How to get a handle on self doubt

Every human has, had or will have?small to massive pangs of self doubt at some point. The only difference is whether they admit it or not. ??In this newsletter I dive into the issue with my most successful tips.

So upfront, let me admit that I also have times of self doubt when the doona and chocolate biscuits are my dearest friends.??

?It impacts equally ?senior executives earning $800K as it does administration staff at $80K. And for the self employed and business owners it’s often part of the territory.

?It’s a pesky little beast at times impacting both men and women of all ages. It absolutely needs to be acknowledged and redressed.

?Too clarify, it’s part of the overused label of imposter syndrome. I do not believe there is any difference as the bottom line feelings and gnawing disquiet are part and parcel of the pesky issue of judging yourself harshly.

???WHEN IT BECOMES A PROBLEM

It small doses self doubt helps us reframe and revise what we think and do in our careers and business. ?Reflection and performance analysis combined with nervous energy to succeed is also part of human existence.

But trouble emerges when self-doubt crosses over the line from reasonable self-deliberation into destructive immobility.

?Decision paralysis and feelings of inadequacy fuel the rumble keeping professionals stuck.

?? DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOW SELF-ESTEEM & SELF-DOUBT

?Self-doubt and low self-esteem are different but often intertwined. It's important to understand the differences.

Low self-esteem is a?lack of belief in your entire capability and intrinsic value.

Self Doubt can be situational, whereas low self-esteem is pervasive. ?It magnifies when focussing on past failures.

In Psychology Today ?the discussion is worth reading on the prevalence and issues of low. self esteem.

The Victorian government’s?Better Health Channel ?lists some of the root causes as negative feelings, fear of trying and judgement, perfectionism and low resilience.

Self doubt is mostly characterised by uncertainty and hesitancy when faced with new challenges, responsibilities and crises.?It can polarise careers and professionals if not managed and navigated.??

?? 8?WAYS TO HANDLE SELF DOUBT?

I have found there are eight areas to review and redress pesky to debilitating self-doubt.

Once beliefs are tackled and reframed, doubt and inaction moves to trust and action.

Get ready to lift up:

?1. Reality truth bomb - appearances can be deceiving

?The appearance of seamless success and confidence can be an illusion. Be very aware that appearances can be a pretence. It’s critical to never assume without knowing the reality.

Many embrace a ‘fake it till you make it ethos’. It’s worth remembering that all that glitters may not be gold.?

And here on LinkedIn, please don’t assume that every person with a massive ostensible huge following and influencer appearance is genuine.

Worth reading my blog on Buying followers and engagement on LinkedIn Exposed

?2. Share to diffuse - silence destroys but sharing strengthens

?Doubt thrives on the misapprehension of silence and shame. Sharing that you are feeling unworthy or a fraud can break the negative energy cycle.

Irrespective of whether you are a solo worker or a leader of hundreds, give yourself and others permission to accept that you are all part of a moving train of responses and feelings.

3. The jam jar - reality statements are not value judgements

When we are inside our own metaphorical jam jar we cannot see our own label. But others can. Inviting others who support you to share perspectives of your value is critical.

Self-judgements can be incorrect and not shared by others. Do you need honest feedback and recalibration if your opinions are true? Mostly they are not.

Reality statements are not value judgements

?4. Owning your brilliance — you did it, you rocked it — you own it!

?Everyone has skills and values that are uniquely brilliant to them. Communicating with honesty and owning your value is not showing off or bragging.

Backing yourself and controlling your own personal brand marketing position and and successes are essential.

It is not bragging to share achievements, yet many (especially women) shy away from communicating and owning their power and success.

?5. Comparison rabbit hole - no one does exactly what you do

?If you are comparing yourself with others please just stop as it’s a rabbit hole of angst. Embracing your unique differentiation is essential.

The only evaluation of importance is comparing what you did yesterday to what you did today and to keep learning. Stop comparing yourself with others as you do not know their story or where they are in the journey. Its like comparing a ox with a rabbit - not smart!

?No one does exactly what you do in the same way you do it

6. Perfectionism - is a fairy tale without a happy ending

?Expecting yourself to be 100% perfect, 100% of the time is not only balderdash but a mental health slippery slope.

Procrastination sits in the centre of perfectionism thwarting action and progress.

Give yourself a break, you are not a robot but a human. As Ita Buttrose famously once said, ‘Done well is enough’.

?7. Self-sabotage - quit the nonsense excuses that keep you small

?Self-sabotage manifests in many pernicious ways. Resisting the help and services needed is a form of self-sabotage.

If you don’t believe you are worthy of success and support you may refuse or cancel the exact help needed to get you there.

Fear of success intertwines around low self-esteem and self-doubt. Check the real motivations of your decisions or indecision.

?8. Just dive in — never miss a chance

?Action is the only way to get into the flow and lose the self-doubt. Practice, persistence and courage are the fuel to knock fear away.

?Susan Jeffers, author of ‘Feel the Fear Feel and Do It Anyway’ shares in her?truths of fear ?that:

??“Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else! This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway.”

??? SEEK SUPPORT

?If you identify that you are feeling that low self-esteem is the bigger issue I highly recommend reaching out for professional counselling.

There is no shame in admitting that you have low self esteem or self doubt.?Indeed it is the best thing you can do so you can address it.?

I see so many people clearly struggling with either and without any support the problem magnifies.?Strength and power is in acknowledgement not denial.

And if you are wanting to get a robust marketing handle on your career and business, reach out to me for a chat to see how I can help you.

?Till next time

About

Sue Parker is the founder and owner of DARE Group Australia.??

She is a communications & personal profile marketer, executive job search strategist and LinkedIn specialist.

A respected regular media contributor and leading media commentator on LinkedIn news and updates.?

Contact Sue sparker@daregroupaustralia ?/ www.daregroupaustralia.com.au

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