How To Get Fired. And Still Be Ok.

I took a lot of time thinking about whether to write this or not.

I got advice from friends and family and ultimately decided that an experience like an untimely separation doesn't have to be a stain on a career path. I went through a tough experience parting ways with an employer and also found out that I have more friends who have been fired than I realized and wanted to share my reflection as a way to connect with the experiences of others.

Here are some things I've learned through an experience I had. Some of these were quick to realize and others I'm still grappling with but they're all a part of who I want to become in this season of my career.

In no particular order, here they are.

Take Your Time

Being in-between jobs (and not knowing where your next paycheck will come from) is stressful. But it's an important time to evaluate your goals and values. If you think about it, few people ever get the opportunity to start with a completely clean slate. If you've ever been fired, you might feel that you can't really go any lower. You can take a totally new career or life path and you have nothing to lose. Catch your breath - take time to relearn who you are and then move forward confidently.

Be Grateful For Your Opportunity

It's likely the last few months, or years, probably haven't been very fun. There is usually a lot of friction leading up to an employee separation. But that doesn't mean that that entire career chapter was a total loss. There is a verse in the book of Philippians that encourages people to dwell on the things that are admirable, praiseworthy, and excellent. There may be no more important time to think about such things as after being let go from a frustrating situation. The writer of that verse then goes on to say that that's when you find true peace.

You became a stronger person. You expanded your skillset. Give thanks for those things.

Wish Your Previous Employer Well (and mean it)

Holding onto a grudge hurts YOU the very most in the long run. This one might not come easy, or quickly, but let it be your goal to wish your previous employer well from deep inside of you. Going your separate ways doesn't have to be personal; it's usually more about fit than anything else. Don't hold on to negative feelings or grudges. You'll be happier and more confident when you're able to hope for success for your previous employer and bury any grudges you once had.

Own Your Mistakes

Great leaders are ones who know when to admit they made a mistake and take responsibility for making them right. You'll have plenty of opportunity to grow from this opportunity, especially if you can reflect on, and articulate, where you erred. Everybody makes mistakes, but when something big happens, like getting fired, nobody wants to take the blame for a broken relationship. You don't need to take all of the blame, but you do need to own your mistakes and learn from them so you can be a more productive and effective employee to your next employer.

Move On Without Being Afraid

You could easily move on and live under the fear of getting terminated again. We're humans. We're made to protect ourselves and reduce the risk of possible danger. But as I mentioned, the more I talked with people about this topic, the more I learned people's stories of getting fired and I was amazed at their bravery to push through the fear of failure and swing for the fences once again. It's ok to fail hard. It might happen again; it might not. But what matters most is that you attack your work with passion and move on without the fear of getting fired again.

Just one chapter earlier in the book of Philippians, the writer says, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal."

A Few More Suggestions:

Here are a few more suggestions that I would make in the wake of a termination. As I mentioned, I'm still grappling with some of these and imagine there may be some others who are as well.

• Find people to be honest with and debrief your situation.
• Forgive any mistakes your employer made against you. There are inevitably things they did wrong, but hanging onto them doesn't help.
• Don't talk bad about your previous employer. This might be a hard one; it's easy to talk negatively about your previous employer so that you can try to save face. Your business peers won't be impressed with your over-willingness to bad-talk a previous professional relationship, but they will be impressed with how you choose to respect them despite any frustration you may have experienced.

At the end of the day...

...getting fired is frustrating and humbling, but it doesn't have to define your career or hold you back from your goals. In fact, getting fired can be a blessing if you learn from it and patiently move forward with integrity and confidence.

Enjoy your new season and give yourself time to find your new path.