How To Get Your Way (mostly..)

Hearing a YES and getting approval for our requests and suggestions is something most of us love and look forward to. Agreement makes the heart glad.

Reality however, has shown that we don't always get people to agree with us. There are occasions on which we find ourselves on different sides of the table with others. Depending on the situation, we may let it be or try and work out a compromise so that all parties are catered for.

No matter what age, race, gender or job level you hold, the art of persuasion is important in order to get along with others or at least bend their ear towards you. Small children seem to get it until a certain age, sadly.

Getting your way is not about manipulation but basically bringing people round to your way of thinking and seeing things without compromising anyone's space and dignity in the process. It is about building consensus and collectively moving towards an agreed upon goal.

Here are a few ways to ensure that you get your way in any dealing.

1. Ask nicely. Watch your tone and language when needing a favour or placing a request. When you're respectful, it is easy to get the attention you need and have your needs met in the process.
2. Do unto others what you'd want them to do to you. Treat others with the courtesy that you wish them to accord you.
3. Barter Trade. One good turn deserves another. Say, "I'll do this for you, will you please do X for me?" It creates a cooperation scenario which makes it pleasant for all involved.
4. Smile. Not like a clown, but at least have a warm look on your countenance. It will make you approachable now and in future. People who are regularly frowning create a fearful atmosphere around them and tend to repel others.
5. DIY. When you start to do things yourself, others may see the initiative and want to join in and help with the task at hand. It also encourages a DIY spirit which really helps in easing labour for everyone around.
6. Leverage goodies. This is not equal to holding cards over another's head but is more of tapping into cheerful occasions to get things done. Think of requests around Christmas.
7. Timing. Kindly don't ambush people. Plan ahead and make your requests known in good time. This makes it easier to get what you want. Ambushes are only allowed in times of emergencies like fires.
8. Use humor. You know that guy who makes people laugh and seems to always get his requests in time? Be like him. Put people at ease and you'll be surprised at how much you can accomplish.
9. Clear the air. Leave no room for doubt and resentment to creep in. Whenever something is not clear, talk it out and ensure that everyone is on the same page. This makes it easy to disagree without necessarily fighting and having cold relations
10. Positive reinforcement. Ensure that adequate praise is given for the good stuff so that you're not just seen as the one who walks around nitpicking.

Here's to living life, your way.