How to get someone to talk when they don't want to
Leah Mether
Communication speaker and trainer. Global authority. Helping make the people part of leadership and work-life easier. ???? Author of the acclaimed books ‘Soft is the New Hard’ and ‘Steer Through the Storm’.
How do I make someone talk about an issue when they don’t want to? ?
That’s the question Lisa* asked me after attending my Don’t Shoot the Messenger workshop. ?
Lisa was married with four kids and her relationship with her husband was in trouble. ?
She’d tried to speak with him about their challenges many times, and even suggested relationship counselling to help them have the discussion, but he point-blank refused to engage. ?
She asked me what she should do, after assuring me she had no fear of her husband’s reaction – rather, she simply wanted him to have the conversation and was at her wit’s end about how to make that happen. ?
The simple answer is you can’t MAKE someone talk about an issue if they don’t want to. You also can’t MAKE them listen to or hear what’s being said. ?
What you can do though, is influence them by framing the conversation in a way that encourages them to participate. ? Here are six tips to help:
领英推荐
After that, the ball’s in their court. Give them time to process and think about it and then let the chips fall where they may. You’ve outlined your choice and now it’s time for them to make theirs. ?
If they won’t even let you say your piece and walk away before you can get through the above, try writing them a letter to read in their own time. ?
Hopefully, they’ll come to the party and have the tough conversation, but if they don’t and you decide to walk away – from either the conversation or the relationship – you can do so knowing you did everything you could.
*Lisa is not this person's real name. Ensuring she was safe to have an assertive conversation with her husband was important before I shared my advice – sadly, many women are not.
Leah Mether, author of?Steer Through the Storm: How to Communicate and Lead Courageously Through Change, and Soft is the New Hard: How to Communicate Effectively Under Pressure (Ingram Spark, $25.00),?is a communication specialist obsessed with making the people part of leadership and work life easier. Renowned for her engaging style as a trainer, speaker and facilitator, Leah helps leaders and teams shift from knowing to doing, and radically improve their effectiveness. Visit?www.leahmether.com.au
● LinkedIn Profile Writer ● Independent LinkedIn Trainer ● LinkedIn Profile Workshops ● 170 recommendations ?? Australia based and don't work or connect globally as family complains my voice travels through walls ??
9 个月Love these six tips and your advocacy around controlling the controllables.
Operations Manager | Supplying Virtual Assistants to Businesses
9 个月This is impressive! I learned 6 new things today, thanks for sharing this Leah