How to Give Negative Feedback for Leaders Who Find Doing So Challenging

On the Quietly Visible podcast this week I spoke to Zaheer Anwari, a UK & US stocks, commodities and currency investor about the lack of financial literacy and investing amongst so many people. In our discussion Zaheer busts the myths and dispels the fears about investing, and shares great tips and advice so you can take the fear out of investing in your future. Click on the link above and listen to what he had to say. You can take his scorecard to find out if you are on track to retire wealthy here .

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How to Give Negative Feedback for Leaders Who Find Doing So Challenging

I read an article on the Harvard Business Review website this week that stated women are 20% less likely to receive actionable feedback that can contribute to their performance and growth at work. The article states that managers are less likely?to give women negative feedback because they are concerned of how they will respond.

It linked to another article that mentions research which identified that feedback given to women tends to be less actionable and less effective than that given to men.

After reading this I decided to do a LinkedIn poll to see what the experience of getting feedback was like for my LinkedIn connections and followers, and this is the result of the poll in answer to my question 'how regularly do you receive helpful feedback about your leadership/work performance?:

• Regularly 35%
• Annual appraisal only 28%
• Regularly but it's not helpful 9%
• I don't receive feedback 28%

Whilst the number completing the poll was only a small fraction of the number of my total followers, the results were interesting, nevertheless. Only 35% said they regularly received helpful feedback about their leadership/work performance .

Without feedback, how do we know how well or not we are doing? Receiving helpful feedback enables us to grow and develop.

The topic of feedback frequently rears its head when I am coaching. Often feedback is not forthcoming, leaving the individual to draw their own conclusions. Or it’s not specific and therefore unhelpful. I have coached leaders who, not having received feedback, assumed the worst about themselves.

A lack of feedback can also have the opposite effect in that not having received feedback, a leader thinks they are far better than how people perceive them.

I find that fear is often at the root of why leaders don’t like giving negative feedback or receiving it themselves. Fear of not wanting to hurt someone if the feedback is not favourable, and a fear of being told they are not good enough when receiving negative feedback about an area of development. The HBR article highlighted that concerns of how women will respond to negative feedback contributed to managers being less likely to give it.

When giving developmental feedback it should help the person receiving it understand what the impact of what they did or didn’t do was, what the expectation is, and what they need to do differently.

If you don’t like giving difficult feedback, you might find my REFLECT framework helpful:

Rational – be rational when giving feedback. Don’t give feedback in the heat of the moment if you are likely to respond emotionally. If you need to give feedback in the moment, do it rationally.

Examples – use examples of what they did or didn’t do. Make sure you give specific examples and make it about their behaviour.?

Fair – be fair in your approach and be factual. How have you handled feedback with other team members who have been in similar situations? Make it fact based and not just based on your assumptions.

Listen – ask the individual for their perspective on the situation and actively listen to what they say. Remember there are two sides to a story. It might be that the expectations were not made clear to them. By listening you will better understand why things happened the way they did, and it will help when looking at moving forward. ??

Explain your perspective – let them know how you see the situation, what their behaviour was and the impact of that behaviour.

Coach – use a coaching approach to coach the individual to identify what they can do differently. Be satisfied that they are clear on what the expectations are.

Timely - feedback should be timely and shouldn’t just be given at the annual appraisal. There should not be surprises at the annual appraisal because concerns about performance should be addressed throughout the year as and when situations occur.

Don’t sandwich negative feedback between positive

When I started out in my leadership journey many years ago, the advice given back then was to sandwich feedback. Namely, to say something positive about the person, then give the negative feedback, followed by another positive.

Thankfully thinking has evolved and sandwich feedback is now considered an unhelpful way to give feedback. Whilst the intentions behind that model were good, in that it softens the ‘blow’ (and for some leaders who don’t like giving negative feedback sandwiching it can make it easier for them), it can make positive feedback less effective. It can also lessen the importance of the negative feedback.

Remember to praise

Some leaders don’t find it easy to give praise so whilst we are on the topic of feedback, it is important that you give positive feedback and praise as well. Again, make it timely and be specific as to what it is for.

Don’t give false praise, and don’t be overly excessive with it because it loses its meaning.

How regularly do you give feedback and how do you know it is helpful? If you don’t give your team regular, helpful feedback, what can you do to change things? This is not necessarily for commenting (unless you want to) but for you to reflect on.

If you didn’t do the poll, how regularly do you receive helpful feedback? ?

In next week’s newsletter I will cover how to ask for feedback when it is not forthcoming, and how to receive and accept both negative and positive feedback.?

About Me

I am an Executive and Career Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. I've been the featured expert in Women and Home Magazine, Good Housekeeping Magazine, the Telegraph, on BBC Radio 5 Live, named a LinkedIn Top Voice UK 4 years running, and received awards for my work developing women leaders.

Through my work I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and more.

My vision is that ALL women achieve their full potential and become spheres of influence for positive change in their respective fields.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment?here .?

My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows you how to overcome them. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. You can get your copy?here ?along with a FREE recording of my How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome workshop.