How to get the most out of a mentor

Everyone wants a mentor.

It’s trendy.

So, what is a mentor?

Mentoring is a two-way relationship where someone who is more experienced will teach, advise and guide someone to learn from the mistakes they made, what they did right and general experience.

Done right, mentoring can elevate the rate of learning.

We’ve all had mentors.

The majority of us have had mentoring relationships which have failed. We go to one meeting, we get amped, we leave and we don’t make improvements.

There are some fundamental points to finding a great mentor.

You must connect on a personal level

You may find a superb mentor, but might be the total opposite of you.

Seek awareness around your learning style, and work with a mentor who thinks like you otherwise you could have difficulties getting the most out of them because you can’t learn in there way.

Mentors will seek out your weaknesses, so you want to be able to take constructive feedback well and if subconsciously you don’t like your mentor it won’t make for a great relationship.

Be honest

Set expectations from day one. If you can only meet once a month, tell them. If you’re weak in one area, tell them.

A few topics to cover in your first meeting:

• How often can you meet?
• What’s your current situation at work?
• What do you want to learn?
• Have you had a failed mentor relationship before?
• What’s your learning style?
• Do you need extra support? Because then it starts to become coaching.
• Don’t pretend you know it all, be humble, start from the beginning of your given subject.

The effort is a two-way street

Look, you’re the one who is seeking advancement in one area, not them.

Often I hear about people going AWOL on their mentor, or leaving it a while to get in contact. Absurd, if you can’t commit to getting mentored, don’t bother.

Mentoring is you entering into a professional relationship, so leave the ghosting for Tinder.

Think of it is a “homework”

When a mentor tells you to look over something or read through certain materials have the mindset this is your time to advance your career. Don’t expect to talk through a topic for an hour and think you’ve learnt it all.

Record all your notes so you can keep track of your progress.

Meet and contact regularly

The best mentoring relationships are ones that have regular contact daily or weekly through Slack or WhatsApp and meet regularly either on Skype or F2F to keep you accountable for what you’ve been doing since the last meeting.

Don’t be afraid to connect with them outside scheduled hours

The first meeting should be where you form boundaries, but don’t be afraid to contact your mentor outside of your meeting. If you need guidance on certain topics, they should there to support you.

Don’t be afraid to dump them

I recommend you should look for a new mentor every 6–12 months. No one knows everything about anything, so looking for new mentors to up-skill in different areas is critical.

Don’t be afraid to drop mentors who you fill you’re not progressing with or don’t connect with on a personal level. The goal of mentoring is to elevate the rate of your learning so if you’re being kept behind by your relationship then it’s pointless.

Have more than one & Don’t just look at what they’ve achieved

“I want a Head of UX to mentor me”

Think outside the box who you want as your mentor. Someone who is senior might not be able to help as much if you’re looking to break into an industry for example.

You’ll be better off looking for someone who’s just got into the industry to give their feedback, guidance and mentorship on how to do it.

The best mentors are the ones who can fill gaps in your skillset. Don’t seek a mentor who’s your clone.