How to Get More Confidence

Have you ever wanted more confidence?

Yeah?! Me too.

In most situations, I’m a pretty confident person, but I wasn’t always this way.

In high school, I felt like I didn’t really fit it. I had “friends” from a variety of peer groups, but no one I really hung out with on a consistent basis outside of school.

My adventurous side began when I was on Spring Break my senior year in high school. My friend and I went bungee jumping together. It wasn’t something we had planned. We saw it going on and said, “What the heck?! Let’s do it.”

This is when bungee jumping first started. We did it off a crane and over a swimming pool, and we were so scared, the operator had to push us off the crane in order to get us to go.

It was exhilarating, fun, risky…and oh, I wanted to do it again. And since then I’ve been parasailing, sky diving, bridge swinging, and bridge zip lining.

In my early twenties, I started traveling overseas. To places I had only heard about in history books, so it opened my eyes to new worlds, different places, people, and ways of doing things.

I realized I could go somewhere by myself, not knowing anyone, and thrive. I didn’t need to keep things so safe, so planned, so rigid.

I could let loose, explore, and learn. And in the process I learned more about myself. Each time I went somewhere, I gained a little more confidence in myself…in my abilities, skills, and know-how. And if I didn’t know something, I’d figure it out. And in figuring it out, the confidence grew.

So it was a cycle. The more I did something I was unsure of, the more my confidence grew. The more my confidence grew, the more I’d do something I was unsure of…just to see if I could, how it would turn out, or how far I could go.

This pushed me to study abroad for my MBA in Norway for months, travel to Greece by myself, and even volunteer in Africa for months, living, driving, and figuring things out by myself.

These opportunities allowed me to have incredible experiences of shark diving, dog sledding, and even skiing for the first time.

I’m not implying you have to jump off a bridge, out of a plane, or into the water with great whites to gain confidence.

Confidence comes from doing not being. Most people want more confidence in at least one area of their lives. However, they fear the very thing that’ll give them confidence.

And it’s not about whether or not you have fear. It’s about what you do when you face that fear. Do you walk away or walk through it.

Walking away, your confidence will never grow. You’ll remain exactly where you are and stay the same person.

When you walk through it, it may be muddy, icky, and uncomfortable. Or it may be exhilerating, fun, and risky. It won’t be perfect the first time, and that’s perfectly okay. It shouldn’t be perfect.

In fact, you may need someone to push you (off) the first time. Relish in the fact, that you did it, no matter the circumstances around it.

And no matter how it looked the first time, you MUST walk through it again. Because the more you walk through it, the more comfortable you get at walking through it. And eventually, the easier it becomes.

Go out there and do. Do it up. Do it good. Make it happen. And then do it again and again and again.

That’s the only way confidence grows is by getting out there and doing it.

Do you want to…

Grow in leadership? Lead

Get better at asking someone out? Ask them out.

Improve your ability to speak up? Speak up.

Get better at applying for jobs? Apply for jobs.

Enhance your presenting skills? Present more.

Have better meetings? Have more meetings.

Get better on videos? Record more videos.

Encourage your people better? Encourage your people more.

Whatever it is your wanting more confidence with or in, do it more.

The more you do it, the better you’ll become. The better you become, the more confidence you’ll have in it.

Where do you want more confidence in your life?

What is one thing you can do today to get more confidence in that area (hint: get out there and just do it)?