How to get an A+ as a mom

As moms, we're haunted by guilt

→ Did I birth "correctly"?

→ Am I feeding them the "right" way?

→ Am I present enough?

We long to create secure attachment with our children...

But we're torn.

The devoted attachment parent feels at odds with the go-getter at work. Exhausting.

I won't tell you that you can "have it all."

But I will share two VERY important insights that changed everything for me.

They'll shift the "chronic not-good-enoughness" that has come to define of modern motherhood.

Ready ?

Tuning In: "Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa"

Okay, let's break this down in a way that doesn't sound like it came from a parenting textbook.

You know how your favorite song can instantly change your mood? Your voice does that for your baby, but on steroids.

When you use that goofy "baby talk," you're not just being silly - you're actually flipping switches in your kid's brain.

Think of your baby's nervous system like an old radio.

Your voice is the dial that tunes it to the right station.

When you hit the right frequency with your tone and rhythm (that's the fancy "prosody" bit), you're tuning your baby to the "I feel safe and loved" channel.

Now, the "ventral vagal system" sounds complicated, but it's basically your kid's chill-out button.

When it's working right, your baby can relax, connect, and not freak out at every new thing.

Here's the kicker: You don't have to nail this perfect mom voice 24/7.

In fact, you only need to hit the right note about 30% of the time. That's like getting a D- in school, but in parenting, it's an A+.

So next time you're doing that weird baby voice and feeling a bit ridiculous, remember - you're not just talking, you're tuning.

The 30% Rule: Your New Parenting Mantra

Now, here's the first mind-blowing insight: You only need to be "in tune" with your kid 30% of the time to create a secure attachment. That's right, 30%!

This means you don't have to be SuperMom all the time.

You can have a career, binge-watch Netflix, or heck, just stare at the wall sometimes. Your kid will still turn out great.

It's Not About Being Perfect, It's About Fixing the Oops

Here's another truth bomb: It's not about how often you mess up, it's about how you clean up the mess.

Think of it like learning to dance.

You're gonna step on some toes, but it's how smoothly you recover that makes you a good dancer.

This goes for all relationships - kids, partner, that annoying coworker, everyone.

Nervous System Challenge This Week

Want to level up your attachment game? Here's a simple but powerful move:

1. Reach out to someone you had a falling out with and try to patch things up.

That's it! This little act can rewire your brain to believe that fixing relationships is possible and not scary as hell.

Why This Matters

Modern Motherhood is a never ending maze. Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the "do more, be more" versions.

Remember, it's not about being perfect. It's about showing up when it counts and being willing to say "my bad" when things go sideways.

So the next time you're using that ridiculous baby voice, know that you're not just being a goofball - you're being a freaking neuroscientist.

And even if you hit a wrong note now and then, you're still making some sweet, sweet music.

Here's to being "good enough" moms (which is actually awesome),

Sangheetha

There’s never been a better time to invest in your nervous system. I am Sangheetha, I am a nervous system coach for Indian origin women execs and CEOs.

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