong to be wondering how this will ultimately benefit you.?

The answer comes in what Leavy-Detrick stresses: Some of the most valuable experiences working professionals have had throughout their careers (and those that helped them build their resumes) are related to mentoring and developing talent within their organizations.?

You want to be a part of something good, build something good and help make your coworkers better, as this will only make you better in the end.?

“Don’t shy away from helping others out of fear that it may overshadow you,” said Leavy-Detrick. “Building strong work relationships is an investment in both your career and the careers of your peers. Having strong relationships at work helps you gain buy-in and support from people you need to move projects forward. It will not only help you in your current role but may serve as an asset in the future when you look for work or need to recruit top talent in your organization.”?

Top Takeaways?

How To Be a Good Colleague and Coworker

• Being a good colleague and coworker starts with the simple elements of communication , being open to feedback and finding an environment where you want to be in the first place.?
• Work friendships are healthy and fine, but you should filter how much personal information you divulge to others in the office.
• “There are times our colleagues need us to show up for them that don't require the kind of power we attribute to high-level leaders.”
• While some workplace etiquette is as basic as washing your hands, maintaining personal space and not playing loud music, there are many facets of workplace etiquette — especially as much of today’s workforce is virtual.?
• If you are ever unsure of where a certain behavior falls on the “appropriateness” meter in the workplace and how your coworkers might feel about something, you can suggest a confidential poll so that everyone can safely voice their opinions.
• Some of the most valuable experiences working professionals have had throughout their careers (and those that helped them build their resumes) are related to mentoring and developing talent within their organizations.