How to get started networking while being 100% virtual

Networking is something most of us know we *should* do, but often we procrastinate over it and wonder if we can get away without this fuss. 

But networking matters. Today more than ever.

As the world moves to more and more remote work, and more people are being laid off, the an increasingly large proportion of jobs and opportunities occur because of your network. A referral is more likely to land you a job than a cold resume. A referral from someone who genuinely knows you, trusts you and is excited about your skills - that is when you get to build those jobs to your skill set and achieve extraordinary things.

And our network is also about developing and improving our skills, staying on top of industry trends, meeting mentors, advocates, client, allies and access to all sorts of informal resources for your career advancement.

Today more than ever we are the only ones in charge of our career development. Career development programs are infrequently under-provided, poor quality or entirely absent from the workplace. The burden, sadly, is now on us to develop our own careers. And networking is one the most influential tools for career development you can have. Because it isn't just about building connections, it is what those connections know, do and influence. 

If you are wondering how to get started networking while being 100% virtual? Keep reading to find out more quick-start guide! Here are my 8 steps to networking success (even if you are an introvert!).

1. Start with who you know. 

?? Build a list of people you want to reach out to. 

?? Create a target. 

?? Include fun people, not just colleagues. 

After all, let’s make this as fun as it can be. 

Then your goal is to have genuine deep conversations with these people. You want some people on this list that you know are going to be a blast to chat and catch up with. Even if you have inertia around it (which I have in spades!), lean into how you’ve previously felt when chatting with one of these people.

This is your easiest way to start networking. Reconnect with those you know. Even the most surprising people can create amazing opportunities. 

2. Make time for this task.

Once you have your list of people, or a goal it is time to make time for this task. And yup, it is probably going to feel like a task if this doesn’t come easily to you. Make time on your calendar to take action, put it on your recurring todo list, set up a meeting with yourself. Whatever it takes, commit to spending 30 minutes a week (if you are actively job hunting and you are treating job hunting as a full-time job, networking should be 80% of your time!).

If you find yourself struggling to commit, remind yourself of that commuting time you used to have. Maybe you used to be sat in traffic jams or on a train. Even if you just commuted for 10 minutes a day, that is still 50 minutes a week (and I'm only suggesting 30 minutes!) that if you now work from home you have back. So use that to networking 

3. Practice patience

We’ve talked about making time, but the other is giving it time to work. 

Building genuine deep connections doesn’t happen overnight. Most people you meet won’t immediately create that deep bond that we have every now and then with a few people. So be prepared for genuine deep conversations to take effort and time to obtain. Set that expectation, and then be pleasantly surprised if it happens quickly. 

Remember, genuine connection is easier when you don't force it.

4. Step outside your comfort zone and MAKE the call.

If you are struggling to take action on networking, it's time to acknowledge that you are uncomfortable stepping out of your comfort zone.

To take action and make that call, send that email, 'hit connect' on LinkedIn, quite often requires us to be someone who we aren't used to being.

So make this mechanical.

Remember that stepping away from comfortable means we are stepping into growth. And that is A GOOD THING.

Lean into that and then create a process. A simple checklist that you can mechanically follow to take action. Yes it can be that simple. 

If you have set a time in your calendar to reach out, reach out.

If you have already agreed a time, easier to keep to it.

But do what you need to do.

Remember that hearing voices is really good for our stress levels (even for introverts!). The sound of people releases cortisol - that hormone that makes us feel good and happy! Obviously if the individual is someone that you’ve previously been stressed by then this won’t happen, but I’m hoping you have lots of other network opportunities beyond that person to reach out to.

Video also really helps - seeing someone’s face can really build connection. Not to mention, actually seeing people’s surroundings whether it is their home, office or a coffee shop, can also hugely help building connection. It’s why I’m not a fan of the virtual backgrounds, because although they look cool (and some of them are really fun!) they are distracting and our brains know they aren’t real, so we pay less attention to the person.

5. Focus on listening

Start with a simple hello if you don’t know how else to get going. Because what you say at the start doesn’t hugely impact the connection. What really matters: how you respond to them.

Ask them how they are, about their job, about their life. Then really listen. 

It’s what you do with what you hear that really matters. 

The art of active listening is hard to learn, and most people really struggle to focus for an entire conversation. Ever noticed your concentration wavering, that you aren’t focused on the screen in front of you?? That you don’t 100% know what they just said? This is common, so don't feel bad about it.

BUT you can train yourself into that deep active listening mode. And when you do that, deep connections and great insights happen so much more quickly. I can now do 4 hours back-to-back of active listening, provided I take a 3 minute stretch between each hour long call. But I started off struggling with just 30 minutes focus. When I worked in corporate I didn't realise what I was missing out. I thought I was focused, but honestly, I wasn't. I also thought I needed to multi-task to succeed. I'd be checking emails in meetings and just simple reflexes to check my phone were normal. 

Now I have learnt the power of real active listening, and how much it can achieve in such as small amount of time, I can only wish I'd learnt this sooner. This is where great outcomes from conversations lies. 

So develop and nurture your active listening skills.

6. Learn to unstick the conversation

Are you scared of a networking conversation stalling, getting stuck and becoming awkward??

Here are four conversation kick-starters/un-stickers:

• Tell them something about you, what you have done that is relevant to what they do. You can totally have this prepped beforehand.
• Tell them something that you know about them that you are excited about. 
• Share a memory or experience that is relevant to what they've been telling you.
• Ask a question about what they've been telling you. Stay in that curiosity space.

7. Make an ask

If you are actively building your network, once you have a genuine deep connection, now is the time to make your ask. 

- Did they say something that excited you, an opportunity idea came app or anything else?

- Ask them how you could move that forward.

- Ask if they have any suggestions for someone you could reach out to, would they make an introduction.

8. Give give give

We should all be giving more to our network than we take. And this hugely works in your favour.

- Make suggestions, solve problems.

- Offer a new connection suggestion.

Remember to always aim to give back more than you ask for. 

Great networking is about quality, not quantity. So start small - 30 minutes a week and deep listening meaningful conversations. Feel ok about letting go of a connection that isn't going anyway, but always be building new connections, and strengthening ones that have some sparkle, even if it is under the surface. Then remember, that the burden is on you to maintain your network, no one else. 

If you want to find out more about the benefits of networking for you and your career, and how to do this while we are working 100% virtual, check in on Episode 18 of the Leading Women in Tech Podcast: https://tonicollis.com/episode18