How to Give Life Advice as a Teacher
What do when students approach you with personal issues?
Throughout my eighteen years as a teacher, I’ve established many meaningful relationships with students. My wife likes to joke that I can’t go anywhere around town without running into a former student. This is one of the joys of being a veteran teacher in one city. You really get to see the fruits of your labor in students who have gone on to bigger and better things.
As any educator knows, childhood is a tumultuous time, and students who struggle will reach out to adults who are important in their lives. Oftentimes, this person is a teacher.
How is a teacher supposed to navigate the situation when a student approaches with questions about life? The teacher must remain professional and be aware of their legal responsibilities as a mandatory reporter while also trying to guide and mentor the student through difficult times.
Be kind.
It takes guts to approach a teacher about a personal problem, so a student deserves a teacher’s attention. Navigating many of these situations requires only one thing from the teacher: being kind.?
A kind person genuinely wants to help a student, so if the situation calls for bringing another person into the conversation, then do it. It’s about doing the right thing for the student, and the right thing for the student may not always be comfortable for them. This means also telling them the truth.
But we don’t always know the truth, so what do we do?
Teach students how to reason through a problem
When I mentor new teachers, I practice cognitive coaching. Essentially, cognitive coaching uses questioning techniques to get the student to reflect on their own performance.?
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Teachers can use the same questioning technique to help students get through difficult, personal situations. The main benefit of using cognitive coaching in these situations is twofold: first, it teaches the student to analyze the situation and consider solutions; second, it allows the teacher to suppress any personal opinions that may cloud the issue. Teachers can then direct the students, through questioning, to possible solutions or approaches.?
Cognitive coaching is about having the person discover the answers on their own.?
Teachers know a lot about their students, and we all have our theories about why students act certain ways. Yet, we may not have a complete picture. So, we want to make sure that we aren’t injecting our own personal agendas into our students’ lives. We also want to remain impartial in case the issue involves other students.
For someone struggling with an issue in their life, a person who is willing to ask questions and listen is all they may need to find a way forward.
Avoid Preaching
I’ve had a variety of experiences in my forty-odd years on this earth. Break-ups. Divorce. Death. The lessons from these experiences could help others in their lives, but, in most cases, people digest the truth through their own experiences.
When a student approaches a teacher with a personal question, they seek guidance. When a teacher begins talking about their own life, it can turn away the student. We’ve all met that person who uses every question, every story, and every problem as an opportunity to talk about himself.
Also, as a person, you may feel strongly about the issue a student brings to you. If you don’t have the restrictions of questioning and listening, you may fall into preaching at the student. This isn’t helpful.
Final Takeaway