How to Go From Chaos to Clarity With the Power of Self-Possession
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How to Go From Chaos to Clarity With the Power of Self-Possession

Dear Readers,

We all get stuck in the weeds of our own problems, and often lack the perspective and clarity to find healthy and empowering pathways toward resolution.

I created the P.O.W.E.R. Framework as a tool we can use to coach ourselves through conflicts, challenges, and change, and to do so in a curious, self-possessed manner.

Have a thorny issue you’ve been wrestling with? Give this a try.


Copyright Cara Houser 2023-2024

So what exactly is Self-Possession anyway?

The dictionary definition is one-dimensional and unsatisfying. It defines this concept as: "control of one's emotions or reactions especially when under stress."

Here's what it's really about.


Many of us have been conditioned to put everything else first (self-neglect). We then layer on more, sometimes lovely, stuff to do (self-care), before mastering self-possession (driven by internal values).

Self-possession is about just that, being in possession of our own self, inside and out. It's about being deeply connected to our intuition, values, and innate worth as a human being.

And also about knowing, respecting, and loving ourselves such that our thoughts, actions, and habits are in alignment with our internal values. In this way of being, we don't waste time, energy, or money on things that don't really matter to us.


Self-possession is achieved not through "controlling ourselves." but through recognizing how we unwittingly give our personal power away (often by hustling for external validation or perfectionism) and reclaiming it.

We have what we need inside us already. Perhaps paradoxically, the more we respect, love, and nourish ourselves, the more we are able to share our light, love, and gifts with our loved ones and the world.

We can’t give to others what we haven’t learned to give ourselves. In this way, taking good strong care of ourselves, inside and out is one of the most generous things we can do.


Here’s a mini practice activity you can try to strengthen your self-possession muscle.

Make a quick list of all the people, activities, and things that matter most to you in your life — the ones that give it meaning and light you up.

Are there any that are not receiving the time, attention, or energy you wish they were? How might you make room for one of them this week? Reflect on how making space and time for what matters most makes you feel.


“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” - Alice Walker

*****

? Ready to go from chaos to clarity, self-neglect to self-possession, and burned out to lit up??

?? Here's the playbook -- BurnedOutToLitUp.com

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#selfpossession #stepintoyourpower #chaostoclarity #carahouser

Love the P.O.W.E.R. Framework! Can't wait to try it out. ??

Omar Halabieh

Tech Director @ Amazon Payment Services | #1 LinkedIn Arab World Creator in Management & Leadership | Follow me for Daily Insights on Leadership, Management and Career | Mentor

9 个月

Particularly appreciated the W!

Nicodemus Were

I help make your brand shine online through comprehensive Digital Marketing strategies that enhance your presence - driving results you can measure.

9 个月

Time to sink deep into our self awareness. Great share. ?Cara E. Houser

Marcie Towle

Coach for Parents of Challenging Teens and Adults ?? Parent Coach, Relationship Healer, Confidence Builder ?? Let’s Connect (on LinkedIn and) you to your kids!

9 个月

Great article Cara. I love your point that the more we care for ourselves, the better we're able to give to others. It's not selfish to put ourselves first! If we want to be the change we want to see, we need a deep well of light and love. Each of us has the power to do that for ourselves.

Dora Vanourek

Coach in Chris Donnelly's The Creator Accelerator | xIBM Consulting | xPwC | Certified Executive Coach | #1 ???? creator

9 个月

What a powerful POWER framework, going deep into our self-awareness. Saved - thank you ?Cara E. Houser ??

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