How to Get Your Inbox Flooded with Referrals

What’s the No. 1 driver of your future success? The rave reviews of your past and present clients. Ever since ancient societies started trading with one another, sales professionals have been gaining new business from word of mouth.

That’s right -- no matter how much you experiment with modern marketing methods and new lead generation strategies, the creation of referrals from your very own network brings you the biggest, quickest and most authentic return on your marketing investment.

I know that you would LOVE to have an endless flood of referred clients and would do just about anything to make this happen. Yet for the majority of business owners and sales professionals, there is just one HUGE reason why they fail to gain the referrals they deserve:

They simply fail to ask their existing contacts to open the doors to their network.

What’s stopping you from asking? It tends to come down to one of the following three things:

1. You’re LAZY, complacent, and can’t be bothered…
2. You don’t know WHEN to ask…
3. You don’t know HOW to ask.

My guess is that Option 1 does not apply to you. If it did, you wouldn’t be reading this article. Therefore, if you knew the answer to the other two questions, then you’d probably be fully equipped to ask more often.

It’s often said that it’s not what you say -- it’s how (and when) you say it. For many people, the fear of choosing an imperfect moment to introduce an idea is the point of anxiety that stops them from mentioning it at all. Well, in my work, I am renowned for helping others to know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to make it count. Let’s see if today we can help you understand how this guidance relates perfectly to referrals.

When is the right time to ask?

Here’s the short answer: when your prospect or client is happy. The difficulty with this answer is that there are quite literally dozens of examples in which this could be the case, like the point of sale, at a success milestone or even after resolving a complaint, to name just a few. This abundance of opportunity creates a sense of option paralysis and usually results in an inability to ask them that one key question.

A better answer is to perk up your ears and listen hard for one simple phrase. This phrase is a coherent clue that this person is not only happy with what you’ve done for them, but also feels indebted to you in that moment to a point where they may even feel like they owe you some reciprocity. There is NO better time to ask for something than when the other person feels indebted.

Those words for which you must listen are… thank you.

Now, when you receive this sign of appreciation, please don’t pat yourself on the back and think, “I’m done now.” Instead, understand that this is your perfect moment to ask for more.

Now that you understand the precise timing of the request, we should probably explore a structured and powerful way of putting it on the table.

How Can You Ask for Referrals?

The subconscious brain is a powerful thing, particularly in the sales process. It works a bit like a computer. Rather than little ones and zeroes, it only produces a simple “yes” or “no.” “Maybe” does not exist. Having the ability to trigger an instant decision from your client or prospect delivers you a fair advantage in communication and can often allow you to get your way more often.

To lead you to the exact right set of words, you must first learn the power of a simple set of “Magic Phrases” that can be used to get people to agree to a task before they even know what it is!

Once they’ve said “thank you,” they’ve provided your cue to ask the first question: 

“You couldn’t do me a small favor, could you?” 

This quick question elicits an almost certain agreeable response and gives you instant permission to continue with the rest of your request.

“You wouldn’t happen to know…”

The phrasing here throws down a challenge. Your client or prospect now feels compelled to prove you wrong.

“ …just one person…”

“Just one” sounds reasonable. Since it seems like such an easy ask, they’re more likely to think of someone by name.

“ …someone just like you…”

This clarification has the person narrowing down their options so you’ll actually get the right prospect. Plus, it pays them a subtle compliment that won’t go unnoticed.

“ …who would benefit from…”

And then emphasize the specific benefit or positive experience for which they’ve just thanked you.

Then… shut up!

Once they’ve thought of somebody, you will probably be able to see that certainty in their body language and movement.

At this point say, “Don’t worry, I’m not looking for their details right now, but who was it that you’re thinking of?” 

Saying “don’t worry” automatically takes the pressure off, and the “but” helps them to only recall the final part of the sentence.

Then, you can find out when they’re next likely to see the person they’ve just mentioned. But before you start, ask, “You couldn’t do me another favor, could you?” After they’ve said yes the first time, they’re more likely to say yes again so they can keep up the reputation they’ve built with you.

Once they do, follow up with, “Next time you see Steve, could you share with him a little bit about how it was doing business with me and see if perhaps he’s open-minded to taking a phone call from me to see if I can help him in the same way I helped you?”

After your prospect almost certainly agrees, ask, “Would it be okay if I give you a call next week and find out how the chat went with Steve?”

This goes off without a hitch. You then call him when you said you would and calmly, not accusingly, say, “I’m guessing you didn’t get around to speaking to Steve?”

As a person of their word, they will either proudly tell you how they have already spoken with Steve, or will be embarrassed and tell you how they plan to go on to complete the introduction.

