HOW TO BE (AND HOW NOT TO BE) A GOLDEN MC.

?Like millions of other people, I watched the Golden Globe awards last night, and was less than impressed with host Jo Koy.

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Unlike millions of people, I have hosted quite a few high profile events myself over the years in Canada and elsewhere, including The Canadian Screen Awards and Canada’s top 50 Companies and CEO’s, so I’d like to offer some insight on what went wrong and how it can be avoided in case you or someone you know might be in charge of hiring (or perhaps even being) an event MC sometime soon.

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1.???? First things first, be willing to put in the work.

?Hosting a show is a gig that comes with some research. You need to know who your audience is, what they may (and may not) be willing to talk/laugh about ?and finally, but maybe most importantly, what they are most likely to NOT laugh at. Example: Celebrating Taylor Swift for the world’s most successful music tour turned concert movie event: GOOD. Reducing an industry-leading, game-changing woman to someone who is shown “too much” attending her boyfriend’s football games? Dumb.

2.???? Never, ever, ever throw your writers under the bus.

It’s been a tough year for writers in Hollywood. And it’s always a tough year for writers in Canada. The last thing they need is a host who blames a joke not going over on his or her writing team. One of the reasons hosts get paid well for a high-profile gig like the Golden Globes is that they are the face of the show. If it goes well, you can bask in the glory. If it doesn’t, well, you bask in the darkness. Sure, you may be delivering a joke you didn’t write, but if it comes out of your mouth, guess what? It’s yours. Own it. Never say, “I didn’t write that”. Find a way to save a joke gone wrong. Like when the late Norm MacDonald was hosting the Canadian Screen Awards a while back and I was part of the writing team. Norm really wanted to do a joke that involved Catherine O’Hara. No one in the writing room thought it would work.? He did it anyway. It bombed. He followed that up with ‘the writers told me that one wouldn’t work. They were right.”

Of course, the exception to this rule is when you write the entire monologue yourself. In which case, you can completely acknowledge the writer’s shortcomings.

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3.???? Have a reason for everything you say.

A hosting gig doesn’t last a lifetime. It just seems like it when it’s not going well. As I watched the crowd visibly wither in response to Koy’s hosting last night, the comedian/MC in me was still pulling for him to right the ship. The opportunity came when he acknowledged that it was Nicholas Cage’s 64th birthday! It got the expected applause of recognition. But then, well, I can’t remember what was said next. It should have been something complimentary. Maybe a statement on how, 64 is the new 29, right Timothy Chalamet? Or on how not all parts of Nicholas Cage are 64. I don’t know for sure. I’ve only been thinking of this for a few seconds. All I know is, going into the crowd to acknowledge something without a memorable follow up is a missed save opportunity. It should also be noted that the highlight of the night, presenter wise, for me, was Will Ferrell and Kristen Wigg, as they so often are. It doesn’t hurt that they are known commodities, with a long history working together, whom the audience is clearly cheering for. Still, they did more in a few minutes creating goodwill, including working with the band, than the host was able to accomplish over the course of the entire evening. Which, I imagine, he would blame on the band.

4.???? Remember that it is not about YOU.

This may seem like the most obvious thing in the world but it’s amazing to me how many event MC’s I have seen that try to make an entire event about them when their job is to kick things off and celebrate honorees. No one comes to an event based solely on the MC. All of the nominees in attendance at the Golden Globes would have been there, regardless of who was hosting. Though they may have been more excited about known commodities like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and more trepidatious had Ricky Gervais returned (who certainly has his own ideas on how to host events), all good hosts know that their job is to kick off an event on a high note, bring it back up when it wanes, and then simply get out of the way to celebrate the evening’s nominees. It’s a nice bonus if some of the things the MC says are remembered fondly afterward. It’s a failure if the first thing people are talking about is how bad the MC was.

5.???? Make sure the target of each joke is laughing the loudest in the room.

This last tip is a dangerous one because it requires a certain amount of experience in comedy and, as we’ve all seen, even that might not be enough. But if an event MC is going to make jokes about people in the audience, they should be reasonably assured that the target of the joke will be laughing the loudest. It’s always a gamble. Even if what you say is factually true, that doesn’t make it funny. And even if it is funny, but the target of the joke doesn’t get it, it turns not funny very quickly. So my main advice to MCs is to build up experience performing. Know how to read rooms full of people and have an internal rolodex of responses ready should something not go as planned. ?Above all, make the person you are making fun of laugh the loudest of anyone in the room. Then you’re having fun WITH. Not fun at. And everyone can join in the fun.

Anyway, that’s what I took from the Golden Globes last night. Hope you can use this as a guide towards your next hiring of an MC or, indeed, trying to master the MC role for yourself. Good luck!