How to get rid of a bad habit- a 13 steps strategy, a game plan

I want to share a story. A boy in his second decade during a hostel life of medical schooling started smoking. He used to smoke 10-12 cigarettes per day. His group’s continuous smoking habits had potentiated his daily smoking. After a few years, he thought of quitting. He failed after one month of abstinence. Next time (again after a few months), he prepared his quitting and quit successfully and then never smoked.

The first part is more common. Most failed the attempt to quit. Some can do it.?

You can interchange smoking with any other habit that does not cause any good, only destruction.

Now the critical question is how to quit smoking or other bad habits.

First, we need to define habit. It may be a good habit or bad.?

We need to create a habit, and then good habits make us, and bad habits break us.

What is a habit??

A routine or practice performed regularly; is an automatic response to a specific situation.

Why can’t we get rid of some bad habits?

According to James Clear in his “Atomic Habits”, there are two reasons: either we are trying to change the wrong thing, or we are trying to change in the wrong way.

There are three layers in any change.

Outcome: the final results

Process: the actual process

Identity: changing your belief; here lies the strategic intervention.

These three layers are essential simultaneously. The identity layer is the game changer.

Most of the time, we didn’t have early results, so we lacked motivation after a few days. Like, we want to lose weight (the outcome), start working out and do dietary modification (the process of the actual habit).?

After a few days, we don’t see any definite improvement, and it becomes a hassle. This outcome-oriented change has its inherent problem. We need to create a belief and identity which will make us more resilient, and we will stick to our plan.

How does identity or belief impact our habit-building or habit-breaking?

1.?????????You need to identify the problem, like quitting smoking, losing weight, stopping pathological buying, etc.

2.?????????Why do you consider that a problem?

3.?????????What are the situations where you compel to do that? [ these are cues: we will discuss the four steps of habit as per James Clear later]

4.?????????What happens when you do that? Do you feel guilt or any other emotions?

5.?????????Why do you want to quit the habit?

6.?????????What are the adjectives you will apply to your habit-making soul? Do mention a name for the same, like?destructor-X. This name must cause you trouble on an emotional level.

7.?????????Now you think if you don’t make the habit, what benefit will you have now? Name this soul a good name. I think you want to be like this. Let’s give it a name:?avenger-X. This naming should be from the inner aspect, and you need to feel it completely.

8.?????????What do you want? Whom should you let win, the destructor or the avenger?

9.?????????Think and visualise the good works and associated emotions and benefits of avenger.

10.???Do one thing today, which avenger will do for sure. One small thing, and let me know.?

11.???Welcome; you are onboard the habit-breaking journey.

12.???Now make sure of the following four laws as per James Clear in Atomic Habit:

a.??????????????????Make it invisible: Reduce exposure and remove the cues of your bad habits from your environment.

b.??????????????????Make it unattractive: reframe your mindset: avenger vs destructor

c.??????????????????Make it difficult: to access

d.??????????????????Make it unsatisfying: visualisation technique can also be helpful.

13.???Repeat and sustain these and always return to original intentions (preferably written) whenever you deviate.

Now again, coming back to the story. The boy initially thought of the health-related problems associated with smoking and peer pressure from family and partners, but it failed.

Why? Now you know that the plan was outcome dependent and likely to fail after some time.

Next time he created a mental model of financial gain from quitting. He calculated the daily expenditure and the monthly expenditure of smoking, approx. Rs.3000 monthly. He estimated an annual spending of about 36000 rupees, with which he could quickly pay a reasonable insurance premium. (He was ignorant about other investment strategies then- but that is not the story today). He took a single step to quit altogether. Now how he sustained and strengthened his decision:

1.??????????????????For over a week, he needed not to go to ATM.

2.??????????????????He tactfully avoids the smoking environment and the trigger points like waiting in the queue or travelling in a taxi, post-prandial time etc.

3.??????????????????He read the book “The Last Puff” by Dr Sajeela Maini to overcome different problems in different time frames. (Remember that boy did not know above mentioned working framework at that time)

4.??????????????????Another essential aspect is that he can now advise his patients to quit smoking to his patients without any repercussions.

5.??????????????????Many, even the smoker partners, had praised his new journey. This potentiated the excellent work, to carry, and he quit ultimately without a problem.

[these are generalised steps to follow in quitting, but never hesitate to seek medical advice if you have other issues or any withdrawal symptoms]