How to Get Yourself Out of the Dreaded How Hell Hole

I have a confession.? For about 10(ish) days last week, I had been a little bit like Eeyore.? I was struggling to quite pinpoint the reason I was “off” but shesh, it was rough, and something that honestly doesn’t happen to me a lot, so I started doing some digging into what was going on, and the gold I found I want to share with you today, incase you are Eeyoring too or getting stuck in what I call the ‘how hell hole’ in your business.?

To give a bit more context, there wasn’t anything outwardly wrong the past few weeks.? Business was trucking along, I was having meaningful times with those closest to me, my clients were having wins, and I was playing pickleball (cause we all need more fun), but I felt like I couldn’t shake this blue feeling.??

I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad, I was just blah.??

I was though, and here’s where the vein of gold starts, overwhelmed.?

Yes, I, the biz doctor who works with business owners to get out from under their business and out of overwhelm, was feeling that exact emotion and consequently plopped myself right in the middle of the ‘how hell hole’ I was digging.?

I would say the past 10 days have been 95% good, but the 5% that wasn’t working was sinking me.? Ever been there?

We had a big miss in the team that threw several things out of kilter.?

My caregiver team that works with my grandma has some unexpected scheduling drama.?

And honestly, I don’t think I was eating or sleeping like I knew I should be, so it was the perfect storm for the 5% becoming my everest.?

After trudging through those several days, I finally said, enough, let’s get to the bottom of this and figure out what has got you so out of sorts.?

And here it is folks, what I mentioned above, one word.? Overwhelm.??

I was overwhelmed by 3 things that made the rest of the 95% seem like it also wasn’t working and so I was spending all my time going; HOW CAN I FIX THIS? HOW CAN I CONTROL THIS? HOW CAN I STOP FEELING THIS?

Dr. Brené Brown calls this being blown vs being in the weeds of stress.? If you have not watched her HBO Series, Atlas of the Heart where she talks about Stress vs Overwhelm I highly recommend it.? She also talks about it extensively in her book Atlas of the Heart (which I just read the part on overwhelm on a team meeting, and put the pictures of the pages below because it is so powerful).?

So how do we get out of the ‘hell how hole?’ How do we get out of this overwhelm?

The answer is actually quite simple, but it will be triggering to most.? We have to master the art of doing nothing. ?The only way to get out of these two anchors is to stop doing.?

Breakthroughs and breaths are only possible when you take a moment to create space.? We cannot force/power our way through overwhelm or getting stuck in ‘how.’? In fact, Brené says that when we are overwhelmed the only way to find our way back and calm our nervous system is to do nothing.

Which, for us high achievers and business owners, this is sometimes akin to ‘death.’??

We are not great at doing nothing and being okay with white space.? It’s why so many founders who exit or retire struggle without the business giving them things to fill their day and purpose if they haven’t done the work.

I even had a client yesterday send me a Voxer in a panic because she wasn’t feeling well and struggling to not feel guilty for taking the day off.? So the urge to do-do-do is strong with us, and I think that is where the invitation lies and the only way to exit the how-hell-hole.?

I will leave you with this last thought.? If you are finding yourself blown, getting buried in the how-hell-hole, or heck, just feeling burned the eff out, then this is my invitation to go do nothing, or if you must do something, make sure it is something your younger self would enjoy.? Go find the fun and play again and I guarantee whatever it is that is stuck in your craw or keeping you up at night will work its way to a solution quicker and more simply than you might imagine.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I did a podcast episode on this which cover a bit more than this edition:??

You can listen in here ---> https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-out-of-the-dreaded-business-owner-how-hell-hole-ep-53/id1618773779?i=1000627709508

P.s. I have a VERY exciting announcement that will make my Monthly Office Hours this month even more valuable! I am going to start bringing in guest experts like Brian A. Hall to join me for the first half, to bring more strategy and clarity to your business.

So this month, come join me, Fractional COO and business advisor, and special Guest Brian A. Hall , the last business Lawyer you’ll ever have to hire, as we discuss how proactive legal counsel can mitigate risk, reduce fees, and maximize the value of your business!

I'll put on my COO hat in the second half of the hour and help you problem-solve about anything having to do with business operations, teams, profitability, leadership, or scaling your business.

The first half, Brian and I will be talking and then the second half is me in your corner. No schedule, no prompts, just step into my virtual office. No need to be shy, if you want, we'll pop into a private Zoom breakout room just you and me to get you over this hurdle and back in business, so you don't have to worry about talking about your business in front of others!

March 14th at 10:30am Central Time on Zoom

Register here: https://lnkd.in/gWfG8Sd7