The magical thing is that if you slow this process down, you can often speed the outcome up. It provides you with qualified future customers who already have third-party assurance of your offerings and permission to make contact. I don’t know about you, but I’d take that over a name and a number any day of the week.

Your Twitter Could Be Holding You Back

Since 2008, online social networks have rapidly grown to take over the mainstream and change communication at its core. Small business owners have been nudged, persuaded and cajoled into adopting a presence on every single major platform. For many, the results are light-years away from what they expect.

We all hear about the groundbreaking success of the small, independent startup that blew up through their inspiring Instagram page or the personality-led business that became an overnight sensation with their viral YouTube channel. These meteoric results might convince you that you must heavily invest in your social media presence to have any success in the modern business landscape. The reality is that many small businesses are committing mass self-sabotage by obsessing over social media. Their involvement in digital marketing is actually causing their business to go backward.

Before I get into the dangers of faulty social media marketing, I want to make a very clear and simple point. I am a HUGE supporter of how digital marketing and social networking can have a MASSIVE positive impact. It’s just that the practices that I see the masses adopting are, quite frankly, embarrassing.

In all of my experience to date, the one thing that has driven every single successful venture, project or campaign has been the following personal mantra for success:

“Do the basics, to a high standard, consistently.”

In thousands of businesses right this minute, the core principles of sales are being forgotten in favor of rolling the dice with the next magic campaign, social post, or viral video attempt in search of short-term success. 

In the real world, there are no shortcuts, and developing a sustainable customer base happens over time and relies on stable, constant trust. Business developers know that questions lead to conversations, conversations create relationships, relationships create opportunities and opportunities result in sales.

Slowing down the process often speeds up the outcome. It’s a lot like how you’ll often attract a worthwhile significant other faster by gradually showing your commitment to finding a partner for life instead of racing to get laid on the first date.

Let’s get back to the self-sabotaging behaviors that are costing businesses a fortune.

1. Pissing into the Wind

I’ve never been able to grasp why thousands of seemingly competent business owners rush to build their social media pages, invite a handful of friends to like or follow their page and then never plan anything else to build their audience. Even worse, they spend a fortune on creating graphics and invest hours of time into curating content to post when nobody is listening! If you do this, you’re pouring productive time and energy down the drain. You could have gained more success by opening your front door and shouting your offers into the street -- then, at least SOMEONE would be forced to hear you out!

2. Spamming Your Followers

We’re all in the “people” business, so we know that to gain true influence, we have to establish visibility and credibility before finding opportunities to do business. However, the attention that comes from sending out 500-word messages with links to videos or relentlessly direct-messaging any and all new followers is not the kind of visibility you want! Please, pretty please, can people put a stop to this blindly unsophisticated intrusion of privacy? If you’re going to be in my inbox at all hours of the day and night, at least get to know me a little first.

3. Setting off the “IDGAF” Reflex

I can’t imagine who would want to read some of the mindless drivel that some people and companies share on their social streams. Ask yourself these questions before you hit the “post” button: “Will this represent me and my brand well? Can people engage with this? Does this serve others?” Now that everyone has the ability to be a full media production unit, remember that being a full-fledged Facebook journalist also comes with the responsibility of being your own editor! Let’s face it -- we’re all awash with content to consume. If you want yours to stand out, please at least make it good.

4. Flexing Your Ego

I get it. You’re the most important person in your life. But unless you’re Kim Kardashian, Donald Trump, or that little kid who yodels in Walmart, the likelihood of strangers being consumed with what’s happening in your world is slim to none. Make your content about your audience, not what you’d personally find interesting. Understand them and provide them with things that serve their life, make their day easier and spark topics they love to explore.

5. Choosing the Wrong Platform

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen small businesses waste their digital marketing budget pursuing opportunities on the wrong platform. You know your audience (or at least you should) -- do some research and find out what social networks they’re using! For example, if you’re selling arthritis medicine, the youthful audience on Snapchat might not be your friend. Likewise, if your target is the high school segment, try investing in Instagram or even TikTok instead of making a beeline for Facebook.

I’m delivering you this article to hold up a huge STOP sign and help you to re-evaluate your activity so you can ask yourself whether it’s really working. Is your social media presence genuinely driving results, or is it simply draining away your limited resources and standing in the way of a solid business foundation?

This doesn’t mean you have to delete your Twitter. Instead, it’s time to shift back to understanding that the biggest value in these tools is how they can increase productivity, reduce geographic constraints and accelerate the building of new relationships.

Build your audience, serve your audience and engage with your audience. Be prepared to pull the conversation offline and work the old-fashioned way if you’d like to see some true returns. And if you can’t wrap your head around social media enough to make it pay for you, turn off your push notifications and get back to delivering the basics, to a high standard, consistently. https://www.philmjones.com/