How to Get Invited to NYC Tech Events (And How to Make Sure You’re Invited Back)

For two decades in NYC, I've designed a myriad of events—from intimate dinner parties, rock shows, and extravagant galas to fundraisers for presidential candidates. Each one has been a unique tale etched into the city’s vibrant fabric. ??

In recent years, with the founding of Madeline & Co. and Strategy Market , I’ve shifted my focus to fostering startup communities through private founder/investor dinners and large cocktail parties. This piece is a guide for those looking to break into these tech events and, most importantly, to build connections that last. Here’s what I’ve learned about getting an invite, making an impression, and earning that return invitation. ??

Quick Note: These aren’t hard and fast rules; they’re insights from my experience hosting events over the years. Every host has their own style, and some might be stricter (or more relaxed) than I am. But if you’re looking to make a lasting impression, these tips are a good place to start. ??

Step One: Getting Through the Door

1. Complete Your RSVP Profile (Seriously)

• Don’t skip the essentials: photo, name, a short but compelling bio, and your social links on event platforms like Luma and Partiful .?
• Double-check your details, especially your LinkedIn link. Nothing says “missed opportunity” like a broken profile link.
• Be real about who you are. If you’re an investor, select that. A founder? Go with that. Misclassifying yourself (say, choosing “investor” when you’re currently at an early-stage startup) won’t go unnoticed and can jeopardize your invite.
• Tip: If you’re a dual-role dynamo (both founder and investor), choose the one most relevant to the event. Authenticity goes a long way.
• Answer the registration questions thoroughly and thoughtfully.?

2. Ensure You’re the Right Fit

• Review the event description—every detail matters. Ask yourself if it’s the right space for your goals. A little reflection here saves everyone time.
• If you’re extra eager to attend for a good reason, reach out and make your case. Many hosts, myself included, take these messages seriously.

3. Respect RSVP Policies

• Update your RSVP if you can’t make it as soon as possible. This allows others on the waitlist to attend and keeps the host from wasting resources.
• Don’t pull a no-show. This is especially crucial for private dinners, where space is limited. Each empty seat represents wasted food and a missed opportunity for another founder or investor. In most cases, no-shows are permanently banned from intimate events—no one is that important.
• If you were asked not to bring a plus-one, please respect this. Sneaking in guests complicates everything, and not in a fun way.
• Do. Not. Crash. Like, ever!?

4. Visitors Welcome!

• If you’re from out of town, let us know! A heads-up goes a long way in making sure you’re welcomed with a bit of NYC’s finest hospitality.

5. Show Up with Respect (and the Right Intention)

• Don’t attend just to “network”—come to build meaningful relationships and friendships. People can tell if you’re only there to grab contacts or pitch.
• Avoid showing up with a sales agenda. These events, especially intimate ones, are about building genuine connections. If you’d like to promote your services, consider sponsoring the event. It gives you access to the guest list, plus some solid brand recognition.
• Follow through on promises. If you said you’d introduce someone or share a resource, stick to it. Nobody likes to be given the runaround.

6. Avoid Cookie-Cutter Conversations

• Resist the urge to start with “So, what do you do?” or “Where are you from?” NYC thrives on originality, and small talk can quickly feel impersonal. Think outside the box and go for a more memorable conversation starter.

7. Don’t “Spray and Pray”

• Working the whole room and acting over-eager isn’t as subtle as you think. Take your time and be intentional in each interaction. People notice when you’re authentic and engaged.

8. Give People Space to Mingle

• Pay attention to conversational cues. If someone’s looking to move on, let them. Anchoring people down can come across as needy, and you don’t want to be “that person.”

9. Respect the Panelists, Presenters, and Performers

• If you’re attending a panel, especially from the front row, keep side conversations for later. Distracting the speakers is a major faux pas.
• And if there’s live music, show the musicians some love! Applaud, avoid standing directly in front of them, and keep your volume down—they’re there to enhance the experience, not to compete with it.?

Step Two: How to Get Invited Back

1. Follow Up with a Thank-You

• A day after the event, reach out. Send a thank-you note if it was an intimate event, or post a recap on social media, tagging the organizers and new connections. Share what you enjoyed about the event, especially if it was a sponsored one.

2. Don’t Expect Every Invite

• NYC’s tech scene is large, but event slots are limited. Organizers work hard to rotate guest lists and create diverse experiences. Appreciate the invites you get and don’t take it personally if you miss a few.

3. Misbehavior = Banned

• We’re all for a good time, but there are some lines that aren’t worth crossing. Harassment, unbearable arrogance, and negative vibes aren’t tolerated, and repeated issues mean a permanent goodbye.
• Leave romance for the apps. Flirting at these events isn’t a great look and can make others uncomfortable. Save those moments for a better setting.

4. Appreciate the Effort Behind the Scenes

• There’s more to organizing these events than most people realize. When you arrive, know that it took hard work to make it special. Soak it in, be present, and value every connection.

Parting Words

These events are about more than just “what’s in it for me.” Think of what you can bring to the table, how you can contribute, and make the community better than you found it. After all, you’re not the only one with a vision, and none of us gets there alone. ???

If you’re interested in joining our community and attending an upcoming event in New York City, head over to Madeline & Co. to sign up. We’re also hosting a founder-investor gathering on October 25, 2024—now you know what to do. ??

Stay awesome! ??

Prince Rumi