How to Get People to Do What You Want - 31 Everyday Ways to Influence

The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and to influence their actions, John Hancock.

Is influencing the king of all the soft skills?

I once thought that time management was. Surely, being able to get the right stuff done in the right amount of time was King. Maybe not. Leadership - possibly. We seem to talk about it a lot in the business world. Possibly because it is so poorly done. Influencing is certainly a close bedfellow of leadership.

Communication, maybe. Unless you are an island, and we know that no man is, then the ability to get others to do what you want, could well be the King of the soft skills jungle. If influencing is the one, and I think that it does pack the loudest roar, then it is sobering to know that this skill holds the key to the door to our future.

We only use 3, 4, or maybe 5 from the list below of everyday practical influencing tools. You probably use 13, 14, and 15 the most. And even if you do use more, how much do you select the right tool for the job? Probably not enough. Certainly not consciously.

So, to improve our influencing skills we first need to know that there are a whole bunch of tools we can use, secondly to tick the ones we currently use, and thirdly to choose one or two to consciously add to our influencing toolbox. Then, we can begin to get more people to do more of what we want.

1. Image - A picture tells a thousand words.
2. Reciprocity - You invite me to your party and then I do the same.
3. Expert - Someone's qualifications make us believe them.
4. Scarcity - Exclusive Deals.
5. Consistency - 'But you gave Bob a pay rise'.
6. Together - Once one person likes, we all start liking.
7. Liking - We like people like ourselves.
8. Negotiate - If you then I.
9. Empathy - 'That sounds really tough'.
10. Guilt - 'The kids would love to see the Santa'.
11. Compliment - Giving compliments breaks down barriers.
12. Please - Saying 'please' helps.
13. Time - 'It will only take you 5 minutes'.
14. Logic - The project is a no-brainer.
15. Repetition - Saying the same thing again, and again.
16. Ask - 'Would you help me to get this done, please?'.
17. Tell - 'Go and tidy your bedroom.
18. Escalation - 'Get me the manager'.
19. Insight - Most colds are transferred in the house by touching the fridge.
20. Bullying - Doing what someone wants because you feel intimidated.
21. Financial - Getting what you want because you paid for it.
22. Belief - If we believe in someone or something we can move mountains for them/it.
23. Respect - Respecting someone can drive us to take action.
24. Enjoyment - If you like doing something, you are more likely to do more of it.
25. Competition - We want to beat other people.
26. Inspire - By inspiring people they will deliver much more.
27. Reversing - Influencing can be like two magnets, as soon as you back away, they come after you.
28. Courteous - There is a reason why we research, for example how to bow, before we visit Asia.
29. Words - For example, Because' is the most influential word.
30. Body Language - How we sit, stand, express our face, etc. influences what a person will do.
31. Pause - Using pauses in sentences can significantly influence people.

What influencing tool would you add to this list?

I'll be publishing, or may have published by the time you read this, a full list with examples on our blog. Just search for the article under 'Examples'.