How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

In the last article , we discovered what it means to be inside and outside of the comfort zone. We learned that the comfort zone is the KNOWN and where it feels comfortable and stepping outside of the comfort zone means being in the UNKNOWN where it can be uncomfortable. Read the previous article if you want to know why it’s so hard to step out of your comfort zone.

In this article, we will discuss the tools or knowledge we can leverage to make stepping out of our comfort zones easier. Or in the words of the article's title: How to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Your Level of Uncomfortableness

We all have a level of uncomfortableness that we can deal with or are happy to live with. And that level will be unique for each of us. But that means as well that this level is not set in stone. It can change in both directions. Today, we are looking at how we can have a higher level of uncomfortableness in our lives.?

Being uncomfortable is good for us as it allows us to go after our dreams and desires. If you read the last article you know that your dreams and desires are outside of your comfort zone, in the UNKNOWN. Therefore being able to more willingly or happily step out of your comfort zone can bring you to your dreams faster.?

If you always stay in your comfort zone and avoid situations where you might fail or be uncomfortable, then there is no way for you to grow.

Being more comfortable being uncomfortable

Some people are naturally more comfortable trying new things in life and are more comfortable being uncomfortable simply because they have chosen to constantly stretch their limits.

These people are already in the habit of pushing themselves past their limits on a regular basis so they know what it is like to be outside of their comfort zone. They have an increased tolerance for discomfort because they have become desensitized over time. Constantly facing new difficult situations and learning from them has left them building those muscles that allow them to spend more time in an uncomfortable state.

If I think about my life over the last few years, I can say that applied that to my comfortableness or uncomfortableness of travelling by myself. After having done it the first time and “survived” I stretched myself and kept going. And now it’s something I sooo enjoy and get so much out of. I would not miss it for the world and I am so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone the first time around.?

What is the difference between being scared vs. being uncomfortable?

Now, that might sound scary to you! You might literally feel scared stepping out of your comfort zone. Those states, being scared and being uncomfortable, can feel very similar or even blend into each other.?

Being uncomfortable means that you are in a situation where things are unfamiliar, outside the usual, and unpredictable. In contrast, being scared implies fear or anxiety about something dangerous happening to yourself or others.

You can be uncomfortable without being scared or even anxious. Being uncomfortable is a normal and healthy part of life that can’t really be avoided. When faced with something new or different, we all experience some degree of discomfort at first but then we adapt to the situation after getting used to it.

The key is knowledge and gaining familiarity with any new situation. But if you experience intense fear or anxiety in new situations, this could be a sign of a mental health issue and you would want to seek professional support.

How can we get more comfortable being uncomfortable?

So how can we train ourselves to be more comfortable being uncomfortable? The answer lies in the practice of it, in literally training yourself. Getting to know your triggers and signs when you get uncomfortable. The more you understand yourself in these situations, the easier it will be to continue your training outside of your comfort zone.

Here are a few things that you can do to train yourself:

• Start small and in areas that don’t feel important to you. Keep stepping out of your comfort zone where the risks are not so high.
• Try out new things like food, experiences, or activities. That way you start desensitizing yourself and it won’t even feel uncomfortable anymore after a while. Like with my solo travelling.?
• Social events that you might want to avoid are great practice grounds to stay in the feeling of uncomfortableness. Put yourself into the situation and observe the emotion inside of you. You will realize that nothing bad is happening even if you feel uncomfortable. And it only lasts until you find a person to connect with and you feel comfortable again.
• If you are, like me, a planner and love to organize, how about organizing your exits from your comfort zone? Write down 3 situations or activities that you’d really like to do but that make you feel uncomfortable. And then plan the first steps you can take. Challenge yourself to work off that list of steps to take yourself into the UNKNOWN.
• Stay curious and learn more about certain topics in your life. Even ask questions when you have the opportunity. It gives you a chance to get more comfortable with new beliefs, perspectives and opinions.?

Our triggered survival systems getting in our way

In the previous article , we discovered that our survival systems don’t like to be in an unpredictable state. And being outside of your comfort zone means unpredictability. So your survival systems will try anything to move you back into your comfort zone where everything is known and predictable. So what can we do to work with our survival systems?

For your survival system, the situation feels unsafe, as if you were in danger. The problem is that most of the time that is not the case. So the activation of our survival system is natural but not helpful. We therefore want to communicate with our systems that it’s safe and that this is not a life-threatening situation.?

Tools to communicate to our survival systems that it’s safe

Here are tools that help me to move from my unbalanced state back into a balanced state where I am calm and my mind isn’t hijacked by stress chemicals.??

Tool No. 1

Breathing deep into my belly has various benefits in that situation. Breathing deeply and all the way into the belly gives a sign that it’s safe for the nervous system. Shallow breathing just in your chest is the opposite and a sign of stress. Secondly putting your focus on breathing moves you into the present moment and stops you from spiraling into unhelpful and destructive thought patterns.?

Tool No. 2

Create a mantra for these situations. A phrase or a few words that give your survival instincts the message that you are safe. You can literally use the words: I am safe. Or something similar. The more often you use it, the quicker your nervous system reads the cues and allows you to come back into balance.?

Tool No. 3

Mentally rehearse the situation to be ready. Our frontal lobe which is part of our brain allows us to imagine a situation. We often use it to come up with worst-case scenarios. But in this case, we can use it to practise how we can stay calm and collected in a situation that will put us out of our comfort zone. Sit down in silence, close your eyes and imagine the situation going well. The more you practice it in your mind, the better you can manage your survival instinct when the real situation comes around.

You have now more than enough tools to go out there and step into the UNKNOWN. Make your dreams and desires come true!