How to give feedback ...a vital management skill!

My real world experience as a feedback recipient and provider

How to give feedback has been a topic of management debate for as long as I have been employed, and no doubt for many years before that too.

I remember when I first joined the Police in 1998 the trainers explaining early on that during my learning journey I would receive the 'gift of feedback'. This would come from supervisors, colleagues, and customers, and the trainers explained that some of it would be hard to hear but essential to take on board.

I've never had any cause to doubt the wisdom of their advice as that certainly happened, but I have certainly doubted the 'gift' description when it came to some of my feedback suppliers!

Like you, I suspect, I have received feedback that has been delivered brilliantly, and I have also received feedback that was truly awfully presented!

Different settings need different feedback approaches

When I became a Training Officer I was trained in the skill of feedback, and over the course of many years working with front line Police Officers in fairly taxing environments I had the chance to practice a lot with colleagues in a highly disciplined, hierarchical setting. I then moved into the world of business, and realised that there were different methods to suit the different setting of civilian life.

This breadth of experience has allowed me to identify some common elements that will be useful to anyone wanting to enhance their competence in giving feedback, and more importantly, having it received positively and with a change in attitude or behaviour resulting.

Within this article, I will cover a few common aspects that are universal to all feedback, and also a few concepts that will alter your perspective for different scenarios.

General Guidance for Giving Feedback

Whenever you are considering giving feedback, stop and take a breath first. It is never a good idea to speak (or write for that matter) from a place of strong emotion.

If you are feeling annoyed, stressed, disappointed, emotional, excited, and so on, it will affect your ability to accurately and concisely communicate. The ideal situation is that you have gathered your thoughts together, and considered how best to deliver your feedback, whether that is is to be positive or developmental in its nature.

That final point is important. Often we think only in terms of feedback being critical or corrective. The reality is that feedback should be balanced.

Not necessarily within one delivery, but across a period, the aim should be to provide positive and developmental inputs. If you don't, then the likelihood is that the regular recipient will become disillusioned or negative towards the experience, and by association become the same way about you!

A Useful History Focused Feedback Model

Using a structured approach is generally speaking more effective than free-form.

One simple example is the Headline, Evidence, Impact model that separates the communication into three simple stages...

• The headline is the explanation of the feedback topic to be addressed.
• The evidence is the storytelling of fact, and to a degree perception, but not interpretation.
• The impact is the result (positive or negative) for them, the business, the client, and any other relevant party.

This model is effective at reviewing a situation within the recent past where memory of what happened will still be fresh. This is an important 'golden rule' of feedback as it ensures that this style of intervention is only provided for RECENT incidents.

No-one enjoys having the deep and distant past brought out into the light, and no-one has a perfect memory (I say this having given evidence in many court cases a year or more after the event took place. Without my statements and notebook I would have been lost!)

When you provide your feedback, make sure that you are commenting only on the observed behaviours and the evidence you have. Focus on the behaviour and the facts, not on the interpretation of the person's motives or thoughts at the time - only they can provide that insight.

Which brings me on to the essential element. Feedback is not one way communication. It should be a case of the feedback framework being delivered, and then this providing a platform for a productive two way communication and discussion on how to progress into the future. By looking forward, you and the recipient have a chance to develop the next outcome. By looking backwards you can only comment on what happened, not change that incidence.

A Useful Future Focused Feedback Model

A number of years ago I was lucky enough to receive some training from Marshall Goldsmith (author of many management and leadership books, and one of the best executive coaches in the world). The workshops I attended were largely about human behaviour and how to influence change in others.

Part of the sessions were about feedback, or as he preferred to frame it, the concept of feed forward. Marshall's take was simple to follow.

If you can't change the past, don't focus your energy for too long looking there. By all means reference it as a start point, but then quickly move on to the development of future thinking and behaviours.

