How to give and receive criticism

Whether you are on a stage performing, in business serving a client, or hanging out with your family and friends, this is bound to come up sometime.?According to Merriam-Webster, the word criticism means, and I quote, “1a:?the act of usually criticizing unfavorably seeking encouragement rather than criticism b: critical observation or remark an unfair criticism had a minor criticism of the design c: critique 2:?the art of evaluating or analyzing works of art or literature also: writings expressing such evaluation or analysis an anthology of literary criticism 3:?the scientific investigation of literary documents (such as the Bible) regarding such matters as origin, text, composition, or history.?Throughout this article, I will explain where criticism originates from and how to give and receive it properly in several situations.

Perhaps you have been with a co-worker, and he/she blurted out that you either did something wrong or forgot to do something in front of a group of people.?Maybe someone you befriended acted in a manner that made you question when you are even friends.?Regardless of where it happens, it is still inappropriate behavior and has to be handled in a delicate but direct manner, so it doesn’t occur again.

Before it even gets this far, there are things you can do to prevent or at least mitigate it from being a direct insensitive comment.?Usually, these statements are made because of their EGO and obsession with power.?Other times it happens because of a misunderstanding and becomes a full-blown disaster.?Whenever your company hires someone, they should explain the expectations of each functional group, person, and the management overseeing them.

How could you implement a procedure to get everyone on board with proper communication protocol in the office??There are many things, such as internet usage, harassment, and general communication policies.?For the scope of this article, I will keep it to just the specific parts of the communication policy that deal with giving and receiving criticism in the office or the field.

For your office hiring procedure, ask questions about how they would handle feedback, such as:?Do you find it necessary to receive constructive feedback regularly??If the person is against feedback, then wrap up with your next question, thank them for their time, and let them know you will be getting back to let them know when you will be deciding on who will be hired.?You already know this person doesn’t fit your criteria since he/she was not open to constructive criticism.

If the candidate responds in the affirmative to wanting regular feedback, then create a scenario that may take place in their job where this would take place.?For example, if you were hiring a tech support representative, they were given several computers to update.?

Joe, Thank you for working diligently to get all the computers upgraded well before the client requested a time frame. Just to let you know, a call was just received indicating the upgrades needed to be completed according to the specifications.?We need to ensure that every detail is being followed, and it seems from the reports received by the client that several steps still need to be included.?Were you aware that the task still needs to be completed to the SOP as requested by the client??

One type of candidate may answer by saying:?No, I followed everything to the letter, and the only reason I could think of is that many of the staff members still need to log out of their network applications fully.?Could you let me know if you told anyone about this??Yes, I did mention it to their manager, and he told me to continue as it would not be a problem; they always do it this way.?I see; I was unaware of that, as that part of the discussion was not shared with me when they called to complain.?

Another candidate may answer the same scenario by saying:?No, I did everything on the sheet as per the SOP. Excellent, then why did the applications not get upgraded? I don’t know, technology and computers are always messing up.?Thank you for your time, and we will get back to you once we have reviewed all the other candidates. This was not an appropriate answer, and you have already mentally disqualified this candidate but have not let them know yet.

Spending time to put the candidate in the envisioned scenario is just the tool to determine how they would act after being hired.?However, many employers can’t be bothered as they are desperate to hire something and figure that they will worry about all that later if it comes up.?Let’s look at a scenario that happened, and we want to review how to handle it now that they have been an employee for months.

You are the HR Director for a theater, and you handle all of the permanent, temporary, and contract hires for all productions put on by your company.?One day, you are observing a tech week before the launch of a show that will be unveiled.?However, you notice one of the cast members telling another member something that gives you a bad taste in your mouth.?For this example, we have Mark, a cast member, and Joe, a second cast member.?Mark says, “Joe, don’t talk to the stage crew; just let the director talk to them,” a rude comment.?I understand that this might make sense; however, it could have been given in a much friendlier non-condescending way, such as “ Joe, the stage crew has been getting confused with many mixed messages and cues that have been different than the director has called for. We ask all cast members not to share details with the stage crew to mitigate confusion unless it is for their own scene. Do you see how much friendlier this is, and it accomplishes the same things?

People often speak without regard for other people’s feelings and take the time to express criticism in a constructive and friendly manner.?When criticism is exercised in a constructive and friendly manner, it is more likely to be followed without tarnishing the relationship between the parties.?Suppose you are the director of a large sales team and just received a call that your top salesperson is being pushy about the sale.

You know this guy is never pushy; however, it has been a rough quarter, and I know he has been stressed about reaching his numbers.?Hi Mike, would you come into my office for a second??Mike, you are one of our top sales reps at the company, and we are very grateful to have you on our team.?Today, we got a call from Mrs. Wilson, and she said she wanted a day to think it over with her husband, and you wouldn’t stop.?She told me they would still get the new swimming pull but wanted to confer with her husband because he was traveling.?When you present to anyone in the future, would you please respect people? If they say they want a day, give them that day to decide.?If they don’t say anything and you want to push, fine, but should they ask you to stop or come back, please respect that wish.?

Here is how I handled that:?first, I asked him to come to my office so we could meet in private, as there was no reason to call him out on it in front of other staff or his other piers.?Second, I told him what he was doing well and then gave constructive feedback so he could alter his course next time.

Think of constructive feedback like a GPS in your car; when you make a wrong turn, it politely asks you to turn around or changes the directions to where you are.?I know that won't happen again by showing him that I respect him and giving some tweaks.??

I hope you got a clearer understanding of how important giving and receiving feedback is.?Furthermore, consistently delivering it in a constructive and friendly manner will always give the best outcome for all concerned.

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