How To Get Unfucked.

It seems lately, I get more and more messages from folks with a similar theme...

"I need help, my life's falling apart, and I can't seem to get unstuck"

Usually, I respond by reminding them that everyone's got a mess they're going through.

Heck, when I first got separated I was "down in the dumps" for months.

And through that, man, I learned some pretty serious lessons about life, about achievement, about overcoming obstacles, about breaking free from the mental prison we put ourselves in, and about getting back up even when you can't feel your legs.

I'm no expert by any means.

But, I've grown through more failures than most do in a lifetime, combined with my "no bull shit" straight talk, that sometimes I surprise myself during my coaching calls with clients!

So, for all those struggling through something right now, here's a few things I've learned that, hopefully, will help you.

(note, I've numbered them, but they aren't necessarily in order of importance)

1. Focus on others.

When shit hits the fan, it's way too easy to turn into a victim and woe-is-me all over the place. I knew I needed to rise above that, so I started focusing on little areas I could help others.

It's actually pretty amazing how many little old ladies you can help out when you start looking for them. 

2. Forgive yourself.

Especially in my marriage, I knew I made some serious snafoo's, but you can't ever rise above if you keep burying yourself in the dirt.

3. Watch the self-talk.

This is a biggie. Isn't it weird how quick we are to beat ourselves up, and say things we'd never say out loud to another human being? Listen, even in times of absolute shit, you should always be your best cheerleader. Even if it hurts and you say it through tears and clenched teeth, repeat, over and over, I love myself.

4. You need to talk.

It's funny, I coach people from all over the world and hear things most people never hear... and yet, talking about my own shit, gross 

But, you need to.

I've had a great therapist for years now, and some really close friends I've opened up too, and it makes the world of difference. You're not alone.

5. Stop talking, and get to work.

I know I just said to talk... and please do... but there needs to be a point where you get to work, cause life, it won't fix itself, and you sure won't talk your way to greatness.

Once you've said everything you need to say, once you've gotten it off your chest, take a deep breath, and put some action under your feet.

6. Forgive others.

Some people blame themselves for all their problems, others blame everyone else. If you're holding a grudge, if you're blaming others, it's time to let it go.

Forgive your partner, forgive your friends, forgive your inlaws, forgive your siblings, forgive your parents, forgive your neighbors, forgive forgive forgive. And if they've since past away, write them a letter, forgive them in your heart, and then burn the letter.

7. Move your body.

One of my biggest keys to bouncing back I could offer is to move. Even if you hate fitness, even if you're totally out of shape, even if you haven't moved in years, take a long walk, I'm talking a couple hours, go for a jog, play a sport, go for a swim, do something. Not only is it good for your physical health, but it's good for your mental health.

8. Rework your goals

I get it.. when your soul is broken, it's hard to see the future. And for a while, maybe a few days, maybe even a few weeks, it can be very emotional trying to think about goals, about what you want out of life. But, you need to.

Start small, create some new little goals, and start putting some small wins under your belt.

9. Apologize where it's needed

Reach out to those you've hurt, those you've burned, those you've messed up with, those you've wronged, and just say you're sorry. No need to relive it, no need to even get a reply, just get it out there, and right any wrongs you've done.

10. Start smiling again.

Focus on people, things, activities, whatever you need to, to start smiling again. For me, it took a while, but you'll get there. Watch some good comedy, play a game with friends, chase your kids, whatever, just start to remember what it's like to be genuinely happy again. And once you start to feel it, chase that and never stop.

I'm sure there's lots more, but this is already long enough as it is so I'll wrap it up for now.

I just want to leave you with this...

You, my friend, could be great today. But you're putting it off and choosing to (hopefully) be great tomorrow.

Tomorrow, that's not guaranteed. That's not for you to decide. You don't get to play God here.

But right now, today, this very moment, that ones yours, and it's all you've got.

So no matter what you're going through, be great, RIGHT NOW, because you deserve it.

Don't worry about what others have to say, don't worry about what might happen, don't worry about being scared, don't worry that you're not ready yet.

Just act.

Just do.

Just step up.

And before you know it, you'll realize you're the only one stopping you from being GREAT TODAY.

I believe in you,

Al

PS - While doing my daily intake of growth material the other day, I came across this line "the best way to become a big fish is to be trained by one", and that's exactly why I, even at this stage of my life and career, I have coaches, I read endlessly, and I study always. Because the quickest way to grow UP in life, is to shortcut your journey through other people's knowledge. 

As summer comes in hot, many people will be taking the next few months to relax, kick back and enjoy life a bit. And that's okay... But just know that while most drink up and rest on their laurels, there's a handful that will be putting in the work to get ahead, being able to hit the ground running come the fall. 

If you're serious about getting ahead of the rest, out of the rut, and kick that feeling of spinning your wheels for nothing, click HERE , let's jump on a call, and plan your battle plan.