Marshall also pointed out something I recognise as being very true; that most of the recipients of feedback already know what they did right or wrong, AND they already know the actions and behaviours required in the future for improved (or sustained positive) outcomes. This sounds obvious, but when we look at the feedback behaviours of managers, more often than not, they look to 'fix' the team member's 'broken' behaviours. This is a mistake, and is often received badly by the team member for obvious reasons.

The concept of feed forward is to identify the desired future outcome of a similar setting. This explanation should ideally come from the team member, as should the second component, the recommended thinking, attitude, and behaviour to make that happen. Normally this can be covered with a simple question such as "What three actions would be essential to take if you are to achieve the outcomes you have explained as being important?".

To lock this in with an emotional (and thereby long term memory helpful) context, this feedback approach can be finalised with "So, when you have applied those actions, delivering the outcome you targeted, who would benefit and how would they feel as a result".

This future focused, highly positive intervention style is very effective, and in my experience a more enthusiastically engaged with and adopted process by colleagues.

A Quick 10 Summary Points on Giving Feedback

1. Focus on what can be changed only. As a general point focus on the effort and capability which was applied in achieving the current outcome, more than the outcome itself. This leads to a better assessment of cause rather than just symptom.
2. Speak about the behaviour and the facts, not about your perception of the recipient's intent or mindset.
3. Be concise and focus on what matters (no 100 point character assassination lists)
4. Use notes (it's good to record what was discussed properly)
5. Write down ALL commitments (yours and theirs resulting)
6. Use the past as the start point, and the future as the activity centre.
7. Don't be emotional or judgemental.
8. Make it balanced where the message has both positive and developmental elements.
9. Speak plainly and clearly. Don't avoid the issue or skirt around it.
10. Wherever possible make it fully private and professional.

(There are occasional settings where private is simply not possible, or the urgency / setting make it necessary for others to understand action is being taken e.g. the challenging of a colleague telling a racist joke in the canteen). If you need to deal with something publicly, the 'headline' element of the feedback model is usually sufficient in the public setting, and the other aspects can then be taken to a more private setting.

General Guidance for Receiving Feedback

So far, I have commented purely on the provision of feedback and on the mindset, considerations, and approach of the manager.

However, we are all only ever 50% of a communication.

With that in mind it's important to remember that feedback is a two way street, and it is as likely that you will receive it as give it.

Below are 6 tips for making the most of feedback you receive:

1. Accept that the person providing it may not have been trained or acknowledge the importance of a professional presentation. Even if they deliver it badly, look past the irritation, and seek out the important message.
2. Put yourself in their shoes. Take the time to listen carefully, make notes, and consider their position and perspective.
3. Reflect HONESTLY. The hardest thing in life is to listen WITHOUT the intention of replying immediately. If you are feeling an emotional response, explain how you feel and that you want some time to consider and respond properly. This buys time to reflect, consider, and map out your responses.
4. Put yourself in the feed forward mindset. Regardless of how the feedback provider is delivering their message, force yourself to look for the idealised future situation, and the three things you CAN do to contribute towards that from your side.
5. Wherever possible, reflect back what you have heard and ask for confirmation that you have received the message correctly. People appreciate being listened to, and most people who provide feedback are genuinely trying to improve a situation or to ensure that a positive is carried forward or repeated. A thank you for taking the time to share your feedback goes a long way to enhancing relationships.
6. If you are committing to some actions as a result of the feedback, diarise them immediately, and make sure you complete them. Also, be sure to provide the updates to the person who gave you the feedback. They will appreciate the visibility of your effort, and generally become less 'micro-managerial' as a result. Response and activity builds both respect and trust.

Found this helpful?

If you have found this quick guide useful, I'm pleased!

As a business coach I have the privilege of working with lots of business owners to improve their capability and confidence in running their companies and teams.

Should you need any further help, or would like to have a complimentary review of your business from me, please do visit my website here: https://growthcoach.co.uk/business-potential-finding-session/